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The Birds Hate Me for What I Have Done

2020.09.22 20:13 MikeJesus The Birds Hate Me for What I Have Done

I have made a powerful enemy.
There’s approximately eighty thousand pigeons that roost within Prague city limits. They roam through the farmer’s markets looking for drops of food, they sit on the Art Noveau windowsills that loom near the city center, every figure of Czech history who has been rewarded with a statue is also rewarded with a pigeon patron who will sit and shit on top of their heads for all eternity. Every inch of the city is filled with those gray birds.
But not today.
As the farmer’s markets get set up the peddlers mumble to themselves about the surprising lack of avian companionship. The twilight commuters look up at the bare windowsills and try to figure out what has changed in the architecture of the city overnight. The layer of droppings on Winston Churchill’s head is at least a day old. This morning, as the city slowly rustles awake to the midi tones of cellphone alarms, the pigeons are gathering outside of the main train station.
They’re here because of me.
The birds hate me for what I have done.
For weeks I have only traveled by night, for weeks I have been avoiding the inevitable, for weeks I had hoped they would simply forget. But they didn’t and I know they won’t. The birds will not let me live freely until I pay for what I have done.
I set out this morning to bring the feud to rest, but as I emerge out of the subway and see what awaits me beyond the Plexiglas windows I get second thoughts. The park outside the automatic doors of the train station has been swallowed up in feathers. From the sea of gray, hateful beads of crimson stare at me. They’re waiting.
There’s two bags filled with Bohemia Bakery croissants in my hands. I can’t control the shaking. I can’t deny the inevitable. As the loudspeakers squawk out announcements of delays in a dozen muffled languages I can’t help but to think about how I got here.
There has to be a better word for it than break-up. We were engaged for the better part of a year, sharing a bed for five, dating for seven. A break-up sounds like a cracked plate, a minor inconvenience, something that you shrug off and carry on with your life. What happened between Julia and me was a multi-ton hydrogen bomb.
She said I never introduce her to work friends. So I did. I introduced her to the IT guy who I would occasionally grab beers with after work. She got to know him more intimately than I ever did. Much more intimately.
Suddenly, the person who was my one constant over the past seven years was telling me we could still be friends. Suddenly, the comfortable pad in the center that was affordable from two paychecks was replaced by a five person flat share in the housing projects. Suddenly, I couldn’t show my face in the office anymore.
He set up the remote-work software on my laptop. It took fifteen minutes but that moment dragged on for eternity. He mumbled an apology. My hand tightened into a fist, the uncapped pen on my desk gleamed with sharpness but I remained impotent. He regularly went to the gym. I didn’t.
When he finished the set-up he offered me his hand and without thinking I shook it. I even mumbled a “Thank you.”
I wanted to rip off my tongue and throw it out for the birds to devour.
Working from home was impossible. Not only was I in the midst of a personal cataclysm, but my four roommates had social lives so loud and amorous that they seeped through the paper-thin walls every second of the day. Whenever they brought someone home there was no escape from the echoes of lovemaking. I knew that back in my old apartment, in that cozy flat in the center, Julia was screaming the IT guy’s name. I had been with her for long enough to be able to imagine it all so vividly.
I needed to get out of that house.
‘Bohemia Bakery croissants, that’s a good treat right there, brother.’ The voice, followed by a familiar smell of distillates and festering bandages, drags me back into the present moment. Outside, the congregation of pigeons is slowly growing. In front of me, a Prague train station vagrant. ‘Got a lot of those croissants there, brother. Mind helping a hungry fella out?’
He looks like he’s been through a war-zone, his tattered rags the uniform of an army that loses in perpetuity. Beyond the Plexiglas the pigeons stare. I give the homeless man one of the croissants. I do this partially out of human kindness, but mainly in hopes that the pigeons see that I am not a monster, that the pigeons take pity on me.
The sea of beady eyes doesn’t flinch. They don’t care.
‘God bless, brother, God bless,’ the vagrant says as he starts to walk away. He stops. After considering the crowd of pigeons he turns back to me. ‘A lot of pigeons, eh? God bless, brother.’
He sets off towards the doors and I know I should follow him. I know it’s time for me to pay the price for my sins. I know there is no other way to get rid of the birds. But my legs are frozen.
When the homeless man is a couple of steps away from me a dark thought enters my mind. Maybe I can trick the pigeons into taking their revenge on someone else. They’re pigeons, how smart can they be? I open my mouth to yell out to him –
I want to give him another croissant. I want to suggest he take both the bags of offerings. I want to make him the target of the avian hatred.
But before I can vocalize my offer the plan falls apart.
The vagrant walks past the automatic doors into the park outside. The pigeons pay him no mind; he is completely invisible to them. They’re here for me and they’re getting impatient.
As the automatic doors grind to a close three pigeons fly into the station. I reach into my Bohemia Bakery bag and start turning croissants into crumbs between my fingers. The birds are getting restless.
Walking into the Bohemia Bakery on Michalská Street and setting up my laptop for a day of excel scrolling was a completely arbitrary decision. There’s hundreds of corporate owned coffee shops in Prague that have stable wi-fi and inoffensive Spotify playlists for ambience. I ended up there completely by accident. Yet as soon as I got settled I knew I wouldn’t be leaving any time soon.
Bohemia Bakery had all the makings of a coffee shop office. The refreshments were cheap enough to be drunk without a second thought, the neighborhood was safe enough to quell any fears about my laptop being stolen and the majority of the customers were locals. I have no qualms with tourists or immigrants, but American clientele does have a tendency to turn their private conversations into public three act plays. The chatter in the coffee shop was limited to complaint-filled grumbles, as is Czech custom.
The good work environment that Bohemia Bakery provided, however, was completely irrelevant to why I kept on coming there day after day. From the moment I saw her my visits to Bohemia Bakery ceased to be work related. I kept on coming back for Bára.
I was in a dark place. Every other morning I woke up to messages that I had sent to Julia in the middle of the night and forgotten about.
“I’m scared I’ll forget the smell of you.”
“You’re a scab I can’t stop picking.”
“Remember when we made love in the mountains?”
The response was always the same:
“Jesus, Mark, stop sending me these weird messages.”
The texts were desperate attempts to change her mind about moving on. Somewhere, in the depths of my soul, I was still sixteen and believed that one poetic message could turn back the clock on years of a stagnant relationship. I was sick with heartbreak, there was no one out who could make me happy like Julia did. The moment I saw Bára I knew that was a lie.
She made the question “Cash or card?” sound like a line of sensuous poetry pried from the throats of love-struck bards. When she prepared orders she didn’t move like a twenty-year-old barista, she floated behind her counter like a goddess examining the offerings that were being burnt in her temple. That unflattering gray and gold uniform that Bohemia Bakery would force on their employees to wear looked downright erotic on her. God forbid when the milquetoast music the coffee shop had turned to something with an actual beat. If there weren’t any customers Bára would quietly dance.
I tried not to stare. I wasn’t very good at that.
She didn’t mind. The moment when she winked at me I knew I was in love.
I stayed in the coffee shop for much longer than my job demanded. When I was around her all thoughts of Julia seemed absurd. Bára kept on smiling and winking and occasionally she would stick out her pierced tongue at me. After a week of nervously sneaking peeks at the coffee shop Venus I asked her out. After her shift was over we went to sit down in a nearby park.
There are so many parts of that night that have made themselves permanent in my memory; the way her hand slipped into mine before we even reached the park, the smell of cherry blossom and bubble gum that stemmed from her neck, the way her piercing clinked against my nervous teeth, the way she looked up at me when we made love. But none of the memories are as permanent in my head as the words she said when she threw out crumbs of stale croissants to the pigeons that gathered around us in the park.
“Ever looked a pigeon in the eyes? They’re angry creatures. And they talk. Always better to stay on their good side.”
Even as those tiny beaks pick at the droplets of dough scattered through the dirty tiles of the train station the pigeons keep their beady eyes locked on me.
There are more than a few of them now. The out-of-towners who come to Prague for work from the countryside are keeping the automatic doors opened wide. For each person that leaves the train station a pigeon sneaks its way in. The people might be leaving for different jobs but the aim of the birds is singular. Their aim is revenge.
An Uber Eats driver waiting for his next order plays a beautiful melody on one of the pianos that the city council has strewn across the city. He stops as I walk by him. The procession of pigeons behind me is impossible to ignore.
People keep on looking at me. I’m sweating. I know what’s coming. I know that there’s only so long that the pigeons are willing to wait for justice. I know how this all ends.
But still, there’s a part of me that wants to ignore the reality of my situation. Out of habit I take out my phone and text Julia.
“There’s a group of pigeons chasing me through the train station. They mean me harm. Help!”
Her living situation could have been better. Bára shared her two bedroom flat with three other girls from her hometown. On most nights the only thing that kept our lovemaking sessions out of Bára’s roommate’s eye-line was the sheet we draped from the bookshelf.
She moved out from the countryside with her three bestest friend to go live the crazy, cosmopolitan life out in the capital. I don’t think Bára’s roommate felt very cosmopolitan on the nights I stayed over.
There were also the pigeons. The mattress that Bára slept on was propped up against the window to the balcony and every morning I would wake up to the cooing of sky-rats. They usually managed to catch me about fifteen minutes before my alarm clock went off, and they were a gentler welcome to the waking world than the blaring of midi tones off my phone, but the constant cooing definitely made the Sunday morning cuddles less romantic.
Pigeons and roomates aside, the first couple months of our relationship went smoothly. All thoughts of Julia floated away. I felt no need to send her weird texts or obsess over whether she was still thinking about me. I was just enjoying my Bohemian Bakery beauty.
An old classmate of Bára’s came to visit. She knew all about me, Bára had spent the past couple of weeks preparing this girl to meet her “Super cool boyfriend” and whilst meeting a person who knew more about me than I knew about them would have intimidated me back when I was dating Julia, I didn’t mind by then. I had grown into my role. I didn’t know what made me cool or even what made Bára like me so much, but after months of living in my new, lucky reality I stopped questioning it.
Bára stole a couple of bottles of wine from the bakery and invited me over to get drunk with the rest of the apartment. I had the most minor of moral qualms about Bára’s theft, but after a couple of glasses my dislike of stealing became a purely hypothetical topic rather than an actual source of bother. I listened to the four girls drunkenly tell stories from the countryside.
‘Holy shit,’ Bára’s visiting friend said after the fourth bottle of wine had been drained, ‘We’re the only ones from our graduating class who don’t have any kids yet.’
I laughed. Hard. I was etching towards my early thirties and the thought of producing offspring seemed like something that wouldn’t happen for a long, long time. The idea that somewhere out in the countryside people were getting married at twenty seemed absurd to me.
As I laughed Bára kept her glass pressed to her lips. She drained it, poured another and topped me off in the process. We drank more. The other roommates went out clubbing. I was left alone with Bára and her visiting friend. We drank more. The three of us got drunk enough to lay down on the mattress.
One moment I was splashing water on my face trying to sober up and the next I tasted a kiss drenched in menthol cigarettes and red wine. The tongue that was caressing mine felt different. There was no piercing.
I opened up my eyes in terror realizing that I was not kissing my girlfriend. Bára’s friend looked up at me sheepishly. A familiar hand ran down my back.
‘It’s okay honey, it’s not like we’re married yet, we can share.’
I woke up with a horrible hangover the next day, it felt like my eyes were about to pop out of my skull and take everything I had ever eaten in the past 24 hours along with them, but the two naked bodies next to me assured me that my pain was temporary.
Overall, my life was good. With the help of the gentle cooing from the balcony I went back to sleep.
Then things changed.
We were sitting on the tram riding out to the farmer’s market to grab something to eat. There was a lull in the conversation, the type of lull where you throw out a random observation or a Facebook article headline in hopes of having something to talk about. She mentioned it as if it was the most casual thing in the world, as if it wasn’t a matter of any importance at all.
‘Missed my period three days ago.’
I think the lady at the ticket office is calling animal control. There’s a good thirty pigeons behind me now.
I have been mobbed by them before. Back in the early days, before I knew they were after me, they’d chase me while I was going out for groceries, or out drinking. There would always be a confused driver or a subway to help me escape. I have never tried to face the pigeons.
I start making my way towards the doors. This charade has been going on for long enough. I try to trick myself into believing that the pigeons will go easy on me, that they won’t really hurt me.
Yet as I walk towards the automatic doors one of the birds jumps up and pecks at my jeans.
Those beaks are sharp. Sharp enough to give me second thoughts. Sharp enough to make me think that maybe the solution to my qualm with the pigeons is to pack up and move.
I try to think of a country without pigeons, I can’t, but I presume there is one. There has to be one.
Deciding to move my life instead of paying for what I’ve done, I start making my way down into the subway. They follow.
But that’s fine. I convince myself that’s fine. As soon as the subway is about to arrive I can just break into a sprint and hop on. No way all thirty of them can follow me. Worst case scenario I’ll be locked up in a metal tube with two or three angry pigeons. I could take those on if needed.
I have killed pigeons before. Well, theoretically at least.
We didn’t talk about it. Well, we did, but not really.
‘Missed my period three days ago.’
‘Oh shit.’
‘Oh, don’t worry.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yeah.’
Then we moved on to talking about something else. For the whole day there was no discussion of Bára’s potential pregnancy, but from the moment that she mentioned it a cold sweat broke over me. Somewhere in the back of my head I started to imagine her as a lifelong partner.
I didn’t like what I saw.
What I once thought of as a face of perfection was now just a disparate collection of sharp facial features with crooked teeth. Her voice, her laugh, it all droned in my ears in a horrible, annoying way.
I tried to remind myself not to be shallow, not to judge the woman who I had been dating for nearly half a year based on her looks. That made the situation significantly worse.
As we were walking around the farmer’s market Bára started eating a sandwich. I knew that she didn’t buy it. I knew that she didn’t bring one. I knew she stole it.
Bára liked to steal shit. I didn’t mind her swiping stuff from the bakery, didn’t have empathy to spare for corporate owned franchises, but Bára stealing stuff from old folks got under my skin.
‘Hey, where did you get that sandwich?’
‘Found it on the floor. Ha-ha!’
She gave me a smile and a wink. I started to miss Julia again.
By the time we got back home the feverish dislike that I was starting to develop for Bára had turned physical. My head throbbed with some horrible strain of the flu that had crept into my system. I considered going home, but Bára assured me that the wave of fatigue I was feeling was just sleep deprivation. All I needed to do was take a nap and I’d be right as rain. I was too tired to argue.
By late afternoon I was fading in and out of consciousness on Bára’s mattress as she piled more and more blankets on top of me.
‘Ah, c’mon, just sweat it out babe. Quit complaining, you’re a real man, aren’t you?’
Her voice cut through my migraine like the stolen cutlery she had in her kitchen. What made the sickness induced delirium so much worse were the pigeons on the balcony. They just kept on cooing. Even as I drifted off into frenzied fever dreams I could sense their dirty, feathered bodies rustling behind the paper-thin walls.
‘What if I actually am pregnant?’ I heard a voice ask out of the darkness. I was far too deep in the sweaty, lethargic limbo to identify the source but through context clues I figured out who was asking. I pretended to be asleep.
‘What if I actually am pregnant?’ Bára asked, again, this time prodding me with her frigid foot.
I let loose a torrent of mucus filled coughs, hoping to dissuade her from trying to talk to me. It didn’t work. Her cold toes ran across my burning abdomen.
‘Mark, what if I actually am pregnant?’ She asked, sweetly.
‘Can we talk about this tomorrow?’ I groaned.
‘Sure,’ she hissed with the intensity of a silenced pistol.
Bára’s roommate was snoring, the pigeons outside were cooing and just as I started to get used to the jarring soundscape of the bedroom Bára started to sob next to me.
I pretended to be asleep, and eventually, I was.
I make my way down the stairs to the subway platform with dreams of escape glowing in my heart.
I could grow a shitty beard and live in some cabin in the woods, or lounge around on some exotic beach, or I could be freezing my ass of in the arctic. The only important thing is getting on that subway and riding off to somewhere where there are no flying rats that demand vengeance.
The screeching of metal. Below me, the subway has just arrived. I hold on tight to the railing and start jumping down the stairs two at a time. I’m praying that the doors of the train will stay open long enough for me to make my escape.
Some of the birds stop hopping down the stairs and ascend into flight. The feathers of the pigeons fit right into the metallic gray of the subway station in the worst possible way.
There’s a new mom who doesn’t quite know how to handle a stroller stalling the doors to the subway. I still have a chance, I can still run in and make my escape – but just as I am descending the last three steps towards the platform one of those beady eyed vermin dives straight at me.
I lift my hand off the rail to shoo the pigeon away, shifting my balance. Suddenly, I’m falling. Suddenly, my head crashes against the concrete. Suddenly, I’m back on my feet, running towards the subway, screaming past the burning pain that has materialized in my ankle.
I slam into the closed doors. Everyone on the train stares at me and my bizarre pursuers in horror. Except for the baby. The baby points and giggles and laughs from its carriage as the train slowly rumbles into life and disappears in the dark tunnel.
The next train is coming in eight minutes.
I’m at the edge of the platform and there’s a good fifty pigeons staring at me.
‘Jesus, you’re still here?’
I woke up to the sound of Bára’s roommate angrily stomping around the bedroom. My fever was gone, but somehow it had managed to carry me into the late afternoon.
‘It smells like a frigging sex dungeon here dude. Least you could have done was pop open a window.’ She towers over me, eyes filled with disgust, as she cracks open the balcony windows. ‘And you should definitely talk to Bára. It’s none of my business but when she left to work today she was… Gross! Eeew!’
‘Gross?’ I sat up on the mattress. The roommate didn’t look at me, she just kept on staring out of the window. ‘Bára was… gross?’
‘No, you idiot. Look outside. No wonder those birds have been waking us up every morning. There’s a goddamn nest on the balcony.’
As soon as the moist covers slid off me the dizzying stench of sweat overpowered any amount of fresh air coming in from the window. Bára’s roommate jumped back in disgust and with a barrage of comments about how disgusting I am, she left.
Among the discarded plastic bags and cigarette butts there was a roughly picked home of straw. In it there were three little eggs that looked like dirty oversized tic-tacs.
Bára’s roommate pressed a broom into my hand.
‘Go.’
‘Go where?’
‘Go push that shit off the roof. They carry diseases, you know.’
‘Why me?’
‘Why you? Because you’re a frigging man, act like it.’
Memories of the IT guy setting up my remote working software crawled through the back of my head. I grabbed the broom and went out to the balcony, intent on proving my masculinity. All I had to do was just push the nest off into the street below and Bára’s roommate would get off my back.
Yet as soon as I got outside on the terrace I realized I wasn’t alone. On the neighbor’s windowsill, just a meter or two away from the nest, was a pigeon. The bird’s feathers were fuller than any other pigeon that I had ever seen, it’s eyes shone in a blood red, hateful glow. This was no ordinary pigeon.
And it was watching me.
I moved up the broom to the edge of the nest, but my arms froze. Something about that animal’s blank expression was telling me that I was about to take a step into a world from which I could not return, something was telling me that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life. An ancient, Hammurabi-era truth loomed behind those red orbs.
An eye for an eye,
A tooth for a tooth,
You harm my young and we will harm yours,
The front door opened. I could hear Bára’s tired voice.
‘Is my man still here?’
‘Yeah, your middle management looking dude is out on the balcony, trying to work up the balls to get rid of a pigeon nest,’ I heard her roommate say.
The passive aggressive insult didn’t even register with me. I was lost in the showdown with the pigeon. Those eyes meant business, and that beak looked sharp enough to break the skin.
I could pick up the nest and take it outside, I could put it in a tree, I could google how to deal with this situation, there were so many things that I could have done but, before I knew it, there was a pair of cold hands wrapped around the broom. Bára pressed her body against mine and before I knew it the broom did its job.
The pigeon’s eyes went wide. Like a paper airplane covered in gravel the nest tumbled down into the street with the gentlest crunch. Within seconds it went from being a bastion of blossoming life to being some leash-less dog’s dinner.
‘Come inside. We need to talk.’ No kiss. She was angry.
The pigeon’s eyes were still locked on the crushed eggs running over the pavement. A wave of self-loathing washed through my chest. It was time for an apology.
I cleared my throat. The pigeon’s eyes quickly darted back to me. That wide-eyed expression of shock quickly faded away. The balls of red that dwelled in the creature’s skull turned into focused, hate-filled dots.
“Look, I’m so-“
The bird launched at my tongue.
My avian predicament catches the attention of a group of Chinese tourists gathered on the other side of the platform. For a split second the shuttering of cameras rises above the cooing, but as the pigeons get closer the clicks and flashes became imperceptible static.
The pigeons have me cornered. I’ve started throwing the croissants from Bohemia Bakery at them wholesale, but for every pigeon I distract there are five more that are thirsty for blood. They’re thirsty for revenge.
The birds hate me for what I have done.
With my back up against a map of the Prague subway system I look up at the ‘Next arrival’ board. The red numbers glare: five minutes thirty-six seconds and counting.
I fire off another text to Julia:
The birds will punish me for what I have done.”
I look out into the sea of gray and see a familiar set of red dots. The bird who’s children I killed leads the march.
I don’t have five minutes. I don’t even have thirty-six seconds.
Wings flutter, the birds take flight. With closed eyes I pray that my punishment will be swift.
It isn’t.
My skin burns with blood as the razor beaks bite into me. My hands barely cover my eyes as the pigeons try to claw at my face. They drag at my hair, they tear at my clothes, they peck at my jeans.
My agony reaches incomprehensible heights. With each bite of flesh they take, however, a sliver of my consciousness fades away. Before the pigeons get to the worst part of their punishment, I black out.
We sat in her kitchen; me, pressing a packet of frozen peas to my tongue and her, nursing a cigarette lit off the stove. Smoke drifted from her nostrils as if she was a passive-aggressive dragon.
‘Thanku, don’t kno wha got into that brd.’ My numb, bleeding tongue didn’t get my point across very eloquently but Bára understood what I meant. Those hazel eyes burrowed into me, watching every twitch in my face.
‘Not pregnant,’ she finally said, ‘Had my period this morning.’
‘Tha’s grea!’ I yelled, sending a trickle of iron into my mouth. I grinned. That was the first good news I heard all day.
She wasn’t smiling.
‘What if I actually was pregnant?’ She took a drag and looked away from me. Whatever nuanced reaction my face made wasn’t to her liking.
The conversation dragged on into eternity and at each turn I said the wrong things. Even if my mouth wasn’t slowly filling up with blood, even if my tongue didn’t have a beak-imposed lisp, I don’t think I could have salvaged that relationship.
I didn’t notice the bird at first, but as soon as I became aware of him it was impossible to fully focus on what Bára was saying. Right behind her, with my blood on his beak, was my red-eyed enemy. Soon friends joined him. The longer Bara and me spoke, the bigger our audience got.
Those beady eyes burnt with hatred.
I left the apartment, newly single, with blood in my mouth and a toothbrush in my pocket, and started making my way towards the bus station. I was about to fire off a text to Julia to let her know I was still in love with her but before I could unblock her number-
Peck!
Something small and sharp snapped at my scalp. The flock of enraged pigeons descended me from the windowsills of the Soviet-era housing projects. If there wasn’t a subway station nearby I probably would have lost an eye.
At first I had hoped that the assault from the pigeons was simply a rare occurrence of an angry parent, yet they followed me everywhere. For months I lived my life in fear, desperately hoping that they would tire of chasing me, but it became clear that the birds would not leave me alone.
They wouldn’t leave me alone until I paid the price.
I keep staring out of the window. This makes the doctor visibly uncomfortable. He tells me about how my body was rushed into surgery, about how there is a good chance I have contracted a fair amount of diseases, about all of the permanent damage that the pigeons had inflicted on me, but I just keep looking out of the window.
I had an educated guess on the extent of the pigeon’s revenge.
An eye for an eye,
A tooth for a tooth,
You harm my young and I will harm yours,
The doctor eventually gives up on trying to elicit a reaction out of me and leaves me alone in my room. And I am alone. The windowsill is empty. The pigeons have had their revenge.
I breathe out a sigh of pained relief.
Ding!
I get a text from someone who makes my heart flutter.
I look back at the conversation.
ME – 5:16AM: “There’s a group of pigeons chasing me through the main train station. They mean me harm. Help!”
ME – 5:24AM: “The Birds will punish me for what I have done.”
JULIA – 7:02PM: “What???”
In the stillness of the hospital room I type out my reply, my explanation. As soon as my scarred thumbs punch the words into reality a weight is lifted off my chest. A chapter of my life has ended. I am free now.
Ding!
ME – 7:02PM: “It’s okay. The pigeons have punished me for my misdeeds. I am scarred and will never be able to have children, but I am a free man. I love you.”
JULIA – 7:03PM: “Jesus Mark, stop sending me these messages.”
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2020.09.18 18:56 PhatA18Sepl G-ay Se-x Big Di--ck Video

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2020.08.31 18:32 IdolA31Aug1l N-ew Hu-ge Ti-ts Po-rn f-or Co-mics Popular

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2020.08.29 02:09 Airadel77 Looking for mature/Romance Manga with lots of kissing, etc! (Please read)

Hey all so I'm looking for some reccomendations for some new romance mangas, a few things I'm looking for in the mangas;
Mangas Similar to the Ones below that I've read would be nice!;
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2020.08.25 20:34 MikeJesus The birds hate me for what I have done

I have made a powerful enemy.
There’s approximately eighty thousand pigeons that roost within Prague city limits. They roam through the farmer’s markets looking for drops of food, they sit on the Art Noveau windowsills that loom near the city center, every figure of Czech history who has been rewarded with a statue is also rewarded with a pigeon patron who will sit and shit on top of their heads for all eternity. Every inch of the city is filled with those gray birds.
But not today.
As the farmer’s markets get set up the peddlers mumble to themselves about the surprising lack of avian companionship. The twilight commuters look up at the bare windowsills and try to figure out what has changed in the architecture of the city overnight. The layer of droppings on Winston Churchill’s head is at least a day old. This morning, as the city slowly rustles awake to the midi tones of cellphone alarms, the pigeons are gathering outside of the main train station.
They’re here because of me.
The birds hate me for what I have done.
For weeks I have only traveled by night, for weeks I have been avoiding the inevitable, for weeks I had hoped they would simply forget. But they didn’t and I know they won’t. The birds will not let me live freely until I pay for what I have done.
I set out this morning to bring the feud to rest, but as I emerge out of the subway and see what awaits me beyond the Plexiglas windows I get second thoughts. The park outside the automatic doors of the train station has been swallowed up in feathers. From the sea of gray, hateful beads of crimson stare at me. They’re waiting.
There’s two bags filled with Bohemia Bakery croissants in my hands. I can’t control the shaking. I can’t deny the inevitable. As the loudspeakers squawk out announcements of delays in a dozen muffled languages I can’t help but to think about how I got here.
-
There has to be a better word for it than break-up. We were engaged for the better part of a year, sharing a bed for five, dating for seven. A break-up sounds like a cracked plate, a minor inconvenience, something that you shrug off and carry on with your life. What happened between Julia and me was a multi-ton hydrogen bomb.
She said I never introduce her to work friends. So I did. I introduced her to the IT guy who I would occasionally grab beers with after work. She got to know him more intimately than I ever did. Much more intimately.
Suddenly, the person who was my one constant over the past seven years was telling me we could still be friends. Suddenly, the comfortable pad in the center that was affordable from two paychecks was replaced by a five person flat share in the housing projects. Suddenly, I couldn’t show my face in the office anymore.
He set up the remote-work software on my laptop. It took fifteen minutes but that moment dragged on for eternity. He mumbled an apology. My hand tightened into a fist, the uncapped pen on my desk gleamed with sharpness but I remained impotent. He regularly went to the gym. I didn’t.
When he finished the set-up he offered me his hand and without thinking I shook it. I even mumbled a “Thank you.”
I wanted to rip off my tongue and throw it out for the birds to devour.
Working from home was impossible. Not only was I in the midst of a personal cataclysm, but my four roommates had social lives so loud and amorous that they seeped through the paper-thin walls every second of the day. Whenever they brought someone home there was no escape from the echoes of lovemaking. I knew that back in my old apartment, in that cozy flat in the center, Julia was screaming the IT guy’s name. I had been with her for long enough to be able to imagine it all so vividly.
I needed to get out of that house.
-
‘Bohemia Bakery croissants, that’s a good treat right there, brother.’ The voice, followed by a familiar smell of distillates and festering bandages, drags me back into the present moment. Outside, the congregation of pigeons is slowly growing. In front of me, a Prague train station vagrant. ‘Got a lot of those croissants there, brother. Mind helping a hungry fella out?’
He looks like he’s been through a war-zone, his tattered rags the uniform of an army that loses in perpetuity. Beyond the Plexiglas the pigeons stare. I give the homeless man one of the croissants. I do this partially out of human kindness, but mainly in hopes that the pigeons see that I am not a monster, that the pigeons take pity on me.
The sea of beady eyes doesn’t flinch. They don’t care.
‘God bless, brother, God bless,’ the vagrant says as he starts to walk away. He stops. After considering the crowd of pigeons he turns back to me. ‘A lot of pigeons, eh? God bless, brother.’
He sets off towards the doors and I know I should follow him. I know it’s time for me to pay the price for my sins. I know there is no other way to get rid of the birds. But my legs are frozen.
When the homeless man is a couple of steps away from me a dark thought enters my mind. Maybe I can trick the pigeons into taking their revenge on someone else. They’re pigeons, how smart can they be? I open my mouth to yell out to him –
I want to give him another croissant. I want to suggest he take both the bags of offerings. I want to make him the target of the avian hatred.
But before I can vocalize my offer the plan falls apart.
The vagrant walks past the automatic doors into the park outside. The pigeons pay him no mind; he is completely invisible to them. They’re here for me and they’re getting impatient.
As the automatic doors grind to a close three pigeons fly into the station. I reach into my Bohemia Bakery bag and start turning croissants into crumbs between my fingers. The birds are getting restless.
-
Walking into the Bohemia Bakery on Michalská Street and setting up my laptop for a day of excel scrolling was a completely arbitrary decision. There’s hundreds of corporate owned coffee shops in Prague that have stable wi-fi and inoffensive Spotify playlists for ambience. I ended up there completely by accident. Yet as soon as I got settled I knew I wouldn’t be leaving any time soon.
Bohemia Bakery had all the makings of a coffee shop office. The refreshments were cheap enough to be drunk without a second thought, the neighborhood was safe enough to quell any fears about my laptop being stolen and the majority of the customers were locals. I have no qualms with tourists or immigrants, but American clientele does have a tendency to turn their private conversations into public three act plays. The chatter in the coffee shop was limited to complaint-filled grumbles, as is Czech custom.
The good work environment that Bohemia Bakery provided, however, was completely irrelevant to why I kept on coming there day after day. From the moment I saw her my visits to Bohemia Bakery ceased to be work related. I kept on coming back for Bára.
I was in a dark place. Every other morning I woke up to messages that I had sent to Julia in the middle of the night and forgotten about.
“I’m scared I’ll forget the smell of you.” “You’re a scab I can’t stop picking.” “Remember when we made love in the mountains?”
The response was always the same:
“Jesus, Mark, stop sending me these weird messages.”
The texts were desperate attempts to change her mind about moving on. Somewhere, in the depths of my soul, I was still sixteen and believed that one poetic message could turn back the clock on years of a stagnant relationship. I was sick with heartbreak, there was no one out who could make me happy like Julia did. The moment I saw Bára I knew that was a lie.
She made the question “Cash or card?” sound like a line of sensuous poetry pried from the throats of love-struck bards. When she prepared orders she didn’t move like a twenty-year-old barista, she floated behind her counter like a goddess examining the offerings that were being burnt in her temple. That unflattering gray and gold uniform that Bohemia Bakery would force on their employees to wear looked downright erotic on her. God forbid when the milquetoast music the coffee shop had turned to something with an actual beat. If there weren’t any customers Bára would quietly dance.
I tried not to stare. I wasn’t very good at that.
She didn’t mind. The moment when she winked at me I knew I was in love.
I stayed in the coffee shop for much longer than my job demanded. When I was around her all thoughts of Julia seemed absurd. Bára kept on smiling and winking and occasionally she would stick out her pierced tongue at me. After a week of nervously sneaking peeks at the coffee shop Venus I asked her out. After her shift was over we went to sit down in a nearby park.
There are so many parts of that night that have made themselves permanent in my memory; the way her hand slipped into mine before we even reached the park, the smell of cherry blossom and bubble gum that stemmed from her neck, the way her piercing clinked against my nervous teeth, the way she looked up at me when we made love. But none of the memories are as permanent in my head as the words she said when she threw out crumbs of stale croissants to the pigeons that gathered around us in the park.
“Ever looked a pigeon in the eyes? They’re angry creatures. And they talk. Always better to stay on their good side.”
-
Even as those tiny beaks pick at the droplets of dough scattered through the dirty tiles of the train station the pigeons keep their beady eyes locked on me.
There are more than a few of them now. The out-of-towners who come to Prague for work from the countryside are keeping the automatic doors opened wide. For each person that leaves the train station a pigeon sneaks its way in. The people might be leaving for different jobs but the aim of the birds is singular. Their aim is revenge.
An Uber Eats driver waiting for his next order plays a beautiful melody on one of the pianos that the city council has strewn across the city. He stops as I walk by him. The procession of pigeons behind me is impossible to ignore.
People keep on looking at me. I’m sweating. I know what’s coming. I know that there’s only so long that the pigeons are willing to wait for justice. I know how this all ends.
But still, there’s a part of me that wants to ignore the reality of my situation. Out of habit I take out my phone and text Julia.
“There’s a group of pigeons chasing me through the train station. They mean me harm. Help!”
-
Her living situation could have been better. Bára shared her two bedroom flat with three other girls from her hometown. On most nights the only thing that kept our lovemaking sessions out of Bára’s roommate’s eye-line was the sheet we draped from the bookshelf.
She moved out from the countryside with her three bestest friend to go live the crazy, cosmopolitan life out in the capital. I don’t think Bára’s roommate felt very cosmopolitan on the nights I stayed over.
There were also the pigeons. The mattress that Bára slept on was propped up against the window to the balcony and every morning I would wake up to the cooing of sky-rats. They usually managed to catch me about fifteen minutes before my alarm clock went off, and they were a gentler welcome to the waking world than the blaring of midi tones off my phone, but the constant cooing definitely made the Sunday morning cuddles less romantic.
Pigeons and roomates aside, the first couple months of our relationship went smoothly. All thoughts of Julia floated away. I felt no need to send her weird texts or obsess over whether she was still thinking about me. I was just enjoying my Bohemian Bakery beauty.
An old classmate of Bára’s came to visit. She knew all about me, Bára had spent the past couple of weeks preparing this girl to meet her “Super cool boyfriend” and whilst meeting a person who knew more about me than I knew about them would have intimidated me back when I was dating Julia, I didn’t mind by then. I had grown into my role. I didn’t know what made me cool or even what made Bára like me so much, but after months of living in my new, lucky reality I stopped questioning it.
Bára stole a couple of bottles of wine from the bakery and invited me over to get drunk with the rest of the apartment. I had the most minor of moral qualms about Bára’s theft, but after a couple of glasses my dislike of stealing became a purely hypothetical topic rather than an actual source of bother. I listened to the four girls drunkenly tell stories from the countryside.
‘Holy shit,’ Bára’s visiting friend said after the fourth bottle of wine had been drained, ‘We’re the only ones from our graduating class who don’t have any kids yet.’
I laughed. Hard. I was etching towards my early thirties and the thought of producing offspring seemed like something that wouldn’t happen for a long, long time. The idea that somewhere out in the countryside people were getting married at twenty seemed absurd to me.
As I laughed Bára kept her glass pressed to her lips. She drained it, poured another and topped me off in the process. We drank more. The other roommates went out clubbing. I was left alone with Bára and her visiting friend. We drank more. The three of us got drunk enough to lay down on the mattress.
One moment I was splashing water on my face trying to sober up and the next I tasted a kiss drenched in menthol cigarettes and red wine. The tongue that was caressing mine felt different. There was no piercing.
I opened up my eyes in terror realizing that I was not kissing my girlfriend. Bára’s friend looked up at me sheepishly. A familiar hand ran down my back.
‘It’s okay honey, it’s not like we’re married yet, we can share.’
I woke up with a horrible hangover the next day, it felt like my eyes were about to pop out of my skull and take everything I had ever eaten in the past 24 hours along with them, but the two naked bodies next to me assured me that my pain was temporary.
Overall, my life was good. With the help of the gentle cooing from the balcony I went back to sleep.
Then things changed.
We were sitting on the tram riding out to the farmer’s market to grab something to eat. There was a lull in the conversation, the type of lull where you throw out a random observation or a Facebook article headline in hopes of having something to talk about. She mentioned it as if it was the most casual thing in the world, as if it wasn’t a matter of any importance at all.
‘Missed my period three days ago.’
-
I think the lady at the ticket office is calling animal control. There’s a good thirty pigeons behind me now.
I have been mobbed by them before. Back in the early days, before I knew they were after me, they’d chase me while I was going out for groceries, or out drinking. There would always be a confused driver or a subway to help me escape. I have never tried to face the pigeons.
I start making my way towards the doors. This charade has been going on for long enough. I try to trick myself into believing that the pigeons will go easy on me, that they won’t really hurt me.
Yet as I walk towards the automatic doors one of the birds jumps up and pecks at my jeans.
Those beaks are sharp. Sharp enough to give me second thoughts. Sharp enough to make me think that maybe the solution to my qualm with the pigeons is to pack up and move.
I try to think of a country without pigeons, I can’t, but I presume there is one. There has to be one.
Deciding to move my life instead of paying for what I’ve done, I start making my way down into the subway. They follow.
But that’s fine. I convince myself that’s fine. As soon as the subway is about to arrive I can just break into a sprint and hop on. No way all thirty of them can follow me. Worst case scenario I’ll be locked up in a metal tube with two or three angry pigeons. I could take those on if needed.
I have killed pigeons before. Well, theoretically at least.
-
We didn’t talk about it. Well, we did, but not really.
‘Missed my period three days ago.’
‘Oh shit.’
‘Oh, don’t worry.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yeah.’
Then we moved on to talking about something else. For the whole day there was no discussion of Bára’s potential pregnancy, but from the moment that she mentioned it a cold sweat broke over me. Somewhere in the back of my head I started to imagine her as a lifelong partner.
I didn’t like what I saw.
What I once thought of as a face of perfection was now just a disparate collection of sharp facial features with crooked teeth. Her voice, her laugh, it all droned in my ears in a horrible, annoying way.
I tried to remind myself not to be shallow, not to judge the woman who I had been dating for nearly half a year based on her looks. That made the situation significantly worse.
As we were walking around the farmer’s market Bára started eating a sandwich. I knew that she didn’t buy it. I knew that she didn’t bring one. I knew she stole it.
Bára liked to steal shit. I didn’t mind her swiping stuff from the bakery, didn’t have empathy to spare for corporate owned franchises, but Bára stealing stuff from old folks got under my skin.
‘Hey, where did you get that sandwich?’
‘Found it on the floor. Ha-ha!’
She gave me a smile and a wink. I started to miss Julia again.
By the time we got back home the feverish dislike that I was starting to develop for Bára had turned physical. My head throbbed with some horrible strain of the flu that had crept into my system. I considered going home, but Bára assured me that the wave of fatigue I was feeling was just sleep deprivation. All I needed to do was take a nap and I’d be right as rain. I was too tired to argue.
By late afternoon I was fading in and out of consciousness on Bára’s mattress as she piled more and more blankets on top of me.
‘Ah, c’mon, just sweat it out babe. Quit complaining, you’re a real man, aren’t you?’
Her voice cut through my migraine like the stolen cutlery she had in her kitchen. What made the sickness induced delirium so much worse were the pigeons on the balcony. They just kept on cooing. Even as I drifted off into frenzied fever dreams I could sense their dirty, feathered bodies rustling behind the paper-thin walls.
‘What if I actually am pregnant?’ I heard a voice ask out of the darkness. I was far too deep in the sweaty, lethargic limbo to identify the source but through context clues I figured out who was asking. I pretended to be asleep.
‘What if I actually am pregnant?’ Bára asked, again, this time prodding me with her frigid foot.
I let loose a torrent of mucus filled coughs, hoping to dissuade her from trying to talk to me. It didn’t work. Her cold toes ran across my burning abdomen.
‘Mark, what if I actually am pregnant?’ She asked, sweetly.
‘Can we talk about this tomorrow?’ I groaned.
‘Sure,’ she hissed with the intensity of a silenced pistol.
Bára’s roommate was snoring, the pigeons outside were cooing and just as I started to get used to the jarring soundscape of the bedroom Bára started to sob next to me.
I pretended to be asleep, and eventually, I was.
-
I make my way down the stairs to the subway platform with dreams of escape glowing in my heart.
I could grow a shitty beard and live in some cabin in the woods, or lounge around on some exotic beach, or I could be freezing my ass of in the arctic. The only important thing is getting on that subway and riding off to somewhere where there are no flying rats that demand vengeance.
The screeching of metal. Below me, the subway has just arrived. I hold on tight to the railing and start jumping down the stairs two at a time. I’m praying that the doors of the train will stay open long enough for me to make my escape.
Some of the birds stop hopping down the stairs and ascend into flight. The feathers of the pigeons fit right into the metallic gray of the subway station in the worst possible way.
There’s a new mom who doesn’t quite know how to handle a stroller stalling the doors to the subway. I still have a chance, I can still run in and make my escape – but just as I am descending the last three steps towards the platform one of those beady eyed vermin dives straight at me.
I lift my hand off the rail to shoo the pigeon away, shifting my balance. Suddenly, I’m falling. Suddenly, my head crashes against the concrete. Suddenly, I’m back on my feet, running towards the subway, screaming past the burning pain that has materialized in my ankle.
I slam into the closed doors. Everyone on the train stares at me and my bizarre pursuers in horror. Except for the baby. The baby points and giggles and laughs from its carriage as the train slowly rumbles into life and disappears in the dark tunnel.
The next train is coming in eight minutes.
I’m at the edge of the platform and there’s a good fifty pigeons staring at me.
-
‘Jesus, you’re still here?’
I woke up to the sound of Bára’s roommate angrily stomping around the bedroom. My fever was gone, but somehow it had managed to carry me into the late afternoon.
‘It smells like a frigging sex dungeon here dude. Least you could have done was pop open a window.’ She towers over me, eyes filled with disgust, as she cracks open the balcony windows. ‘And you should definitely talk to Bára. It’s none of my business but when she left to work today she was… Gross! Eeew!’
‘Gross?’ I sat up on the mattress. The roommate didn’t look at me, she just kept on staring out of the window. ‘Bára was… gross?’
‘No, you idiot. Look outside. No wonder those birds have been waking us up every morning. There’s a goddamn nest on the balcony.’
As soon as the moist covers slid off me the dizzying stench of sweat overpowered any amount of fresh air coming in from the window. Bára’s roommate jumped back in disgust and with a barrage of comments about how disgusting I am, she left.
Among the discarded plastic bags and cigarette butts there was a roughly picked home of straw. In it there were three little eggs that looked like dirty oversized tic-tacs.
Bára’s roommate pressed a broom into my hand.
‘Go.’
‘Go where?’
‘Go push that shit off the roof. They carry diseases, you know.’
‘Why me?’
‘Why you? Because you’re a frigging man, act like it.’
Memories of the IT guy setting up my remote working software crawled through the back of my head. I grabbed the broom and went out to the balcony, intent on proving my masculinity. All I had to do was just push the nest off into the street below and Bára’s roommate would get off my back.
Yet as soon as I got outside on the terrace I realized I wasn’t alone. On the neighbor’s windowsill, just a meter or two away from the nest, was a pigeon. The bird’s feathers were fuller than any other pigeon that I had ever seen, it’s eyes shone in a blood red, hateful glow. This was no ordinary pigeon.
And it was watching me.
I moved up the broom to the edge of the nest, but my arms froze. Something about that animal’s blank expression was telling me that I was about to take a step into a world from which I could not return, something was telling me that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life. An ancient, Hammurabi-era truth loomed behind those red orbs.
An eye for an eye, A tooth for a tooth, You harm my young and we will harm yours,
The front door opened. I could hear Bára’s tired voice.
‘Is my man still here?’
‘Yeah, your middle management looking dude is out on the balcony, trying to work up the balls to get rid of a pigeon nest,’ I heard her roommate say.
The passive aggressive insult didn’t even register with me. I was lost in the showdown with the pigeon. Those eyes meant business, and that beak looked sharp enough to break the skin.
I could pick up the nest and take it outside, I could put it in a tree, I could google how to deal with this situation, there were so many things that I could have done but, before I knew it, there was a pair of cold hands wrapped around the broom. Bára pressed her body against mine and before I knew it the broom did its job.
The pigeon’s eyes went wide. Like a paper airplane covered in gravel the nest tumbled down into the street with the gentlest crunch. Within seconds it went from being a bastion of blossoming life to being some leash-less dog’s dinner.
‘Come inside. We need to talk.’ No kiss. She was angry.
The pigeon’s eyes were still locked on the crushed eggs running over the pavement. A wave of self-loathing washed through my chest. It was time for an apology.
I cleared my throat. The pigeon’s eyes quickly darted back to me. That wide-eyed expression of shock quickly faded away. The balls of red that dwelled in the creature’s skull turned into focused, hate-filled dots.
“Look, I’m so-“
The bird launched at my tongue.
-
My avian predicament catches the attention of a group of Chinese tourists gathered on the other side of the platform. For a split second the shuttering of cameras rises above the cooing, but as the pigeons get closer the clicks and flashes became imperceptible static.
The pigeons have me cornered. I’ve started throwing the croissants from Bohemia Bakery at them wholesale, but for every pigeon I distract there are five more that are thirsty for blood. They’re thirsty for revenge.
The birds hate me for what I have done.
With my back up against a map of the Prague subway system I look up at the ‘Next arrival’ board. The red numbers glare: five minutes thirty-six seconds and counting.
I fire off another text to Julia:
The birds will punish me for what I have done.”
I look out into the sea of gray and see a familiar set of red dots. The bird who’s children I killed leads the march.
I don’t have five minutes. I don’t even have thirty-six seconds.
Wings flutter, the birds take flight. With closed eyes I pray that my punishment will be swift.
It isn’t.
My skin burns with blood as the razor beaks bite into me. My hands barely cover my eyes as the pigeons try to claw at my face. They drag at my hair, they tear at my clothes, they peck at my jeans.
My agony reaches incomprehensible heights. With each bite of flesh they take, however, a sliver of my consciousness fades away. Before the pigeons get to the worst part of their punishment, I black out.
-
We sat in her kitchen; me, pressing a packet of frozen peas to my tongue and her, nursing a cigarette lit off the stove. Smoke drifted from her nostrils as if she was a passive-aggressive dragon.
‘Thanku, don’t kno wha got into that brd.’ My numb, bleeding tongue didn’t get my point across very eloquently but Bára understood what I meant. Those hazel eyes burrowed into me, watching every twitch in my face.
‘Not pregnant,’ she finally said, ‘Had my period this morning.’
‘Tha’s grea!’ I yelled, sending a trickle of iron into my mouth. I grinned. That was the first good news I heard all day.
She wasn’t smiling.
‘What if I actually was pregnant?’ She took a drag and looked away from me. Whatever nuanced reaction my face made wasn’t to her liking.
The conversation dragged on into eternity and at each turn I said the wrong things. Even if my mouth wasn’t slowly filling up with blood, even if my tongue didn’t have a beak-imposed lisp, I don’t think I could have salvaged that relationship.
I didn’t notice the bird at first, but as soon as I became aware of him it was impossible to fully focus on what Bára was saying. Right behind her, with my blood on his beak, was my red-eyed enemy. Soon friends joined him. The longer Bara and me spoke, the bigger our audience got.
Those beady eyes burnt with hatred.
I left the apartment, newly single, with blood in my mouth and a toothbrush in my pocket, and started making my way towards the bus station. I was about to fire off a text to Julia to let her know I was still in love with her but before I could unblock her number-
Peck!
Something small and sharp snapped at my scalp. The flock of enraged pigeons descended me from the windowsills of the Soviet-era housing projects. If there wasn’t a subway station nearby I probably would have lost an eye.
At first I had hoped that the assault from the pigeons was simply a rare occurrence of an angry parent, yet they followed me everywhere. For months I lived my life in fear, desperately hoping that they would tire of chasing me, but it became clear that the birds would not leave me alone.
They wouldn’t leave me alone until I paid the price.
-
I keep staring out of the window. This makes the doctor visibly uncomfortable. He tells me about how my body was rushed into surgery, about how there is a good chance I have contracted a fair amount of diseases, about all of the permanent damage that the pigeons had inflicted on me, but I just keep looking out of the window.
I had an educated guess on the extent of the pigeon’s revenge.
An eye for an eye, A tooth for a tooth, You harm my young and I will harm yours,
The doctor eventually gives up on trying to elicit a reaction out of me and leaves me alone in my room. And I am alone. The windowsill is empty. The pigeons have had their revenge.
I breathe out a sigh of pained relief.
Ding!
I get a text from someone who makes my heart flutter.
I look back at the conversation.
ME – 5:16AM: “There’s a group of pigeons chasing me through the main train station. They mean me harm. Help!” ME – 5:24AM: “The Birds will punish me for what I have done.” JULIA – 7:02PM: “What???”
In the stillness of the hospital room I type out my reply, my explanation. As soon as my scarred thumbs punch the words into reality a weight is lifted off my chest. A chapter of my life has ended. I am free now.
Ding!
ME – 7:02PM: “It’s okay. The pigeons have punished me for my misdeeds. I am scarred and will never be able to have children, but I am a free man. I love you.” JULIA – 7:03PM: “Jesus Mark, stop sending me these messages.”
submitted by MikeJesus to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.07.22 10:08 heply2422JJul Real Life Fu-ck Do-ll Por-n

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submitted by heply2422JJul to Home_Made_Fun [link] [comments]


2020.06.25 17:01 JoseiToAoiTori Celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride Month With These Anime!

June is LGBTQ+ Pride Month and here in Helsinki, we have Pride Week in the final week of June. Regardless of where you live, Pride Month is a time for increased visibility of LGBTQ+ people and with that intent in mind, I came up with this Compilation Watch This Thread for anime featuring characters that fall under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, organized by letters in LGBTQ.
Beware of spoilers beyond this point. These spoilers will reveal the queer identity of characters in various anime.

Anime With Lesbians

Yuri Kuma Arashi (Yuri Bear Storm)

Content Warning
Yurikuma Arashi is a direct critique of the idea that Girls' Love is pure and free of any sexual desire. The idea that lesbian love is a form of fleeting adolescent intimacy between girls allows people (often straight males) to indulge in a voyeuristic fantasy by stripping would-be lesbians of their sexuality and treating their intimacy as a platonic relationship that's merely service for onlookers. Yurikuma Arashi is a critique of how queer people are often commodified and their personal identities are drastically altered for the sake of conformity. The lesbians in Yurikuma Arashi express desire for the same sex (NSFW LINK) and this causes them to be excluded from the rest of society. Yurikuma Arashi is about stereotypes associated with lesbians and the pressure on them to conform to those stereotypes and how acceptance can break down oppressive hierarchies within a society that makes victims out of queer people.
Yurikuma Arashi can be streamed on Funimation.

Yagate Kimi ni Naru (Bloom Into You)

Bloom Into You is a recent anime and it's quickly asserted its position as one of the most influential works in the LGBTQ+ community. Yuu Koito, the protagonist of the anime is in love with the idea of love yet when a guy confesses to her, she realizes she's incapable of experiencing it herself. This changes when she meets Touko Nanami as both struggle to come to terms with their feelings for each other. Bloom Into You highlights how confusing your first relationship can be especially when you haven't quite figured yourself out yet.
Bloom Into You can be streamed on HIDIVE.

Aoi Hana (Sweet Blue Flowers)

Aoi Hana is about the struggles of being a young and confused lesbian. It's very down to earth with its portrayal of lesbian adolescence. Featuring a vibrant cast of characters, Aoi Hana is a go-to example for shows with explicit lesbian relationships.
Aoi Hana can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation. Description contributed by jayay112.

Simoun

Content warning
Lesbians going to war is an interesting premise to say the least. Simoun takes place in a reality where everyone is born female and chooses their permanent gender later on but in doing so, they lose the ability to fly the 'Simoun' which are aircrafts piloted by lesbian couples. Simoun thus creates a setting where the government is a matriarchy and young lesbians are the ones with the ability to go to war.
Simoun is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release.

Oniisama e... (Brother, Dear Brother)

Content Warning
Oniisama e... is a darker iteration of a Class S Yuri drama created by the iconic team-up of Osamu Dezaki and Riyoko Ikeda, who were also responsible for Rose of Versailles. It opens with the main character, Nanako Misonoo, getting inexplicably inducted into a Sorority at a prestigious girls school, which immediately opens her up to the jealous ire of her classmates as well as dives her head first into the complicated web of relationships between the most powerful girls at the school. The show takes a thorough look on heavy topics like bullying and drug abuse, albeit with a melodratic yet highly entertaining and stylized presentation, and is worth a watch if you are in the mood for a heavy drama.
Oniisama e... is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release. Description contributed by AdiMG

Asagao to Kase-san (Kase-san and Morning Glories)

Kase-san is a short and sweet romance OVA that is effectively a sequence of vignettes depicting the relationship of two girls with contrasting personalities. With lots of sweet and sugary moments, Kase-san is a short watch that will leave you feeling satisfied.
Kase-san can be streamed on HIDIVE.

Fragtime

Content warning
Fragtime is a recently released OVA from the director of Kase-san, Takuya Satou, that once again follows two girls with contrasting personalities. However, there's a supernatural aspect this time where one of the girls has the ability to stop time once a day for 3 minutes but the other girl is the only one immune to her ability. This leads to a lot more intimate moments between them. The relationship in Fragtime is more sexual and turbulent than the one in Kase-san but it still retains the director's personal flair. Let's hope Takuya Satou keeps blessing us with adaptations of more yuri works.
Fragtime is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Flip Flappers

Flip Flappers is a lesbian coming-out story with a mahou shoujo aesthetic. It's also a super creative show with fantastic visuals. As a work that's somewhat obtuse and abstract, there's an aspect of plausible deniability to its events. On the other hand, Papika and Cocona's relationship is clearly more than friends. Much of Flip Flappers is about identity formation and self-discovery. Papika gets the opportunity to try out various versions of herself while Cocona struggles to actualize her feelings. In the end, Papika realizes that the version of herself that she likes the most is the one that's in love with Cocona. In her own way, Cocona also comes to the realization that she loves Papika. Flip Flappers shows how healthy queer relationships can be born out of identity reaffirmation and having a strong sense of self.
Flip Flappers can be streamed on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

Sailor Moon S

You're telling me an 90's children show had an openly homosexual couple? Get out of here! Yes, Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are a canonically lesbian couple. There's little to no plausible deniability to their relationship unlike some other queer people that appear throughout the series. Kunihiko Ikuhara has proved to be one of anime's most progressive directors and as an early work of his, Sailor Moon S is a shining example of his desire to give queer people more media representation. However, it should be noted that you need to get through the 2 earlier seasons of Sailor Moon before you get to S which is the third season.
Sailor Moon is available on Hulu. It also has a BD and DVD release.

Sasameki Koto (Whispered Words)

Whispered Words is a nice fluffy comedy that's about lesbians being comfortable around each other and having a lot of fun at school. It also has some light drama around the main character, who doesn't want to tell her best friend that she's in love with her. Overall, it's a very comfy show that makes for a very easy watch.
Sasameki Koto is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release. Description contributed by jayay112.

Strawberry Panic

Content Warning
Strawberry Panic is a 2000's anime set in an alliance of all-girls schools. Strawberry Panic takes its time explaining the governing of these schools. Throughout all the intrigue and personal drama, there's quite a few lesbian relationships strewn throughout the show but the cast is too large to do a good job at fleshing everyone out.
Strawberry Panic is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD and DVD release.

Hibike! Euphonium/Liz to Aoi Tori (Sound! Euphonium/Liz and the Blue Bird)

Hibike! Euphonium is a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to representation. Season 1 is applauded for its depiction of Kumiko and Reina's relationship while Season 2 is regarded as a betrayal of that relationship. Chikai no Finale, the sequel film, continues that status quo. However, Liz and the Blue Bird rebounds with its depiction of adolescent lesbian romance founded on mutual understanding and communication while establishing personal boundaries between two Hibike! side characters. Despite all its flaws, I recommend checking it out for the lesbian angst.
Hibike! Euphonium can be streamed on Crunchyroll.
Honourable Mentions: Akanesasu Shoujo, Maria-sama ga Miteru, Anima Yell, Revue Starlight, Diebuster, Kirakira☆Precure A La Mode, Oshi ga Budoukan Ittekuretara Shinu, Araburu Kisetsu no Otome-domo yo.

Anime With Gay Men

Yuri!!! on Ice

Talking about Yuri!!! on Ice in a write-up about pride and representation is inevitable. Sayo Yamamoto's work took the anime community by storm and introduced many people in the LGBTQ+ community to the anime/manga medium. It's one of the most successful anime original IPs to date and winner of multiple prestigious awards. Featuring a diverse and multicultural cast of characters around the globe, Yuri!!! on Ice is a sports anime about an unsuccessful figure skater on the verge of retirement getting the icon of the figure-skating world as his coach. Yuri!!! on Ice depicts a relationship between two men who gradually grow to care more about each other and overcome their weaknesses. Through Victor's help, Yuri is able to reinvent his image into one that's more assertive and less vulnerable than his previous persona. Another character, Yurio reinvents his image into one more traditionally feminine and vulnerable. Multiple characters have anxiety-fueled breakdowns and moments of weakness and despite that, they are accepted for who they are. Yuri!!! on Ice makes a statement that it's not wrong for men to be vulnerable or show weakness and that we all have different sides to ourselves that make up who we are. This denial of traditional gender roles and critique of toxic masculinity is what defines Yuri!!! on Ice and Sayo Yamamoto's personal outlook that's prevalent in all her works.
Yuri!!! on Ice can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Doukyuusei (Classmates)

Doukyuusei is a series of vignettes about the relationship between two classmates. Think Kase-san but with boys instead. It's fairly short and sweet while briefly touching on the difficulties of being homosexual in Japan.
Doukyuusei is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Given

Content warning
Given is a recent show that's notable for being a TV anime with explicit homosexual relationships. Revolving around a band with a mix of college and high school students, Given breathes life into the BL genre which can often be exploitative of gay men. BL in general needs more shows like Given to clear up the stigma that all BL is just fetish-bait.
Given can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Sarazanmai

Content warning
This list is full of Kunihiko Ikuhara works and Sarazanmai is his latest one. Aside from being another critique of oppressive societal structures, Sarazanmai features queer characters experimenting with their identity and an explicitly homosexual couple. More than anything, Sarazanmai is about the difficulty of loving someone of the same sex in a society where human connection and empathy put you at a disadvantage and the strong oppress the weak.
Sarazanmai can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Kono Danshi (This Boy) Franchise

Shoubi Yamamoto has been creating a series of short OVAs since 2011 at Makoto Shinkai's studio CoMix Wave Films, with each entry in the franchise being a short and sweet BL romance, often with adult characters. The stories are framed around supernatural twists that wouldn't be out of place in Monogatari or Bunny Girl Senpai, and despite their short runtime, these snippets ultimately leave the viewers satisfied at the end with their charming relationships and well-realized drama.
This Boy is a Professional Wizard and This Boy Suffers from Crystallization are available at Crunchyroll. This Boy Can Fight Aliens and This Boy Caught A Merman are available at HiDive. Description contributed by EyebrowScar and AdiMG.

No. 6

No. 6 is set in a post-war utopian world that isn't really a utopia but rather a society built on unjust peace. No. 6 highlights class differences and xenophobic attitudes while also featuring a gay relationship. Most of No. 6 plays out like a mystery with world-building rather than a romance but it's a good shout regardless.
No. 6 can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Banana Fish

Content Warning
Banana Fish is an influential 80's BL manga that has been adapted into an anime. The anime definitely feels like an 80's action flick. In many ways, it's a product of its time both in its depiction of abuse and its coy portrayal of Ash and Eiji's relationship.
Banana Fish can be streamed on Amazon Prime.

Mo Dao Zu Shi (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation)

Mo Dao Zu Shi is Chinese animation and by /anime's definition, does not qualify as anime. However, it's a BL by nature and takes place in the fictional Chinese setting of Wuxia where you have wizards and demons and the like. The show can be hard to follow and with its country of origin being China, you won't get anything explicit but there's a significant amount of undertones. Watch Mo Dao Zu Shi if you want a darker story with a backdrop of Chinese Martial Arts/Magic.
Mo Dao Zu Shi has no English release. However, it is getting a Japanese release soon.
Honourable Mention: Promare

Anime with Bisexual/Pansexual Characters

Shinsekai Yori (From the New World)

Content warning
Shinsekai Yori is a dystopia where psychic abilities in humans lead to widespread destruction until these humans are able to isolate themselves in a fragile peace. Shinsekai Yori follows the lives of a group of children as they uncover the truths and horrors of their world while also coming to terms with their own identities. Characters in Shinsekai Yori have explicit relationships with both sexes at different points and these relationships play an important role in the story.
Shinsekai Yori can be streamed on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

Kiznaiver

Kiznaiver isn't a show most people look back on very fondly. A TRIGGER anime with a script by Mari Okada, it's often cited as an example of when Okada goes overboard with her melodrama. However, it features a bisexual/pansexual character that receives her own character arc. The arc involves a same-sex relationship that's treated respectfully. The character gets into a heterosexual relationship later on. You could argue that it's queer erasure but I'd point at Okada's queer-friendly work, Hourou Musuko and tell you that this isn't the case. The character is either bi or pansexual.
Kiznaiver can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Hanamonogatari (Monogatari Series)

Monogatari is a straight harem for the most part and the bisexual character is part of that harem. However, there's an entire arc dedicated to her relationship with a girl and thus she's very explicitly established as a bisexual/pansexual character. The caveat of course is that this arc comes very late in the series.
Hanamonogatari can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

ACCA: 13-ku Kansatsu-ka (ACCA: 13-Territory Inspection Dept.)

ACCA flew under the radar when it aired despite being directed by the legendary Shingo Natsume It's a political drama with lots of intrigue but without any high-octane action or high-stakes battles. Instead, Jean Otus, the main character does inspections in different territories of the Kingdom of Dowa while highlighting their distinct cultures in the midst of rumours of a coup d'état. Jean is pretty gay for his buddy Nino but he's also taken in by Mauve. Though he doesn't get into any explicit relationship in the series, his behaviour definitely implies that he's bi or pansexual. At the very least, the show definitely gives you a lot of moments that imply that.
ACCA can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo

Gankutsuou is a 2000's anime that's inspired by the French novel in its name but is very much a retelling of that story. Particularly, I'm sure that the author would roll in his grave if he discovered how some of his characters were rewritten as queer. Gankutsuou features a bisexual character and for us bi people, that's a real fucking blessing honestly. We take the representation we get.
Gankutsuou can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Evangelion

Like some other works on this list, Evangelion's events are often obfuscated and much is left up to the viewer's interpretation. On the other hand, Shinji and Kaworu's relationship is an iconic aspect of Eva and since Shinji is also attracted to girls, he's definitely either bi or pansexual. While this isn't the aspect that would make most people get into Eva, it's definitely one that deserves to be mentioned.
Evangelion is available on Netflix. However, for various reasons, I recommend the BD or DVD release instead.

Anime with Transgender Characters

Hourou Musuko (Wandering Son)

Hourou Musuko is possibly the most important work on this list in regards to LGBTQ+ issues. It directly confronts the struggle of trans teenagers with gender dysphoria and how uncomfortable one can feel in their own body. Hourou Musuko can be difficult to watch because of how it painstakingly depicts the anguish of its characters all struggling with conflicting feelings but that's exactly what makes it such a good show. Life is difficult when you're forced to wear clothes you don't want to wear and your body and voice develop in ways that make you feel at odds with your own identity. The things that cisgender people take for granted can be hell for people born in the wrong body and Hourou Musuko is a step towards understanding that.
Hourou Musuko can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Tokyo Godfathers

Content Warning
Tokyo Godfathers is a classic film by Satoshi Kon. It plays out like your standard Christmas film with a series of coincidences leading to wacky and humorous situations. It's also a heartwarming story about the importance of found family, a family that includes a transgender character that wants to be a mother. Hana is portrayed in a positive light as a trans character that's very much part of the found family in Tokyo Godfathers. Possibly the most empathetic character in the whole film, Hana drives most of the plot. Tokyo Godfathers portrays the harsh life of homeless people and the fact that one of these homeless people is transgender is important because of the disproportionate number of homeless transgender people around the world.
Tokyo Godfathers is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD and DVD release.

Paradise Kiss

Content Warning
Paradise Kiss is a 2000's josei anime about the romance between an aspiring model and fashion design student. The characters wear all sorts of fabulous clothes but the most fabulous of them all is a trans girl called Isabella. ParaKiss depicts the importance of trans acceptance and how important it can be for trans people to wear the clothes that they want to wear. As most of ParaKiss is about expressing oneself through clothes and making clothes that suit the person, Isabella's attire downright makes her an icon for femininity.
Paradise Kiss is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release.

Stop!! Hibari-kun!

While this is a slapstick comedy where the main character is referred to as a cross-dresser rather than explicitly transgender, it comes very close to genuine trans rep. It might even be one of the first anime/manga works with trans rep. Hibari is implied to be identifying as a girl and the male lead eventually realizes that he is in love with the Hibari who presents as female but is biologically male. The mangaka also stated that the character was created out of their own frustration for not being born as a girl. While there are naturally caveats that you'd expect from an 80's work, Hibari is never the butt of any jokes and actively fights back against transphobic remarks. Although Stop!! Hibaru-kun! (note the -kun, even the title genders Hibari) was progressive for its time, it stands to be repeated that it is quite dated by today's standards. Nevertheless, if you're up for it, it's still one of the few well-intentioned depictions of a trans-coded character in anime.
Stop!! Hibari-kun! is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release.

Lovely★Complex

Lovely Complex is a shoujo romcom about two characters (a tall woman and a short man) who are uncomfortable with their height. While most of the show is about them getting past their complex to form a relationship, there's also a trans character that falls in love with the main guy. She insists that God just put her in the wrong body and even though her love is unrequited, she is treated with respect.
Lovely Complex can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Zombieland Saga

Zombieland Saga has a fairly outlandish premise and for the most part, it's also a pretty outlandish show. Most people that watched it probably still remember the more bizarre moments from the show or Mamoru Miyano's performance as the Manager. Zombieland Saga is a fun ride in the beginning but it gradually gets more stale as it goes on. However, it depicts a transgender character literally dying and becoming a zombie due to gender dysphoria. Lily's trans identity was initially vehemently denied by anime fans and blamed on translators but since then, she's been accepted as a legitimate and positive portrayal of a transgender character in anime.
Zombieland Saga can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Anime with Queer People/Queer Identities

Shoujo Kakumei Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

Content Warning
Utena is a landmark work in the LGBTQ+ community. It's Kunihiko Ikuhara's first work where he directly addresses the systemic oppression of queer people in society and the hierarchical structures that feed on the impoverished. The show constantly eludes to a revolution that can 'change the world' (empowerment for women and racial/sexual minorities) and as the show goes on, it progressively becomes less obtuse and more explicit in what that revolution is and who the real oppressors really are. The show includes many queer characters with tragic backgrounds. Often, their identities have been altered or taken away from them by toxic and oppressive people in their lives. The relationship between Utena and Anthy starts out as rather vague and confusing as Ikuhara obfuscates the events in the show but ends decisively on a strong note.
Utena can be streamed on Funimation.

Versailles no Bara (Rose of Versailles)

Set during the French Revolution, Rose of Versailles is an old classic that has much to offer in not just its queer rep but also in its depiction of historical events. An important work in its portrayal of gender-queer characters of different sexualities and subversion of traditional gender roles, it's also considered the inspiration and precursor for Revolutionary Girl Utena, a show also on this list. Regardless of how you feel about its more dated aspects, its influence on other queer anime/manga is undeniable. I highly recommend checking this one out if you haven't.
Rose of Versailles is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a remastered BD release and a DVD release.

Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine

Content warning
Before going on to make Yuri!!! on Ice, Sayo Yamamoto directed two other series where she had full creative control. One of them was Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine. Sayo Yamamoto reinvents Fujiko Mine as a more nuanced character with agency of her own while reworking her relationships with the men around her to be much more interesting. Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine has been praised for tackling silenced queer narrative and features a more queer-coded depiction of many of its characters.
Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Hoshiai no Sora (Stars Align)

Content Warning
I've written at length about Hoshiai no Sora before. Hoshiai features one of the most honest and down-to-earth portrayals of a non-binary character you can find in anime and how important it can be to have your feelings validated by someone you care about.
Hoshiai no Sora can be streamed on Funimation.

Ribbon no Kishi (Princess Knight)

Princess Knight is a 50's manga penned by Osamu Tezuka and it's usually one of the first cited examples of queer manga. It also has an anime adaptation with a mere 700 MAL members at the time of writing this. Dated visuals aside, Princess Knight is another gender-queer work about a baby being born with 2 hearts (gender identities) and thus, the 'Princess Knight' dresses as both male and female at different points throughout the story. The narrative plays with gender roles and queer relationships while also acknowledging the hetero-normative society it is set in. It's a remarkable work for its time and one that deserves to be remembered as a major milestone for anime/manga.
Princess Knight is available to stream on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Ouran Koukou Host Club (Ouran High School Host Club)

Ouran Host Club is a 2000's shoujo classic that plays out like a parody of shoujo tropes. Its comedy holds up even today although some aspects of it do feel quite dated. For a 2000's show though, Ouran was much more progressive than a lot of shows even today. The main character, Haruhi Fujioka cross-dresses and defies gender expectations by using masculine pronouns and entertaining other girls who visit the Host Club in a boys uniform. Haruhi is pretty unconcerned with what gender she is viewed as and most of her interactions with the Host Club boys happen while she is crossdressing.
Ouran Host Club can be streamed on Funimation.

Hugtto! Precure

The PreCure franchise has often featured intimate relationships between characters of the same sex. Some of these have been more explicit than others. Hugtto! PreCure, winner of the 2019 /anime Awards had a biologically male, gender-fluid character transform into the first male Cure in the history of the franchise. Hugtto! Precure makes a statement that boys can be princesses too and pushes back against the gendered concept of a magical girl in a franchise that's often dismissed as being for little girls.
Hugtto! Precure is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Cardcaptor Sakura

Cardcaptor Sakura is a 90's mahou shoujo classic that was well ahead of its time. Characters in CCS express interest in people of both genders. There's also quite a bit of crossdressing and a canonically gay couple later on. Characters in CCS defy gender stereotypes and this leads to one of the most nuanced and human character writing you can find in mahou shoujo anime. It's a fun ride all the way through that's really worth a watch.
Cardcaptor Sakura can be streamed on Netflix, Crunchyroll, Funimation and Amazon Prime.

Houseki no Kuni (Land of the Lustrous)

The gems in Houseki no Kuni are gendered by the community because they're voiced by female seiyuu. However, they're fairly androgynous for the most part and don't really fall under either classification. Much of Houseki revolves around Phosphophyllite's desire to rebuild themselves anew and a dissatisfaction with the body they were born with. Houseki no Kuni is a full CG anime but the CG is quite excellent, leading to bombastic set pieces that would be difficult to do hand-drawn.
Houseki no Kuni can be streamed on Amazon Prime and HIDIVE.

Kino no Tabi (Kino's Journey)

Kino from Kino no Tabi is an androgynous character that uses both pronouns at different points in the story. Kino's actual gender identity is left ambiguous but they're either gender-fluid or non-binary. Indeed, Kino doesn't have to identify as either gender when they're already a self-identified traveler. As an impartial observer, Kino does not wish to interfere with the affairs of countries they visit. Kino no Tabi is a fairly episodic albeit darker slice of life about how harsh and beautiful the world can be.
Kino no Tabi can be streamed on HIDIVE. Please spare yourself from watching the 2017 remake.

Gatchaman Crowds

Gatchaman Crowds is a fairly niche sentai show with explicitly queer and queer-coded characters. As a whole, it's certainly an acquired taste for people who aren't into the whole tokutatsu/sentai subculture. It's a campy show for the most part with some underlying social commentary so give it a try and see if it's to your liking.
Gatchaman Crowds can be streamed on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

11-nin Iru! (They Were Eleven)

They Were Eleven is a gripping locked room mystery written by one of the pioneers of Shoujo manga, Moto Hagio. It uses its sci-fi setting to explore various societal conceptions of gender, but the most culturally enduring has to be her description of Frol. Frol hails from a planet without any concept of pre-pubescent gender but the planet's people are assigned a gender role later on in their life. Frol rails against their planet's customs and instead identifies as male despite their feminine presentation. The potent gender politics add another layer of tension to the already simmering plot of an underrated 80s movie.
They Were Eleven is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release. Description provided by AdiMG.

Samurai Flamenco

Samurai Flamenco is another fairly niche sentai/tokutatsu show that's more of a meta take on the genre. Samumenco is a bizarre show with a very specific comedy style that you will either love or hate. It's also very queer-coded and includes explicit same-sex relationships.
Samurai Flamenco can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Kuragehime (Princess Jellyfish)

Kuragehime revolves around a group of female otaku NEETs living a communal life. The main character has an encounter with a beautiful woman who really isn't a woman but actually a cross-dressing man named Kuranosuke. Kuranosuke identifies as male but frequently cross-dresses. Kuragehime contrasts the more androgynous Kuranosuke who possesses both masculine and feminine characteristics with the main character, Kurashita Tsukimi. Kuragehime poses a question of whether it's possible for people like Tsukimi to transform into a beautiful princess like Kuranosuke does and whether they can overcome their anxiety and lack of self-esteem to find happiness.
Kuragehime can be streamed on Funimation.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun is a romcom anime that parodies shoujo manga and its tropes. It plays on the gendered expectations of shoujo manga and makes fun of them by having its characters behave in a manner that defies those expectations. Kashima Yuu regularly flirts with other girls although she's actively into her male senpai. Seo Yuzuki regularly behaves in a boyish manner. In a vacuum, this behaviour isn't remarkable but when it's contrasted with gender expectations in shoujo manga, it leads to hilarious fourth wall breaking moments.

Beyond Anime: Shimanami Tasogare

Manga can be a fairly diverse medium and has many queer stories that haven't yet been adapted into anime. While this is an anime subreddit, I can't help but mention Shimanami Tasogare (Our Dreams at Dusk), a work that encapsulates why representation is important for queer people and why events like Pride Month matter so much. It's about a gay teenage boy that experiences discrimination after being outed involuntarily. On the verge of suicide, he finds a cafe that's frequented by other queer people. By talking to them and relating his experiences to theirs, he begins to accept himself. It's important for queer people to be understood, to have someone they can look up to and talk about. The LGBTQ+ community exists to raise awareness about these issues and to tell young people that these feelings that they're experiencing aren't something to be scared of, that their experiences are relatable and that it's alright to consider these feelings as a part of their identity. Although the world at large may not accept them, there's a community of people out there that will.
What is your favourite LGBTQ+ inclusive anime? Share in the comments below!
submitted by JoseiToAoiTori to anime [link] [comments]


2020.06.25 15:02 JoseiToAoiTori Celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride Month With These Anime!

June is LGBTQ+ Pride Month and here in Helsinki, we have Pride Week in the final week of June. Regardless of where you live, Pride Month is a time for increased visibility of LGBTQ+ people and with that intent in mind, I came up with this Compilation Watch This Thread for anime featuring characters that fall under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, organized by letters in LGBTQ.
Beware of spoilers beyond this point. These spoilers will reveal the queer identity of characters in various anime.

Anime With Lesbians

Yuri Kuma Arashi (Yuri Bear Storm)

Content Warning
Yurikuma Arashi is a direct critique of the idea that Girls' Love is pure and free of any sexual desire. The idea that lesbian love is a form of fleeting adolescent intimacy between girls allows people (often straight males) to indulge in a voyeuristic fantasy by stripping would-be lesbians of their sexuality and treating their intimacy as a platonic relationship that's merely service for onlookers. Yurikuma Arashi is a critique of how queer people are often commodified and their personal identities are drastically altered for the sake of conformity. The lesbians in Yurikuma Arashi express desire for the same sex (NSFW LINK) and this causes them to be excluded from the rest of society. Yurikuma Arashi is about stereotypes associated with lesbians and the pressure on them to conform to those stereotypes and how acceptance can break down oppressive hierarchies within a society that makes victims out of queer people.
Yurikuma Arashi can be streamed on Funimation.

Yagate Kimi ni Naru (Bloom Into You)

Bloom Into You is a recent anime and it's quickly asserted its position as one of the most influential works in the LGBTQ+ community. Yuu Koito, the protagonist of the anime is in love with the idea of love yet when a guy confesses to her, she realizes she's incapable of experiencing it herself. This changes when she meets Touko Nanami as both struggle to come to terms with their feelings for each other. Bloom Into You highlights how confusing your first relationship can be especially when you haven't quite figured yourself out yet.
Bloom Into You can be streamed on HIDIVE.

Aoi Hana (Sweet Blue Flowers)

Aoi Hana is about the struggles of being a young and confused lesbian. It's very down to earth with its portrayal of lesbian adolescence. Featuring a vibrant cast of characters, Aoi Hana is a go-to example for shows with explicit lesbian relationships.
Aoi Hana can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation. Description contributed by jayay112.

Simoun

Content warning
Lesbians going to war is an interesting premise to say the least. Simoun takes place in a reality where everyone is born female and chooses their permanent gender later on but in doing so, they lose the ability to fly the 'Simoun' which are aircrafts piloted by lesbian couples. Simoun thus creates a setting where the government is a matriarchy and young lesbians are the ones with the ability to go to war.
Simoun is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release.

Oniisama e... (Brother, Dear Brother)

Content Warning
Oniisama e... is a darker iteration of a Class S Yuri drama created by the iconic team-up of Osamu Dezaki and Riyoko Ikeda, who were also responsible for Rose of Versailles. It opens with the main character, Nanako Misonoo, getting inexplicably inducted into a Sorority at a prestigious girls school, which immediately opens her up to the jealous ire of her classmates as well as dives her head first into the complicated web of relationships between the most powerful girls at the school. The show takes a thorough look on heavy topics like bullying and drug abuse, albeit with a melodratic yet highly entertaining and stylized presentation, and is worth a watch if you are in the mood for a heavy drama.
Oniisama e... is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release. Description contributed by AdiMG

Asagao to Kase-san (Kase-san and Morning Glories)

Kase-san is a short and sweet romance OVA that is effectively a sequence of vignettes depicting the relationship of two girls with contrasting personalities. With lots of sweet and sugary moments, Kase-san is a short watch that will leave you feeling satisfied.
Kase-san can be streamed on HIDIVE.

Fragtime

Content warning
Fragtime is a recently released OVA from the director of Kase-san, Takuya Satou, that once again follows two girls with contrasting personalities. However, there's a supernatural aspect this time where one of the girls has the ability to stop time once a day for 3 minutes but the other girl is the only one immune to her ability. This leads to a lot more intimate moments between them. The relationship in Fragtime is more sexual and turbulent than the one in Kase-san but it still retains the director's personal flair. Let's hope Takuya Satou keeps blessing us with adaptations of more yuri works.
Fragtime is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Flip Flappers

Flip Flappers is a lesbian coming-out story with a mahou shoujo aesthetic. It's also a super creative show with fantastic visuals. As a work that's somewhat obtuse and abstract, there's an aspect of plausible deniability to its events. On the other hand, Papika and Cocona's relationship is clearly more than friends. Much of Flip Flappers is about identity formation and self-discovery. Papika gets the opportunity to try out various versions of herself while Cocona struggles to actualize her feelings. In the end, Papika realizes that the version of herself that she likes the most is the one that's in love with Cocona. In her own way, Cocona also comes to the realization that she loves Papika. Flip Flappers shows how healthy queer relationships can be born out of identity reaffirmation and having a strong sense of self.
Flip Flappers can be streamed on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

Sailor Moon S

You're telling me an 90's children show had an openly homosexual couple? Get out of here! Yes, Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are a canonically lesbian couple. There's little to no plausible deniability to their relationship unlike some other queer people that appear throughout the series. Kunihiko Ikuhara has proved to be one of anime's most progressive directors and as an early work of his, Sailor Moon S is a shining example of his desire to give queer people more media representation. However, it should be noted that you need to get through the 2 earlier seasons of Sailor Moon before you get to S which is the third season.
Sailor Moon is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD and DVD release.

Sasameki Koto (Whispered Words)

Whispered Words is a nice fluffy comedy that's about lesbians being comfortable around each other and having a lot of fun at school. It also has some light drama around the main character, who doesn't want to tell her best friend that she's in love with her. Overall, it's a very comfy show that makes for a very easy watch.
Sasameki Koto is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release. Description contributed by jayay112.

Strawberry Panic

Content Warning
Strawberry Panic is a 2000's anime set in an alliance of all-girls schools. Strawberry Panic takes its time explaining the governing of these schools. Throughout all the intrigue and personal drama, there's quite a few lesbian relationships strewn throughout the show but the cast is too large to do a good job at fleshing everyone out.
Strawberry Panic is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD and DVD release.

Hibike! Euphonium/Liz to Aoi Tori (Sound! Euphonium/Liz and the Blue Bird)

Hibike! Euphonium is a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to representation. Season 1 is applauded for its depiction of Kumiko and Reina's relationship while Season 2 is regarded as a betrayal of that relationship. Chikai no Finale, the sequel film, continues that status quo. However, Liz and the Blue Bird rebounds with its depiction of adolescent lesbian romance founded on mutual understanding and communication while establishing personal boundaries between two Hibike! side characters. Despite all its flaws, I recommend checking it out for the lesbian angst.
Hibike! Euphonium can be streamed on Crunchyroll.
Honourable Mentions: Akanesasu Shoujo, Maria-sama ga Miteru, Anima Yell, Diebuster, Oshi ga Budoukan Ittekuretara Shinu

Anime With Gay Men

Yuri!!! on Ice

Talking about Yuri!!! on Ice in a write-up about pride and representation is inevitable. Sayo Yamamoto's work took the anime community by storm and introduced many people in the LGBTQ+ community to the anime/manga medium. It's one of the most successful anime original IPs to date and winner of multiple prestigious awards. Featuring a diverse and multicultural cast of characters around the globe, Yuri!!! on Ice is a sports anime about an unsuccessful figure skater on the verge of retirement getting the icon of the figure-skating world as his coach. Yuri!!! on Ice depicts a relationship between two men who gradually grow to care more about each other and overcome their weaknesses. Through Victor's help, Yuri is able to reinvent his image into one that's more assertive and less vulnerable than his previous persona. Another character, Yurio reinvents his image into one more traditionally feminine and vulnerable. Multiple characters have anxiety-fueled breakdowns and moments of weakness and despite that, they are accepted for who they are. Yuri!!! on Ice makes a statement that it's not wrong for men to be vulnerable or show weakness and that we all have different sides to ourselves that make up who we are. This denial of traditional gender roles and critique of toxic masculinity is what defines Yuri!!! on Ice and Sayo Yamamoto's personal outlook that's prevalent in all her works.
Yuri!!! on Ice can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Doukyuusei (Classmates)

Doukyuusei is a series of vignettes about the relationship between two classmates. Think Kase-san but with boys instead. It's fairly short and sweet while briefly touching on the difficulties of being homosexual in Japan.
Doukyuusei is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Given

Content warning
Given is a recent show that's notable for being a TV anime with explicit homosexual relationships. Revolving around a band with a mix of college and high school students, Given breathes life into the BL genre which can often be exploitative of gay men. BL in general needs more shows like Given to clear up the stigma that all BL is just fetish-bait.
Given can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Sarazanmai

Content warning
This list is full of Kunihiko Ikuhara works and Sarazanmai is his latest one. Aside from being another critique of oppressive societal structures, Sarazanmai features queer characters experimenting with their identity and an explicitly homosexual couple. More than anything, Sarazanmai is about the difficulty of loving someone of the same sex in a society where human connection and empathy put you at a disadvantage and the strong oppress the weak.
Sarazanmai can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Kono Danshi (This Boy) Franchise

Shoubi Yamamoto has been creating a series of short OVAs since 2011 at Makoto Shinkai's studio CoMix Wave Films, with each entry in the franchise being a short and sweet BL romance, often with adult characters. The stories are framed around supernatural twists that wouldn't be out of place in Monogatari or Bunny Girl Senpai, and despite their short runtime, these snippets ultimately leave the viewers satisfied at the end with their charming relationships and well-realized drama.
This Boy is a Professional Wizard and This Boy Suffers from Crystallization are available at Crunchyroll. This Boy Can Fight Aliens and This Boy Caught A Merman are available at HiDive. Description contributed by EyebrowScar and AdiMG.

No. 6

No. 6 is set in a post-war utopian world that isn't really a utopia but rather a society built on unjust peace. No. 6 highlights class differences and xenophobic attitudes while also featuring a gay relationship. Most of No. 6 plays out like a mystery with world-building rather than a romance but it's a good shout regardless.
No. 6 can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Banana Fish

Content Warning
Banana Fish is an influential 80's BL manga that has been adapted into an anime. The anime definitely feels like an 80's action flick. In many ways, it's a product of its time both in its depiction of abuse and its coy portrayal of Ash and Eiji's relationship.
Banana Fish can be streamed on Amazon Prime.

Mo Dao Zu Shi (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation)

Mo Dao Zu Shi is Chinese animation and by /anime's definition, does not qualify as anime. However, it's a BL by nature and takes place in the fictional Chinese setting of Wuxia where you have wizards and demons and the like. The show can be hard to follow and with its country of origin being China, you won't get anything explicit but there's a significant amount of undertones. Watch Mo Dao Zu Shi if you want a darker story with a backdrop of Chinese Martial Arts/Magic.
Mo Dao Zu Shi has no English release. However, it is getting a Japanese release soon.
Honourable Mention: Promare

Anime with Bisexual/Pansexual Characters

Shinsekai Yori (From the New World)

Content warning
Shinsekai Yori is a dystopia where psychic abilities in humans lead to widespread destruction until these humans are able to isolate themselves in a fragile peace. Shinsekai Yori follows the lives of a group of children as they uncover the truths and horrors of their world while also coming to terms with their own identities. Characters in Shinsekai Yori have explicit relationships with both sexes at different points and these relationships play an important role in the story.
Shinsekai Yori can be streamed on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

Kiznaiver

Kiznaiver isn't a show most people look back on very fondly. A TRIGGER anime with a script by Mari Okada, it's often cited as an example of when Okada goes overboard with her melodrama. However, it features a bisexual/pansexual character that receives her own character arc. The arc involves a same-sex relationship that's treated respectfully. The character gets into a heterosexual relationship later on. You could argue that it's queer erasure but I'd point at Okada's queer-friendly work, Hourou Musuko and tell you that this isn't the case. The character is either bi or pansexual.
Kiznaiver can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Hanamonogatari (Monogatari Series)

Monogatari is a straight harem for the most part and the bisexual character is part of that harem. However, there's an entire arc dedicated to her relationship with a girl and thus she's very explicitly established as a bisexual/pansexual character. The caveat of course is that this arc comes very late in the series.
Hanamonogatari can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

ACCA: 13-ku Kansatsu-ka (ACCA: 13-Territory Inspection Dept.)

ACCA flew under the radar when it aired despite being directed by the legendary Shingo Natsume It's a political drama with lots of intrigue but without any high-octane action or high-stakes battles. Instead, Jean Otus, the main character does inspections in different territories of the Kingdom of Dowa while highlighting their distinct cultures in the midst of rumours of a coup d'état. Jean is pretty gay for his buddy Nino but he's also taken in by Mauve. Though he doesn't get into any explicit relationship in the series, his behaviour definitely implies that he's bi or pansexual. At the very least, the show definitely gives you a lot of moments that imply that.
ACCA can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo

Gankutsuou is a 2000's anime that's inspired by the French novel in its name but is very much a retelling of that story. Particularly, I'm sure that the author would roll in his grave if he discovered how some of his characters were rewritten as queer. Gankutsuou features a bisexual character and for us bi people, that's a real fucking blessing honestly. We take the representation we get.
Gankutsuou can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Evangelion

Like some other works on this list, Evangelion's events are often obfuscated and much is left up to the viewer's interpretation. On the other hand, Shinji and Kaworu's relationship is an iconic aspect of Eva and since Shinji is also attracted to girls, he's definitely either bi or pansexual. While this isn't the aspect that would make most people get into Eva, it's definitely one that deserves to be mentioned.
Evangelion is available on Netflix. However, it straight-washes Shinji and Kaworu's relationship. It has a BD and DVD release I recommend instead.

Anime with Transgender Characters

Hourou Musuko (Wandering Son)

Hourou Musuko is possibly the most important work on this list in regards to LGBTQ+ issues. It directly confronts the struggle of trans teenagers with gender dysphoria and how uncomfortable one can feel in their own body. Hourou Musuko can be difficult to watch because of how it painstakingly depicts the anguish of its characters all struggling with conflicting feelings but that's exactly what makes it such a good show. Life is difficult when you're forced to wear clothes you don't want to wear and your body and voice develop in ways that make you feel at odds with your own identity. The things that cisgender people take for granted can be hell for people born in the wrong body and Hourou Musuko is a step towards understanding that.
Hourou Musuko can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Tokyo Godfathers

Content Warning
Tokyo Godfathers is a classic film by Satoshi Kon. It plays out like your standard Christmas film with a series of coincidences leading to wacky and humorous situations. It's also a heartwarming story about the importance of found family, a family that includes a transgender character that wants to be a mother. Hana is portrayed in a positive light as a trans character that's very much part of the found family in Tokyo Godfathers. Possibly the most empathetic character in the whole film, Hana drives most of the plot. Tokyo Godfathers portrays the harsh life of homeless people and the fact that one of these homeless people is transgender is important because of the disproportionate number of homeless transgender people around the world.
Tokyo Godfathers is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD and DVD release.

Paradise Kiss

Content Warning
Paradise Kiss is a 2000's josei anime about the romance between an aspiring model and fashion design student. The characters wear all sorts of fabulous clothes but the most fabulous of them all is a trans girl called Isabella. ParaKiss depicts the importance of trans acceptance and how important it can be for trans people to wear the clothes that they want to wear. As most of ParaKiss is about expressing oneself through clothes and making clothes that suit the person, Isabella's attire downright makes her an icon for femininity.
Paradise Kiss is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release.

Stop!! Hibari-kun!

While this is a slapstick comedy where the main character is referred to as a cross-dresser rather than explicitly transgender, it comes very close to genuine trans rep. It might even be one of the first anime/manga works with trans rep. Hibari is implied to be identifying as a girl and the male lead eventually realizes that he is in love with the Hibari who presents as female but is biologically male. The mangaka also stated that the character was created out of their own frustration for not being born as a girl. While there are naturally caveats that you'd expect from an 80's work, Hibari is never the butt of any jokes and actively fights back against transphobic remarks. Although Stop!! Hibaru-kun! (note the -kun, even the title genders Hibari) was progressive for its time, it stands to be repeated that it is quite dated by today's standards. Nevertheless, if you're up for it, it's still one of the few well-intentioned depictions of a trans-coded character in anime.
Stop!! Hibari-kun! is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release.

Lovely★Complex

Lovely Complex is a shoujo romcom about two characters (a tall woman and a short man) who are uncomfortable with their height. While most of the show is about them getting past their complex to form a relationship, there's also a trans character that falls in love with the main guy. She insists that God just put her in the wrong body and even though her love is unrequited, she is treated with respect.
Lovely Complex can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Zombieland Saga

Zombieland Saga has a fairly outlandish premise and for the most part, it's also a pretty outlandish show. Most people that watched it probably still remember the more bizarre moments from the show or Mamoru Miyano's performance as the Manager. Zombieland Saga is a fun ride in the beginning but it gradually gets more stale as it goes on. However, it depicts a transgender character literally dying and becoming a zombie due to gender dysphoria. Lily's trans identity was initially vehemently denied by anime fans and blamed on translators but since then, she's been accepted as a legitimate and positive portrayal of a transgender character in anime.
Zombieland Saga can be streamed on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Anime with Queer People/Queer Identities

Shoujo Kakumei Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

Content Warning
Utena is a landmark work in the LGBTQ+ community. It's Kunihiko Ikuhara's first work where he directly addresses the systemic oppression of queer people in society and the hierarchical structures that feed on the impoverished. The show constantly eludes to a revolution that can 'change the world' (empowerment for women and racial/sexual minorities) and as the show goes on, it progressively becomes less obtuse and more explicit in what that revolution is and who the real oppressors really are. The show includes many queer characters with tragic backgrounds. Often, their identities have been altered or taken away from them by toxic and oppressive people in their lives. The relationship between Utena and Anthy starts out as rather vague and confusing as Ikuhara obfuscates the events in the show but ends decisively on a strong note.
Utena can be streamed on Funimation.

Versailles no Bara (Rose of Versailles)

Set during the French Revolution, Rose of Versailles is an old classic that has much to offer in not just its queer rep but also in its depiction of historical events. An important work in its portrayal of gender-queer characters of different sexualities and subversion of traditional gender roles, it's also considered the inspiration and precursor for Revolutionary Girl Utena, a show also on this list. Regardless of how you feel about its more dated aspects, its influence on other queer anime/manga is undeniable. I highly recommend checking this one out if you haven't.
Rose of Versailles is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a remastered BD release and a DVD release.

Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine

Content warning
Before going on to make Yuri!!! on Ice, Sayo Yamamoto directed two other series where she had full creative control. One of them was Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine. Sayo Yamamoto reinvents Fujiko Mine as a more nuanced character with agency of her own while reworking her relationships with the men around her to be much more interesting. Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine has been praised for tackling silenced queer narrative and features a more queer-coded depiction of many of its characters.
Lupin III: The Woman Called Fujiko Mine is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Hoshiai no Sora (Stars Align)

Content Warning
I've written at length about Hoshiai no Sora before. Hoshiai features one of the most honest and down-to-earth portrayals of a non-binary character you can find in anime and how important it can be to have your feelings validated by someone you care about.
Hoshiai no Sora can be streamed on Funimation.

Ribbon no Kishi (Princess Knight)

Princess Knight is a 50's manga penned by Osamu Tezuka and it's usually one of the first cited examples of queer manga. It also has an anime adaptation with a mere 700 MAL members at the time of writing this. Dated visuals aside, Princess Knight is another gender-queer work about a baby being born with 2 hearts (gender identities) and thus, the 'Princess Knight' dresses as both male and female at different points throughout the story. The narrative plays with gender roles and queer relationships while also acknowledging the hetero-normative society it is set in. It's a remarkable work for its time and one that deserves to be remembered as a major milestone for anime/manga.
Princess Knight is available to stream on Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Ouran Koukou Host Club (Ouran High School Host Club)

Ouran Host Club is a 2000's shoujo classic that plays out like a parody of shoujo tropes. Its comedy holds up even today although some aspects of it do feel quite dated. For a 2000's show though, Ouran was much more progressive than a lot of shows even today. The main character, Haruhi Fujioka cross-dresses and defies gender expectations by using masculine pronouns and entertaining other girls who visit the Host Club in a boys uniform. Haruhi is pretty unconcerned with what gender she is viewed as and most of her interactions with the Host Club boys happen while she is crossdressing.
Ouran Host Club can be streamed on Funimation.

Hugtto! Precure

The PreCure franchise has often featured intimate relationships between characters of the same sex. Some of these have been more explicit than others. Hugtto! PreCure, winner of the 2019 /anime Awards had a biologically male, gender-fluid character transform into the first male Cure in the history of the franchise. Hugtto! Precure makes a statement that boys can be princesses too and pushes back against the gendered concept of a magical girl in a franchise that's often dismissed as being for little girls.
Hugtto! Precure is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a BD release.

Cardcaptor Sakura

Cardcaptor Sakura is a 90's mahou shoujo classic that was well ahead of its time. Characters in CCS express interest in people of both genders. There's also quite a bit of crossdressing and a canonically gay couple later on. Characters in CCS defy gender stereotypes and this leads to one of the most nuanced and human character writing you can find in mahou shoujo anime. It's a fun ride all the way through that's really worth a watch.
Cardcaptor Sakura can be streamed on Crunchyroll, Funimation and Amazon Prime.

Houseki no Kuni (Land of the Lustrous)

The gems in Houseki no Kuni are gendered by the community because they're voiced by female seiyuu. However, they're fairly androgynous for the most part and don't really fall under either classification. Much of Houseki revolves around Phosphophyllite's desire to rebuild themselves anew and a dissatisfaction with the body they were born with. Houseki no Kuni is a full CG anime but the CG is quite excellent, leading to bombastic set pieces that would be difficult to do hand-drawn.
Houseki no Kuni can be streamed on Amazon Prime and HIDIVE.

Kino no Tabi (Kino's Journey)

Kino from Kino no Tabi is an androgynous character that uses both pronouns at different points in the story. Kino's actual gender identity is left ambiguous but they're either gender-fluid or non-binary. Indeed, Kino doesn't have to identify as either gender when they're already a self-identified traveler. As an impartial observer, Kino does not wish to interfere with the affairs of countries they visit. Kino no Tabi is a fairly episodic albeit darker slice of life about how harsh and beautiful the world can be.
Kino no Tabi can be streamed on HIDIVE. Please spare yourself from watching the 2017 remake.

Gatchaman Crowds

Gatchaman Crowds is a fairly niche sentai show with explicitly queer and queer-coded characters. As a whole, it's certainly an acquired taste for people who aren't into the whole tokutatsu/sentai subculture. It's a campy show for the most part with some underlying social commentary so give it a try and see if it's to your liking.
Gatchaman Crowds can be streamed on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

11-nin Iru! (They Were Eleven)

They Were Eleven is a gripping locked room mystery written by one of the pioneers of Shoujo manga, Moto Hagio. It uses its sci-fi setting to explore various societal conceptions of gender, but the most culturally enduring has to be her description of Frol. Frol hails from a planet without a concept of pre-pubescent gender but the planet's people are assigned a gender role later on in their life. Frol rails against their planet's customs and instead identifies as male despite their feminine presentation. The potent gender politics add another layer of tension to the already simmering plot of an underrated 80s movie.
They Were Eleven is not available on any streaming services. However, it has a DVD release. Description provided by AdiMG.

Samurai Flamenco

Samurai Flamenco is another fairly niche sentai/tokutatsu show that's more of a meta take on the genre. Samumenco is a bizarre show with a very specific comedy style that you will either love or hate. It's also very queer-coded and includes explicit same-sex relationships.
Samurai Flamenco can be streamed on Crunchyroll.

Kuragehime (Princess Jellyfish)

Kuragehime revolves around a group of female otaku NEETs living a communal life. The main character has an encounter with a beautiful woman who really isn't a woman but actually a cross-dressing man named Kuranosuke. Kuranosuke identifies as male but frequently cross-dresses. Kuragehime contrasts the more androgynous Kuranosuke who possesses both masculine and feminine characteristics with the main character, Kurashita Tsukimi. Kuragehime poses a question of whether it's possible for people like Tsukimi to transform into a beautiful princess like Kuranosuke does and whether they can overcome their anxiety and lack of self-esteem to find happiness.
Kuragehime can be streamed on Funimation.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun is a romcom anime that parodies shoujo manga and its tropes. It plays on the gendered expectations of shoujo manga and makes fun of them by having its characters behave in a manner that defies those expectations. Kashima Yuu regularly flirts with other girls while cross-dressing although she's actively into her male senpai. Seo Yuzuki regularly behaves in a boyish manner. In a vacuum, this behaviour isn't remarkable but when it's contrasted with gender expectations in shoujo manga, it leads to hilarious fourth wall breaking moments.

Beyond Anime: Shimanami Tasogare

Manga can be a fairly diverse medium and has many queer stories that haven't yet been adapted into anime. While this is an anime subreddit, I can't help but mention Shimanami Tasogare (Our Dreams at Dusk), a work that encapsulates why representation is important for queer people and why events like Pride Month matter so much. It's about a gay teenage boy that experiences discrimination after being outed involuntarily. On the verge of suicide, he finds a cafe that's frequented by other queer people. By talking to them and relating his experiences to theirs, he begins to accept himself. It's important for queer people to be understood, to have someone they can look up to and talk about. The LGBTQ+ community exists to raise awareness about these issues and to tell young people that these feelings that they're experiencing aren't something to be scared of, that their experiences are relatable and that it's alright to consider these feelings as a part of their identity. Although the world at large may not accept them, there's a community of people out there that will.
What is your favourite LGBTQ+ inclusive anime? Share in the comments below!
submitted by JoseiToAoiTori to JoseiToAoiTori [link] [comments]


2020.06.12 20:42 Capibara95 LDR and no sexting/nudes - can you give me an advice?

(Sorry for mistakes, my English isn't the best...) My boyfriend (26) and I (25) are in long distance monogamous relationship. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now visiting each others regularly (every 2 weeks). However due to this whole Covid situation we haven’t seen each others for ages (actually 4 monts but it feels like forever). We have a great chemistry and we know each other very well, we can talk on the phone for hours and we are very open about our opinions and needs. We both experience depression and social anxiety so it feels so good to finally have not only a partner but also a friend. But there is this one taboo topic that really rubs me the wrong way...
My boyfriend is thick, hairy and handsome, has a cute ass, an above-average size dick and a lot of self-confidence. I don’t feel sexy, I’m fat, not really handsome and not the most 'gifted' guy if you know what I mean. But whenever we see each others my boyfriend tells me how gorgeous I am and I can see that he enjoys our sex and cuddling as much as I do so it really boosts my self-esteem.
Right now our sex life is non-existent. No steamy time on cam, no nudes, no sexting. And I get it, we still live with our families so it’s not the most convenient situation for being horny sluts and spending time fully naked in front of cameras… but if you want something there’s always a way. What bothers me the most is that my boyfriend has a high sex drive, loves bara and porn, especially the amateur one and he watches it almost every day. Obviously I do it too but maybe like twice a week. It’s ok that he enjoys it but I feel pretty shitty knowing that he is in fact horny and never has an urge to send me a hot photo or interact with me in a sexual way. I think I get jealous not over the fact that he jerk off to all those models on videos but over the fact that it fully replaced our sex life. At the beggining of our relationship we were sending each other nudes and steamy descriptions of what we would do when we would see each other again like crazy, few months later we kinda chilled it out but we were meeting and fucking so often that it didn’t really bother me.
I’ve tried to find a solution for that situation - talking, taking the lead - but it seems like there’s almost no reaction. Of course we had one or two dates on cam in bathtub pretty early but only because I’ve insisted. There was a situation when he gets all hyped for the possibility of playing with a dildo when he will be home alone but he wasn't so keen on the idea of us playing on the cam because 'he has no conditions'. I don't want to force him to do this things with me but it makes me sad that he doesn't see an issue with us not being sexual to each other at all even tho he feels horny. He confessed to me the last time we talked about this issue that it makes him feel bad about his sexual desires and he feels guilty when he watches porn because of me.
Don’t get me wrong, I really do believe that he loves me and I don’t think he would cheat on me or leave me. We still enjoy doing so many things together and I love him so much. But this whole situation makes me sad and confused. Did you have a similar situation? Do you think the issue is my way of thinking or his actions? And if so - how to stop this feeling of jelousy?

TL;DR My LDR boyfriend isn't sexual with me but jerk off to porn every day.
submitted by Capibara95 to AskGayMen [link] [comments]


2020.06.11 01:56 OpinieAB2 QUIZ: Ce tip de rodditor tanar, frumos si liber esti?

Disclaimer: nu sunt nici finantat de BOR, rusi, eXtReMa dReApTa, etc.
Daca va simtiti ofensati, pm me si aratati-mi pe papusa unde v-a atins postarea.
Fiecare chestie valoreaza 1 punct. Rezultatele sunt la final. Am folosit persoana a III-a pentru ca pula mea, nu stiu.
Profil complet al tanarului frumos, liber si progresist.

1. Aspect fizic:


2. Personalitate/social:

3. Convingeri politice:

4. Geopolitica:

5. Religie:

6. Stiinta/scepticism:

7. Educatie:

8. Finante/loc de munca:


0-20: CETATEAN MODEL - Felicitari! Probabil ca urasti SUA, Rusia, China si UE. Vrei ca Romania sa isi vada de dreptul la autodeterminare si sa se puna la punct cu o noua clasa politica. Probabil vrei sa fie taiate subventii, ajutoarele sociale luate cu susta si vrei sa ajunga la parnaie toti dementii care au futut tara. Ti se rupe de ce se intampla "afara" si in ciuda faptului ca nu aderi la ideile nationaliste, iti iubesti tara si vrei sa fii acasa, cu oamenii tai, fara a fi obligat sa ii stergi la cur pe altii. Ai o viziune neutra asupra lumii si nu vrei sa tragi concluzii pe baza mizeriilor regurgitate de catre toti "formatorii de opinie" (adica somerii) de pe Facebook. Stii ca tot ceea ce e pe social media e cancer propagandist. Salivacii, respiracii si trogloditii vor spune ca esti fanatic nationalist, dar nu te intereseaza, pentru ca tu oricum esti patriotul suprem, nu un nationalist. Esti un exemplu de urmat!
21-40: CETATEAN CU CONFLICTE INTERNE - In ciuda faptului ca suferi de niste biasuri emotionale, inca exista speranta. Citeste o carte de istorie, formeaza-ti singur opiniile pe baza realitatii in care traim si nu pe baza realitatii alternative care este prezentata online de catre agentiile de presa, formatori de opinie, etc. Esti pe drumul cel bun.
41-70: SALIVAC VESTIC - Iti place tot ceea ce-ti ofera Vestul. Urmaresti trusturi "apolitice" si ai impresia ca o tara ca afara e ceva bun. Ignori statisticile cand sunt in defavoarea opiniilor tale. Consideri ca romanii sunt inapoiati din varii motive care nu coincid cu tine ideologic. Iti place sa te faci remarcat pe internet cu opinii caustice si te simti protejat in spatele tastaturii. Crezi neironic ca exista extrema dreapta. Uiti ca in Franta oamenii de culoare incendiaza masini de Anul Nou, pentru ca "asa e traditia lor" si pui botul cand presa iti explica ca ar avea vreo conotatie istorica importanta, nicidecum nu e comportament primitiv.
71-100: RESPIRAC PROGRESIST - Esti la prima faza a evolutiei catre Noul Om. Iti place sa consumi. Toata viata ta inseamna sa mergi sa lucrezi, cariera, consum si cat mai mult entertainment. Consideri ca granitele, imbogatirea culturala si spirituala sunt snobisme si gasesti pseudointelectualisme pentru a justifica stilul tau de viata anost si plin de nihilism. Singurul lucru care iti ofera vreun scop e lustruirea penisului taurului care va veni la noapte la sotia ta, in speranta ca-ti va cumpara un Nintendo Switch.
101+: TROGLODIT DRONAT - Noul Om. Ascensiune. Viitor. Felicitari. Viata ta e o depresie continua. Depresie, anxietate, probleme de sanatate, parade, mancare proasta. Esti cu sanatatea la pamant, din punct de vedere moral esti praf. Iti place iluzia pe care ti-o hranesti in VR, alaturi de alti oameni care nu mai vor sa iasa din casa, de la locul de munca. Ai o viata lejera de drona si nu mai ai nevoie de nimic. Sotia iti va fi fututa, mancarea iti va fi adusa, totul va fi bine. Nu ti s-a mai sculat de la Marea Reforma Europeana, dar nu conteaza. Ai salvat vieti de culoare carora nu le pasa de tara pe care tu cu cei de la Demos le-ati lasat-o. Rata criminalitatii e la cote alarmante, dar ai facut dreptate online. Natalitatea e praf, dar ai vrut oricum diversitate. Rata divorturilor e 99%, dar nu conteaza, pentru ca oricum nu ai vrut o familie. Relativism moral. Totul e permis. Cineva de pe Vice a incercat s-o ia in cur cu un instrument nou, ca sa nu trebuiasca s-o faci tu, dar stii ca vrei s-o faci...
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2019.12.30 03:47 Prolifebabe Article proving what prolife feminists have been saying all along: patriarchy likes abortion more than it likes pregnant women.

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/07/classic-hollywood-abortion?fbclid=IwAR2XegtThcL5CxWl5gFMmyeB6X8obpLSTYad8rBObrY_Cp6JOLmW8jVJ-AA

“Abortions were our birth control,” an anonymous actress once said about the common procedure’s place in Hollywood from the 1920s through the 1950s. While patriarchal political powers connive to block women’s legal access to abortion in 21st century America, in Old Hollywood, abortions were far more standard and far more accessible than they often are today—more like aspirin, or appendectomies. How and why did a procedure that was taboo and illegal at the time become so ordinary—at least, among a certain set?
Much like today, in Old Hollywood, the decisions being made about women’s bodies were made in the interests of men—the powerful heads of motion pictures studios MGM, Paramount Pictures, Warner Bros., and RKO. As Aubrey Malone writes in Hollywood's Second Sex: The Treatment of Women in the Film Industry, 1900-1999, “If you want to play in this business, you play like a man or you’re out. And if you happen to be a woman, better not mention it to anybody.”
From the very infancy of America’s film industry, abortions were necessary body maintenance for women in the spotlight. Birth control, including prophylactics, were about as new as “stars” themselves—movie performers who went overnight from being “Little Mary” or “The Vitagraph Girl” to “America’s Sweetheart” or “Sex Goddess.”
“These newly wealthy men and women didn’t know how to control their money, their bodies, or their lives, spending, cavorting, and reveling in excess,” writes Anne Helen Petersen in Scandals of Classic Hollywood. In the working environment of the Hollywood studio system, society’s 19th-century sexual segregation had fallen away. Women—flappers, It girls, sirens and seductresses—were spared their destiny in the kitchen, and for the first time, they earned large incomes they could spend on whatever and whomever they wished. Many believed the publicity they read about their own erotic powers, and they went toe-to-toe professionally with men. Sparks were bound to fly.
And so it became necessary for the studios to implement reformatory measures to prevent stars from destroying their value through scandal. In 1922, Will H. Hays Hays collaborated with studios to introduce mandatory “morality clauses” into stars’ contracts. Consequently an unintended pregnancy would not only bring shame to these top box-office earners—it would violate studio policy. “[I]t was a common assumption that glamorous stars would not be popular if they had children,” writes Cari Beauchamp in her book on powerful women in Old Hollywood, Without Lying Down.
These clauses may have extended to an actress’s right to marry. According to Petersen, rumor had it that “Blonde Bombshell” Jean Harlow couldn’t wed William Powell because “MGM had written a clause into her contract forbidding her to marry”—a wife couldn’t be a “bombshell,” after all. When Harlow became pregnant from the affair, she called MGM head of publicity Howard Strickling in a panic. Shortly thereafter, according to E.J. Fleming in The Fixers: Eddie Mannix, Howard Strickling and the MGM Publicity Machine, “Mrs. Jean Carpenter” entered Good Shepherd Hospital “to get some rest.” She was seen only by her private doctors and nurses in room 826, the same room she had occupied the year before for an “appendectomy.”
In the 1930s, vamp and man-eating thespian Tallulah Bankhead got “abortions like other women got permanent waves,” biographer Lee Israel quips in Miss Tallulah Bankhead. When virtuous singing sensation Jeanette McDonald found herself pregnant in 1935, MGM studio boss Louis B. Mayer told Strickling to “get rid of the problem.” McDonald soon checked into a hospital with an “ear infection,” according to Fleming’s The Fixers.
Many of these Silent Sex Goddesses either fell victim to their own hedonism, fell out of favor, or burned out, such as Theda Bara and Clara Bow. Others, like Joan Crawford, kept going. Kenneth Anger writes that Crawford was a “gutsy jazz baby” who marched through the “twin holocaust of the Talkies/Crash unscathed” to escape her dirt-poor origins. “Joan knew where she came from,” he continues, “and did not want to go back there.”
In 1931 Joan Crawford, estranged from her husband Douglas Fairbanks Jr., became pregnant with what she believed was Clark Gable’s child and Strickling arranged for an abortion. Rather than reveal the truth, Crawford told Fairbanks that during the filming of Rain on Catalina Island, she slipped on the deck of a ship and lost the baby.
Crawford’s rival Bette Davis also willingly chose to have abortions for the sake of her career. Davis was the breadwinner for her entire family—her mother and sister, and her husband, Harmon Nelson, whom she married in 1932. If she’d had a child in 1934, she told her biographer Charlotte Chandler in The Girl Who Walked Home Alone, she would’ve “missed the biggest role in her life thus far”—that of Mildred in Of Human Bondage, which earned Davis her first Oscar nomination. Other great parts—“Jezebel, Judith, Elizabeth, Charlotte, and Margo Channing”—may not have followed, either. “But I didn’t miss any of these roles, and I didn’t miss having a family,” she said. Later in life, Davis had three children.
Her first child, Barbara Davis Sherry—known as B.D.—was born when Davis was 39. As biographer Whitney Stine notes in I’d Love to Kiss You: Conversations with Bette Davis, “she was proud of the fact that, after her abortions, she could have a baby at last and a career, because her mother had always insisted that she couldn’t have both. She never tired of reminding [her mother] that she could be a mother and an actress.”
“A child could wait; her career could not.” That’s the reasoning Jean Harlow’s mother gave about her daughter’s own abortion at age 18. Ava Gardner, too, expressed a similar sentiment when discussing her abortion, which she had when married to Frank Sinatra—unbeknownst to him. “‘MGM had all sorts of penalty clauses about their stars having babies,’” Jane Ellen Wayne quotes Gardner saying in The Golden Girls of MGM. “‘If I had one, my salary would be cut off. So how could I make a living? Frank was broke and my future movies were going to take me all over the world. I couldn’t have a baby with that sort of thing going on. MGM made all the arrangements for me to fly to London. Someone from the studio was with me all the time. The abortion was hush hush . . . very discreet.’”
But things didn’t work out quite so well for Judy Garland. Famous primarily for playing Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and struggling to maintain both her weight and her image as an ingenue, Garland was never free to make her own choices.
“Married or not, the MGM girls maintained their virginal image,” Wayne observes, and this was especially true of Garland. In 1941, at age 19, she married the bandleader David Rose without the approval of MGM, and within 24 hours was ordered back by to work. When she became pregnant by Rose, her mother, Ethel, in cahoots with the studio, arranged for Garland to have an abortion. Audiences loved her as a child—not as a mother. In 1943, Garland became pregnant from her affair with Tyrone Power, according to Petersen. Strickling arranged for her to have an abortion. Arguably, these incidents affected Garland psychologically; eventually she became the first public victim of stardom.
Tyrone Power also got Lana Turner pregnant. Again, Strickling arranged for an abortion. Power was one of a constellation of male stars—such as Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, and Charlie Chaplin—whose unbridled dalliances left women paying the price, according to The Fixers. (The phrase “In like Flynn” alludes to Errol’s ease at bedding women—and his good fortune at being acquitted of statutory rape of two teenage girls.)
Strickling, who was by now referred to as a “fixer,” had his hands full with Turner. The “Sweater Girl” allegedly found herself pregnant by bandleader Artie Shaw in 1941, and Strickling arranged an abortion during her publicity tour of Hawaii. The procedure took place without anesthesia, on her hotel bed. Turner’s mother covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her daughter’s cries. A studio doctor, paid $500 that was then deducted from Turner’s paycheck, performed the procedure. A week later, she was back on set filming Ziegfeld Girl, according to The Fixers.
Some actresses struggled with whether or not to keep their child. Mexican screen siren Lupe Velez committed suicide in 1944 because she was pregnant by her lover Harald Ramond, who wouldn’t marry her. A devout Catholic, she declined to call “Doctor Killkare” (“the joke name for Tinseltown’s leading abortionist,” according to Kenneth Anger in Hollywood Babylon), and downed 75 Seconal instead, according to Hollywood Babylon.
The decision was equally tragic for Dorothy Dandridge. Otto Preminger had directed her in Carmen Jones and made her a star. When she became pregnant by him in 1955, he refused to divorce his wife and marry her. Dandridge was forced to have an abortion; the studio demanded it, according to Scandals of Classic Hollywood, not only because a child would compromise her image as the sexy Carmen Jones, but also because Preminger was a white man. And, while miscegenation laws were repealed in California in 1948, nationwide they were still very much in place.
Ironically, the rebel of her day was Loretta Young—not because she had an abortion, but because she refused to have one. A devout Catholic, Young journeyed abroad in 1935 to recuperate from a ‘mystery illness,’ after she found herself with child by Clark Gable under shady circumstances—and avoided the press. She gave birth to her daughter at home in Los Angeles. Young initially gave the child up for adoption—and then, a few months later, officially adopted her, according to The Fixers.
In the heyday of the Hollywood studio system, women were at their most desirable and their most powerful—but it still didn’t afford them the right to choose when it came to governing their bodies. Hollywood’s production codes extended to women’s reproduction. In the hundred years or so that have passed since the birth of American cinema, everything has changed—though, then again, perhaps nothing has.
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2018.12.07 14:21 Noruni Small list of Bara/Furry visual novels

Bara :
Furry:
Yaoi/shota:
There's many more than I will write here since I am completely uninterested in these types of game. These are the only one that have a muscular person as an option that I know of. Would appreciate if anyone more knowledgeable could make another list.
Camp Buddy. Musculatall guys are tops, twinks/shota vers bottoms. Interesting enough story, if you don't get enough affection with the person they'll cheat on ya.
Full Service. New demo came out recently, Musculatall guys are tops, twinks are bottoms. Haven't played it.
Bacchikoi. Musculatall guys are tops, twinks are bottoms. Haven't played it.
Naked Butler I know nothing of this one.
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2017.12.30 05:39 Blue_clue_007 I never learn...

I don’t need the judgement I already feel the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. Over 3 and a half years ago I was young dumb and had zero love or respect for myself and had unprotected sex with strangers. Growing up I was always called ugly, fat, b*** and so on. My own mother was a heavy drinker and would mentally abuse me along with my brothers and sisters. So for a very long time I have had very low to no self esteem. I was always looking for someone to love me and for some protection, however I’ve always ended up with men who had no respect for me or my mental / physical health. After my uprotected sex episode I stopped having sex because I was discussed with myself and felt lower then dirt because the guy who I had the episode with truly believed women were beneath him. ( I’m naturally a submissive which makes me an easy target) because of this for almost 4 years I focused on myself started therapy, started exercising and eating healthy and I was happy for the first time in my 30 years of life. I’ve also start to gain confidence. I’ve been dating a guy who has treated me really well and has gain my trust. We’ve been together for 3 months so I decided I was ready to take our relationship to the next level. After my unprotected sex episode I’m afraid of not using condoms, however my partner still after I asked mutiple times to put 1 and being the idiot that I am I was to in the moment to stop him and Due to my lack of sex for years couldn’t remember the fell of a condom vs bara.
I feel used, and most of all hurt to the point that I just want to be my own island, all I can do is cry. I hate myself for trusting someone again. I went in for an STI / HIV test today for the first time in my life and I’m scared. I feel like the stregth I built over the years is dying and worse of all I don’t want an sti or spreed any virus because I couldn’t live with myself. I just feel like shit and I don’t know what to do at this point.
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2017.04.06 22:05 AutumnLantern [MEA Spoilers]Romance and Screentime or: Why most players will pick Peebee

A little forward before I dive into this topic. I'm a screenwriter who works in animation, but also I get involved in games. My focus in writing character dialogue. I mostly am handed off scenes that either build character, or need a personal touch to them. Think a fight scene thats boring, then one where the 2 characters bicker at each other. I'm called in for the latter.
I only mention this, as a way to inform as to where my personal insights kick in, and why I wanted to bring up this topic. I've been a big fan of mass effect, and its one of the top 5 reasons I got into my job. Likely the reason I care about characters so much. I also want to stress that while I am going to put out negatives about characters (making fun of your space girlfriends) I'm just pointing out some things I've noticed from my industry. Also note: I'll be talking about male Shepard Ryder here, since I havent played through female yet, and most mass effect gamers are male, playing male.
OK, forward done, heres why most people are going to pick Peebee
I read somewhere that if you boil down all of the dialogue and cut scenes to run time its about 36 minutes for Vetra, 49 for Cora and well over an hour for Peebee. Seems around 19 for gil, and reyes is 26 minutes This is ridiculously imbalanced. The first step in creating a character is making them relatable (not necessarily likable, just relatable) and the literal next step is give them screen time.
Look at a show like the walking dead vs a movie like Day Z vs a game like Last of Us. What do they all have in common? Zombies, what do they not have in common? Run time. But notice how the longer the run time is, the more focused it is on characters.
You preemptively set up Cora, Reyes, but mostly Vetra and Gil, to fail because of screentime. Whose story arc, character flaws, and reliability have had the most time to rub off on you? Likely the one who you are around more, which is Peebee. There's actual science on this.
Peebee spends the most time around you, and you have to sit through her scenes more than the others. Plus she gets more dialogue that changes every time you do your rounds more than anyone else other than Jaal and Liam. Putting aside any predisposed feelings (you hate the color blue. she sounds whiny, you have a thing for girls with half their head buzzed) This is the main reason why she is preset to be the highest picked.
She also has longer run time with you in a party setting, which is why she will edge out Gil and Reyes (that charming bastard) to the average human mind. She has lots of time on camera (quality time), and lots of long hours on your party (quantity time).
Simple answer: Vetra, Cora, Gil and Reyes will be skipped because they dont have as much cut scene/dialog time, and because they don't have as much party quest time. You want the long answer, keep reading
Above was your shot at getting out of reading this essay early. But I'll dive deeper, because here is really where I have some insights to share, so if you really want to know more, here we go.
Peebee, Character, Fails and Pros to the human mind: Regardless of if you like Peebee's personality (and really that strongly depends on YOU as a person) average human minds will end up preferring her as a dating options due to her pros which vastly out number her character "fails" as I would dub them as a character writer. (Fails, instead of con, because any personality quirk can be made into a strength if written correctly. But I'll be the first to admit, is hard to do unless you understand or research the shit out of the personality type)
  • Pros: Her arc is simple, but also better for dating. She is very quick to run away from her problems. She meets you, you go on an adventure with her which involves an ex, and she pokes fun into your serious adventures and you teach her why staying with people is worth doing. Oh and giving closure about her ex via beating her.
  • Most people who hated Peebee went to liking her, or tolerating her over this time. And for most people who liked her, chose her during this because her loyal mission (read: developing her arc) leads right into this decision pretty seemlessly. Unlike Vetras or Coras who you flirt then get a stretch of time you can't flirt before you lock in.
  • Her arc is about her, and your direct involvement, brings up the relationship and the whole time she uses humor to lower your guard to do so. This is exactly what I do 90% of the time to make a love interest for a serious plot line. And while it doesnt cover the whole audience, its going to cover most of them.
  • More importantly, her character is really... really... painfully clear. WHICH IS GOOD. Theres a reason there are archetypes in writing. Because that word we used before. "Relatable" this also will give her an edge because she is the only one you clearly know what your getting into with, thus safer. I'll get into that more with Vetra and Cora.
  • Fails: Theres very few fails for her. But her biggest is the most pronounced: She's kinda annoying. Grant it, they handle her writing well, mostly through side conversations with people. Because of this her fail with most people can turn into a neither fail nor pro, or just a pro as they warm up to her. Its very possible to end up relating to something you dont love, and they handle this part of her character well, something they don't do for other characters well. Still, this is the first big hump to get over. Most people who do will end up romancing her, since she passes every other check that the others have issues with.
  • The second is a toughy as well, but minor. She has baggage. But since her arc deals with her unpacking it, fear of being close to people, and her EX, you end up either making people feel closer to her character. Also, most mass effect players (65% of the player base was paragon remember!) naturally pick up on the please help me vibes she gives, which is distinctly relateable to people seeking relationships.
Breaking that down simply, Peebee has a lot of incremental pros working for her in this game, with very few fails in terms of character writing, which most of those are handled pretty well.
Vetra, Character, Fails and Pros to the human mind:
I tried so damned hard to justify her as a romance option in my writer brain, but couldnt. I decided to put her next to Peebee, because to me, they are night in day in terms of written quality. Aside from the personality differences (which seriously, doesnt matter. That boils to personal preference, in which case they SHOULD be in equal grounds.) They have an extreme screentime difference, in both quest time and camera time. And their loyalty missions focus on completely different things in terms of romance.
  • Pros: Lets start with the good stuff first. Her character is pretty clear. Shes Space Mom. I know thats gross when you think about that joke (Mass effect writers called her mom before I did.) but realistically think about your pool of people hard enough and you will find that one person who is really caring, and literally shows up with a bandaid when you get a cut. We all got em. And some people love them. And thats good. Because the people who don't like Peebee's baggage and personality SHOULD be finding a foil in Vetra. But theres an issue here, as youll see later.
  • She's attractive. Aside from being tall, something that scares most men (and ironically because shes also a female option, turns on most females) Bioware did a great job at making her look feminine and pretty with a bug like alien. But this also has a fail attached, so theres a running theme here. Credit where credits due, the mandible click is an example of how to successfully turn inhuman things god damn adorable. Overall, shes does a great job showing "pretty but alien"
  • She has a sister. And she knows people. This is actually a benefit to her character. It should, in theory, help give you screen time. Since people in the open world have conversations with her or about, you get to keep having her rub off on you. This happened a few times, but not... ya know, 30 minutes worth.
  • Fails: The space mom thing wasnt super developed. Not to say Space Mom wasnt there. The seeds were clear. Hand on hip, the passive aggressive sass, the fact that she "knew" everyone, that she could get anything you needed, that she was protective of those she deems family, that she cares more about the mission stress on you than the mission itself. People who fell for her, fell for these seeds, but they werent fleshed out. Maybe an extra 30 minutes or so of screen time could have did that. (that was Vetra level of sarcasm, it would have.)
  • This is the most "Graphic" mass effect game to date and they do a god damn cut away for her sex scene? I mean look I get it. Turian arent exactly human shaped. But Christ that felt cut abruptly. And some people are into that look. No seriously, there are. In fact... most people who pick her are. If you dont want to do the same stuff you did with Peebee (Btw, Asari nipples are now cannon.) fine. But there are a ton of sexy things you can do aside from that. A strip game, a dance, kissing, OR, and heres a thought, opt out of the sex scene completely and push her character more. I'm not saying "I love me some sex scenes." I'm saying you set a precedence with the other romances and if you dont want to match it, thats fine. Then focus on her strengths and why people are picking this character. But do remember... Sex is part of relationships.
  • Last one, and its kinda a biggy in a small way. Her sister. A lot of people were turned off by the whole, I got a sister I care about thing. She respects family and its a core of her character. The issue that is in contrast to Peebee's is the fact that the loyalty mission. In Peebee's I help HER and we develop HER character. in Vetras we help SID and develop THEIR relationship. Does this help me understand vetra and Sid? Yes. Does it help me feel closer to her? No, helps me feel closer to THEM. At the end of the game they even are there together. While this is still small, it is around half of her character, and would have been less if they added AN EXTRA GOD DAMN 30 minutes in there and would have been less of an issue. In real life, people don't like a 3rd wheel, and Sid feels like one due to the amount of % she takes up. My focus on a first game should be you, and then your surrounding people later, like in a second game.
The 2 big take aways from this bit is that Space Mom didnt get enough time to develop, and that there was less of me helping her, and more of me helping their family.
Cora, Character, Fails and Pros to the human mind: Cora falls somewhere in the middle of these 2 characters. Not ironically, She also is in the middle of the 2 in terms of screentime! And her problems as a character written, like her screen time, falls also in between the two.
  • Pros: She has a clear arc. She misses a bit on her character clarity, but that later. Her arc is that she wants to be an asari but isnt. I kid. She actually tells you what her arc is, shes always looking for a leader to follow, and isnt one herself. It takes a bit of an eye to notice this, but she starts as a number 2 to Alec, then denied the pathfinder title. Her next choice of idol is the Asari pathfinder, and that too is broken for her. Then you come around and say "Don't idolize me, don't follow me. We are partners." Whats even better about this, is the fact that it leaves flaws for her in the second game if there is ones, giving her further development.
  • Shes got a B story. Peebee's got one too. She likes remtech. Cora, aside from the asari bit (which also could be a C story, so more options are good.) has her garden thing. Better yet... it ties into her arc, since its her thing but she lets you in on it... like a partner. A+. this is the 1 of 2 times other characters have a stronger romanceable moment than Peebee
  • Fails: Her character isnt clear. In fact, its a little all over the place. Tali was a follower. And she found a leader in you. She then grew in 2 to become your partner, and 3 she became her own leader. Cora's feels like it could be the start of that... but at the same time, it isn't, because she's not as wide eyed as tali... or isn't written to have a secret wide eyed side. It could have used development. She also could have been written to be different then Vetra (their humor and remarks blur into each other as their voices werent clear enough from each other) if they decided she was not Space Mom, but went CLEARLY into Warrior Wife.
  • To dive a bit more into that, Vetra clearly cares about Scott, the person, and Cora should have more clearly cared about Scott the Pathfinder. There are many, many partnerships in this world that are good and work were both are literally that, partners who work, fight, laugh and love together, but as 2 people, not one cohesive unit. They aren't so much interdependent as they are independent but together. Cora could have been more on this level. it ties into her arc and is even clearly (to me as a character writer) there, but not explored nearly enough. Think of Kings and Queens from game of thrones or something. They aren't exactly in it for true love, but as a team they kick ass.
  • Lets address the weeablu in the room. She really isn't as bad as people say she is. She IS early game, mentioning the asari bit a lot and that diff makes it stick more... first impressions are important in relationships. And is a fail because of that. However, I want to make a note that in general, soldiers who have been discharged have a hard time readjusting and use their military as a bit a of a crutch. Not making a blanket political statement, just one that writers often use. She gets a pass on it, but she needs to move on in her next development games.
Overall, She just isnt "quite" focused in terms of character and what relationship she brings to the table. Some slight tweaks in what she says and very few added lines fixes that. Again, that pushes run time up, but for her, only slightly.
Gil, Character, Fails and Pros to the human mind: Gill was only 19 minutes long, so I dont think I need to do a full break down, as there is really only one main Pro and one HUGE fail.
The pro is that his character is actually well made, A+ side character. Seriously, hits all the beats it needs to for a side character. The problem is... his 19 minutes give him no time for an arc, and no time for a relationship. Thats why it feels so hamfisted... because it was. You do some mild flirting and now you're a dad. Congrats!
This is why its better to have a team mate as a romance. Because you get screen time, and time to see them around you. Both are important. Gil's relationship is 0 to 100 and is bad because of that. Look, there was no reason to go that far for an arc. The guy is impulsive. Make him lose a bet he cant pay for, and gets into trouble. Afterwords have a cut scene where if you dont romance him hell say he will think more before he acts and if non romanced end it there. Romanced have a longer scene where you are livid at him because its not that simple, there IS an us now. Then make it a Was. Before the mission patch shit up. Does it take more screen time, sure, but it also feels way more real then, "oh hey we datin'? Baby time."
So basically. They tried, and utterly failed, at shoehorning a romance with someone who had no romantic screen time to spare.
Reyes, Character, Fails and Pros to the human mind:
  • Pros: Were talkin' gold character here. He's relatable, he's likable, he's charming, he's character is CLEAR! He a god damn charming bastard of a spy, and it makes the end tragic. He is easily one of the best written characters in mass effect in general. This is the second time we see writing that actually stands up with Peebee and Cora's one moment in the sun.
  • His scenes actually feel natural. He has a strong introduction and also a strong tug o war drama to his relationship stuff. Its not exactly a healthy relationship... but I'm no marage counlcer. I'm a character writer, and we LIKE conflict. He's not the normal love interest because its not you're "I'm with you to the end Shepard Ryder, but it does make for good story telling... but does set up for one fail down on this list
  • Fails: Here's the big one. When you get the forceful break up/betrayal in mass effect Andromeda 2, thats gunna make people sore. I think I can safely say he's going to lie to you since after you romance him LITERALLY EVERYONE REMARKS ON IT. Seriously, if I wanted to set up you've made him a changed man. Id have made an arc showing that (maybe a sequel will do this.) or I would have had side characters say it if I needed to save money. But when you spend the money to make them all say "Dude lies a lot, fyi," it means they are foreshadowing.
  • He's also going to suffer from the not on the team issue. You dont get rounds with him, you arent seeing his long term reactions to things, you dont have him on sqads. Sure, you can make up with this with extra missions like they did here, and really, really good writing, but ALOT of his charm was used up in this reveal. I'm not saying his character isnt good, Im saying not having him in the Tempest is naturally going to make people shy away from him due to lack of screen time.
He's actually a good character, with few fails on the writing team. For his smaller run time, they managed to put a lot into him too, so hes a great reason to be critical about the Cora, Vetra and Gill writing.
If you managed to keep reading, thanks. If not, to sum it up... again, the more you have time to spend with characters gives the writers more time to show what the characters bring to the romantic options, what type of relationship you are getting out of it, and a more focused and better entertainment. Without it you get either A. Rushed shoehorned situations, B. Unclear characters/ relationship types or C. An unintentional imbalance of players picking.
Miscellaneous thoughts from a character writer: Just some added thoughts here if you want some stuff to think over. None of this stuff has really enough pazazz to be its own topic (or too much and I dont wanna go into the politics of it...) but might be fun for ya'll to chew on:
  • A lot of people felt Jaal should have been romanceable. I know code stuff was involved... but screen time is also a reason. You are around that guy for about 1 hour and 13 minutes worth of time... probably more because he is really good to have on most of the missions. Its an unconscious thing mostly, but again, being around people effects how much you care for them. He also fills a niche that is distinctly lacking from the dating archtypes of people... Friend dating, aka, people you like to hang with so much you date.
  • I won't go into the fact that gay men were really limited in choices between terrible relationship with Gil or Reyes who lies a lot, but I'll note the Jaal thing fixes like... All of their issues there. I didnt read about the code thing until after I beat the game because I went in purposefully dark, but as a character writer I saw that from the start. I wouldnt be surprised if the writers for this game did too and some higher power cut it. In fact, in my line of work that seems not only plausible, but a fact of life I deal with more often than youd think.
  • I'm not a fan of dishing out harsh criticisms to other writers (I've been there.) But if I was asked, Id point out the screen time along with one other issue. They prrrrooooobbbabbbly could have looked closer at dating sims. Mass effect basically has become part action game, part sci-fi RPG, part alien dating sim. I mean really... thats the 3 main genres it fits into. Having your waifu or hasbando (god I hate myself for typing that truth.) match at least a little of the tried and true archetypes that are literally lowering birthrates because of their successfulness isnt the worst idea in the world. I mean dont over do it... please. But its a little true.
  • If you are thinking they will add screen time to fix these issues, which I 100% believe as a writer would; I 100% can tell you wont happen. Patches, text edits, code fixes. All that stuff costs money. Rendering out new scenes, voice acting and new dialog (writing, plus test screen passes) costs A LOT more. Not happening. Best you can hope for is on paid DLC they give the team more screen time. But its likely every minute Vetra gets so does Peebee.
    • A long term, but crappy fix to the above is in game 2, make Peebee not a squad mate. The reason why Liara, tali and garrus get mentioned in the same sentence (aside from all being from game 1) is because Liara's romance was barely any in Mass Effect 2, thus equaling screen time. Again... crappy short term, good long term. I don't like it as a solution, but one I recognize exists.
  • The real fix to this... and its a crapper answer, is MEA2. Look, they heard your feed back... they know you want Jaal to be Bi. They know you want volus options. They (hopefully) know to give equal screen time. Mass effect 1 dating options were also worse than this. But they fixed pretty much everything in ME2. You wont get your fix now, but in MEA2, they will make characters voices clearer and thus the relationships in them will get much better, funnier, cuter, whatever.
  • The writers of ME1 openly admitted to have character bias that messed with their dynamic, and hopefully they make the same realization it happened again. On paper in ME1, they said "dateable, Liara, Ashley, Kaidan" and had way more fun writing Tali and Garrus. Their bias made people like them, and in 2 they made them dateable. Sometimes writers don't realize their bias.
  • Also it seems like people forget this a lot... Those characters had 3 games, aka more screen time. If you want to compare characters, compare them during 1 single game they started in, rather than all 3.
  • Btw, the bais was clearly Jaal, Peebee and Drack. You can see this from their screen time (it always goes back to screen time) likely because when the script cuts came, they survived the most because they had the best bits. Downside is it makes everyone else look less focused of a character... and thus more dull. I'm certain this is a feeling you've had without realizing why.
Last thing I want to say... if you'll still hear me out. Its kinda a plea. As a writer, I seriously don't like an uproar of critical fan feed back, even though I understand it comes from a place of love. A lot of things that are artistic choices (I'm not talking about bad animation, I am talking about style choices, stuff like that) that fans don't love is often "art vs entertainment" discussion that never gets anywhere. Its a tough balancing act and you get it right and no one even notices, or you dip a little too hard one way and everyone blows up, often giving you wrong reasons... So when giving advice, especially when your expertise in the area is "I play a lot of mass effect" be nice, and remember you are the fan... not their master. You are the one feeding them, so you have a right, but pick and choose what you say. Giving bad feed back is worse than saying "It didnt feel right, I don't know why."
Seriously, if you aren't a game designewriteanimator, one of the best things you can ever say to ANY artist is "It didnt feel right, I don't know why." Our job is to make it feel right, or make you feel a certain way. If we don't do it, we failed, but that advice will make us think and ask the correct questions.
The main reason I made this huge post, was to help people understand from a writer a little more of the back workings here. For people to realize "THE GILL RELATIONSHIP SUCKED. I THINK HE WAS A BAD CHARACTER!" probably is wrong, but to say "Gills character was fine, but his relationship with Ryder was super rushed." would be more correct. Hopefully it gives you guys some clarity and cut the writers a bit of slack. This job is really... really hard. Seeing mistakes is a lot easier than making the scenarios where they arise from. Its often trial and error... So hopefully, the next game addresses these.
That was a lot longer than I intended it to be, sooo guess it was a really deep dive. It was more ranty then I hoped, but I wanted to point out the clear imbalance as I saw it from my job. I still loved the game, and am probably more forgiving than most because the unfleshed out characters were still unfleshed out, but at least I could see the direction the writers aimed for, and the potential of them. I'll be around the net today, so I'll chat with ya'll below if you wanna ask anything, or yell at me for saying alien girlfriends had flaws.
Edit: Apparently there's a survey on the unofficial Bioware forum and Peebee is the most popular romance.
Thanks PM_ME_ZED_BARA
submitted by AutumnLantern to masseffect [link] [comments]


2017.02.21 10:21 soapylagoon Let's talk about gay manga

LOL ok I don’t know if anyone will even be into this, but I thought it’d be a fun thing to post so why not.
Awhile back there was a (brief) post discussing BL/Yaoi manga and it’s relationship to this one dude’s identity. So I was thinking about it and I realized that me liking those types of manga were probably a pretty good early indicator of things to come.
I say this because back when I was in middle school/high school, and was consuming this stuff as a “girl,” I did not treat it the same way my female peers did, at all. They were mostly into it for the hot guys, in a sort of “two is better than one” fetish way. Because of this they were still comfortable with otome games, shoujo manga, and that sort of thing, because as long as hot guys were involved, they were happy about it.
On the other hand, I was more interested in the actual relationships between the guys. I was extremely picky about the stuff that I read, looking for manga with good plots or characters. I read the more pornographic stuff when I was like 13 and extremely horny, but then after that totally stopped reading it. My interests drifted towards more shounen-ai type manga, where the characters would kiss or hold hands at the most. Instead of fetishizing the sex the guys were having, I instead would quietly wish I could also hold hands with some guy in the rain. (That’s so embarrassing to type, but there you go, I was pretty lonely in high school.)
I did have some weird obsessions for awhile with what “real gay guys” did and would try and read “real” gay manga, like bara manga, but I just couldn’t get into it. It was full of super muscle-y men, which wasn’t my type at all. (My tastes have changed though, thanks testosterone. Love me some muscle men.)
Overall I just view this with some amusement because some TERFs will sometimes claim that gay trans men are yaoi obsessed straight girls, but obviously that’s not the case. The reality is, I sought out this stuff because I was a gay guy, looking for some type of representation. I couldn’t relate to straight love stories at all, or lesbian ones, so I drifted towards reading gay ones. It didn’t brainwash me into being gay, or trans, LOL.
Nowadays I still read some stuff, but I view it with a more critical eye, because of how problematic the content tends to be. I accept that Japan is still a fairly conservative country, though, so the writing is generally going to be a bit off. In the same way I wouldn’t watch a black and white movie from the 1920s and expect it to be up to date politically, I don’t read yaoi thinking it’s going to be a politically correct experience.
I also don’t really like the idea of straight women turning gay men into a fetish, but on the other hand I do appreciate some of the stories these authors have created. So I’ll go ahead and put it in a moral gray zone for myself.
So queer trans guys and trans masc folks, what are your experiences with BL manga/yaoi? Was anyone else into it during their female presenting days? Do you think it brainwashed you into being trans? (LOL.) I’m honestly interested to know what others think.
submitted by soapylagoon to ftm [link] [comments]


2016.10.15 02:19 only_glutathione Mina åsikter från vad jag har läst, sett och lyssnat på den senaste tiden.

De två senaste åren har jag precis som så många andra på internet läst och lyssnat mycket på saker som händer i Sverige, som inte pratas om förrän det inte längre går att undvika. Men också diverse saker som har varit helt tyst om under hela min uppväxt. De föll nästan som dominobrickor, det ena ämnet ledde till det andra och förstärkte min övertygelse i de föregående.
Börja med dagens och senare års samhälliga och politiska situation. Migrationskrisen, eller flyktingkrisen som det kallas i nyspråk.
I början pratades det om att vi behövde invandring för att klara av att betala pensioner o.s.v. Vi var nära en exakt ersättning, med reproduktionsnivå på ett barn per person, vilket vi fortfarande är. Mer om reproduktionsnivå senare.
Det skulle vara en vinst för Sverige, det var ett kompetensregn och om man var emot invandring fanns det bara en anledning kvar, för allt annat var positivt! Man var rasist, nazist eller främlingsfientlig.
Men sedan lade man märke till SD och undrade vad de tyckte. Deras argument var inte uppenbart rasistiska i min mening, så trotsig som jag är ville jag argumentera deras ståndpunkt i min vardag tills jag får en annan uppfattning. Tino hade de bästa argumenten emot invandring enligt mig.
På den tiden hade epitet som nazist och rasist fortfarande vikt, så jag undersökte vad det innebar. Skolan hade som vanligt gjort ett dåligt jobb på att framföra en balanserad bild. Vart ordet kom ifrån, nationalsocialism hade inte pratats om. Inte heller mycket om situationen i Tyskland innan arbetarpartiet demokratiskt fick makten. Ett fullständigt enormt fokus hade såklart lagts på förintelselägren och antisemitismen. Det är helt enkelt inte intressant. Där finns ingen konflikt. Det är självklart att man fördömer det om man inte är en genuin antisemit, vilket inte många från västvärlden är.
Det intressanta är hur det var ett världskrig, ett ideologiskt krig, ett fruktansvärt krig med flera krigsbrott. Det byggde dessutom på spänningar från ett tidigare världskrig. Det var ett ENORMT komplext krig på grund av hur många länder som var med och alla olika motiv.
Diskussionen runt allt annat än antisemitismen har liksom tystats ner. Om man inte tycker att de allierade gjorde allt rätt och var perfekta hjältar och stoiska beskyddare av rättvisa, så har man fel och är en apologist, en nazist och därför en antisemit som vill massmörda judar.
Man bortser helt från att Tyskland gick från en legendarisk lågkonjunktur till att bli en stormakt på ett par decennier, med flera infrastrukturer som står kvar idag, t.ex. autobahn. Att ryssland svälte sitt folk till den grad att kannibalism blev vanligt, för att producera en armada av pansarvagnar. Att dödssiffran i koncentrationslägren har skrivits ner flera gånger.
Ingen faktisk kritik förs emot nationalsocialism, utan det beblandas med den version av etnontaionalism som Hitler förespråkade. Där etnonationen var en förlängning av evolutionen och de som erövrade världen var den överlägsna människan. Det är åtminstone min tolkning runt deras starka krigiska och expansiva tendenser. Om man bestämt vill beblanda nazism med antisemitism, får man banne mig lämna ordet nationalsocialism ifred, för det är vad Sverige blir om vi går ur EU och stänger gränsen. Vi blir nationalistiska och vi är redan socialistiska sett till världsstandarden.
Det är någonstans här jag börjar undersöka IQ. Läste om det på mensa.se, kollade på intervjuer och presentationer av James Flynn, Charles A. Murray, Richard Lynn och Linda Gottfredson. Kom fram till den radikala slutsatsen att medvetande, och därmed intelligens, är resultatet av gener som interagerar med sin omgivning. Omgivningen kan givetvis vara olika näringsrik o.s.v. - men alla saker lika kommer gener bland annat göra att:
  • Fight-or-flight responsen kommer, och går, olika lätt. MOA-A påverkar detta där mindre effektiva versioner av generna innebär att neurotransmittörerna bryts ner långsammare. En av de dåliga versionerna av MOA-A kallas "krigargenen" och är kraftigt överrepresenterad bland gärningsmän av våldsbrott. Någon som försökt tänka logiskt när ni är arga?
  • Koncentrationer av neurotransmittörer blir olika, balansen därimellan likaså. Detta påverkas av ovan nämnda enzym och dess gen, men även av transporten av aminosyrorna fenylalanin och tryptofan till hjärncellerna, där de är materialet för dopamin och serotonin och dess vidare produkter.
  • Volymen av hjärnan blir olika.
In a large meta-analysis consisting of 88 studies Pietschnig et al. (2015) estimated the correlation between brain volume and intelligence to be about correlation coefficient of 0.24 which equates to 6% variance. Researcher Jakob Pietschnig showed that this strength of the positive association of brain volume and IQ has been overestimated in the literature, but still remains robust. He has stated that "It is tempting to interpret this association in the context of human cognitive evolution and species differences in brain size and cognitive ability, we show that it is not warranted to interpret brain size as an isomorphic proxy of human intelligence differences". Another 2015 study by researcher Stuart J Ritchie found that brain size explained 12% of the variance in intelligence among individuals.
Alla av dessa är uppenbart länkade till IQ, även om de inte förklarar hela skillnaderna själva.
Jag tror de flesta vet att frekvensen av genvarianter är olika bland olika befolkningar. Vi vet redan sedan länge att afrikaner har lägre kranial volym. Det säger som sagt långt ifrån allt. Men sen har vi en högre frekvens av "krigargenen" med. Jag menar inte att peka ut afrikaner specifikt här utan att påpeka att skillnader mellan etniska grupper, raser, folk, vad ni än vill kalla det, finns och ju mer forskning vi gör desto fler skillader kommer hittas och de kommer framstå tydligare. Inte för att de syns bättre på individen, utan för att ingen längre nekar det som alla redan ser. Att olika kulturer (interpersonella relationer och lagar, inte mat, inte musik, inte mode) har vuxit fram på olika världsdelar. Att länder har olika IQ. Läkare är nog närmast denna insikt då de får lära sig att olika etniciteter har olika sjukdomsrisker.
Låt oss tackla ett par saker som sägs om IQ för att förminska dess resultat.
  • Normalt sett syftar IQ på generell intelligens, eller g-faktor.
It is a variable that summarizes positive correlations among different cognitive tasks, reflecting the fact that an individual's performance on one type of cognitive task tends to be comparable to that person's performance on other kinds of cognitive tasks.)
  • IQ är högst ärftligt, med ca 0.75 ärftlighet vid vuxen ålder. Det betyder att dina föräldrars IQ är en bättre indikator än din omgivning, givet att individen inte är undernärd. Bekräftat av tvillingstudier och allmäna adoptionsstudier.
  • IQ test är inte designade för något västerländska eller vita män är bättre på. Bokstäverna är irrelevanta för provet och endast grundläggande aritmatik helt utan siffror används. Det är istället samband av ökande/variabel svårighet man ska förstå. Om denna typ av samband på något vis är till orättvis fördel för västerlänningar får ni gärna förklara hur detta kommer sig, och varför östasiater är bättre än oss.
  • Generell intelligens är inte specifik intelligens, det säger sig självt. Det innebär att man kan vara utmärkt på mattematik och ändå få sämre resultat på IQ-test än någon som är dålig på mattematik. Men den individen som fick bättre resultat är troligtivs bättre på något annat, vare sig det är att skriva, spela spel e.t.c. . Så är det ett sant mått på intelligens? Det är så vitt jag vet inte en enighet på den frågan än. Men det är det bästa vi har, och det gör ett bra jobb på att förutsäga prestanda i arbetsliv och akademia.
Slutligen, om man inte är nöjd med forskningen bakom ras/etniska/folkliga skillnader, be om mer forskning. Forskningsresultaten som finns är minst lika konsekventa som dem inom t.ex. näringslära.
Tillbaka till migrationskrisen. Den svenska arbetsmarknaden kräver praktiskt taget en gymnasieutbildning, och om man vill tjäna mer än en dräglig lön behöver man högskole/universitetsutbildning. Om ursprungsländerna för migranterna är någon indikation på deras IQ landar de flesta på 80-90. Skola ändrar inte på det. Näring har inte förbättrats markant från deras hemländer. Deras hemländer befann sig inte i svält och har tillgång till samma mat som vi har. De kommer aldrig integreras till fullo i arbetsmarknaden, utan majoritieten kommer få lågbetalda jobb, och vara underrepresenterade i jobb som kräver mental ansträngning och teoretisk utbildning. Precis som i USA.
Deras kultur kommer inte att ändras. Deras kvinnosyn och religion kan säkerligen ändras, det tar nog bara en generation, men machokulturen kommer vara kvar. Tendensen till vrede och våld kommer vara kvar. Precis som i USA.
Hur lång tid kommer det ta för en så starkt religiös grupp med stark kulturell identitet att skapa en rörelse lik BLM? Där våld och förstörelse är acceptabelt och den vite mannen är den enda anledningen till att de inte är till fullo representerade på toppen av den sociala och ekonomiska hierarkin?
Faktum är att en majoritet av de som kom hit inte var flyktingar. De var ekonomiska migranter. Man frågas retoriskt "Vem skulle inte göra det?" och svaret är att de flesta skulle det. Heder försvinner snabbt när man ser att man kan få det bättre. Problemet med den typen av immigration är tvåfaldigt. Att det finns miljontals människor som skulle göra det, och att vi har en begränsad budget med vilken vi kan hjälpa ofantligt mycket fler på plats än vi kan integrera (som i regel aldrig kommer lyckas).
Med opportunity loss i tanken har vi skapat ondo i världen i form av svält och utebliven utbildning. För det är där skon klämmer mest hos min humanistiska sida. Att budgeten för bistånd har minskats för att ta hand om dessa människor som fått ge uttryck för sin girighet.
Om vi återgår till den påstådda orsaken till behovet av immigration, reproduktionsnivån, den s.k. demografiska vintern. Det är intressant att det som alla länder i, eller på väg mot demografisk vinter har gemensamt är välstånd. Jag tänker framförallt på Japan, Skandinavien, USA och Kanada. Sydosteuropa, Afrika och sydostasien har inga sådana problem. Andra skillnader är såklart kvinnliga rättigheter, välfärd och IQ. Som någon som funderat mycket på feminism, välfärd, den kvinnliga populationen och dess reproduktiva motivationer lutar jag mot att det är skillnaden.
Centralt för tankegången är att innan teknologin framkommit fanns det ingen garanti att mannen i ett förhållande var den biologiska fadern. Uppenbarligen var motsatsen sann för kvinnan. Det plus att kvinnan blev mer och mer handlingsförlamad ju längre gången hon var innebar att mannen var den som lämnade hemmet och arbetade. Detta var sant i jägar-samlar stadiet och framåt och har troligtvis format vår parbildning och psykologin som leder till den.
Kvinnor som vet att barnet är deras behövde inte lita på sin partners trogenhet utan endast att maten, vattnet och värmen fortsätta komma, samt skydd från externa hot. Bäst mat, vatten, värme och skydd gav bäst odds för kvinnans och barnens överlevnad. För att rikta och sporra mannens arbete sade kvinnan vad hon ville ha härnäst. Därav kom mannens tävlingsinriktan, och kvinnans gnäll.
Eftersom resurser krävs för att barnafödsel samt uppväxt ska lyckas är mannens roll högst nödvändig. Om en kvinna blir gravid med en man som inte förser henne med resurser krävs en annan man, annars riskerar hon sin hälsa samt förlorar ett års fertilitet och sitt rykte. Det betyder att hon behöver hitta en hanrej, och att hon behöver kunna manipulera honom/undanhålla sanningen/ljuga bra nog att han tror att det är hans barn.
Att som man vara kontrollerande eller känna sig hotad av sin partners manliga umgänge när man själv inte är närvarande är förståeligt. De som inte var oroliga har inte längre avkomma i världen.
In more recent history, as a global average, about four or five women reproduced for every one man.
Detta innebär såklart inte att 75-80% av kvinnor hanrejade deras män, eftersom det kan ha varit polygamiska förhållanden, eller ännu mer troligt, seriella reproduktiva förhållanden, där mannen tog en fru eller två efter hans dåvarande fru inte kunde få barn. Abraham i bibeln är nog ett välkänt historiskt exempel.
Men man ska inte glömma att, akten att hanreja sin man är en legitim reproduktionsstrategi, eftersom man får både bättre gener för sin avkomma, och resurserna från en hängiven man, om man lyckas.
Industriella revolutionen kommer. Snart har kvinnan allt hon någonsin kunnat önska sig och mer. Gnället riktas till annat, får en annan form i offentliga forum. Feminism skapas.
Jämnställdhet framkommer. Män har helt plötsligt inte några resurser kvinnan inte redan har eller kan få av staten.
Det är här vikten av att feminism är en förlängning av kvinnlig natur kommer in. Vi har likhet inför lagen. Kvinnor håller alla kort reproduktivt eftersom det finns spermabanker och det är lätt att bara sluta ta p-piller i förhållanden. Flickor får högre betyg än pojkar för samma resultat i skolan. Det finns ingen anledning för feminism längre.
Fast då kollar de på "resultaten" på arbetsmarknaden. Där är män dominanta i inkomst och ledarpositioner. Det förklaras lätt genom att normalfördelningen av män är bredare. Det är större varians. Det innebär att det finns fler av högt IQ och lågt IQ. Om välbetalda arbetsplatser kräver högt IQ och hög utbildning är det tillräcklig förklaring. Att det finns forskning som pekar på att män har upp till 5 IQ högre än kvinnor skulle bara vara bonus för att förklara den skillnaden.
Det är som om det vore i mäns natur att ge kvinnor vad de vill ha, precis som det är i kvinnors natur att gnälla. Vart kommer det sluta?
Men vad har detta med vår reproduktionsnivå att göra?
I ett land med sexuell liberalism, ingen stigma runt skiljsmässor, ingen ekonomisk risk vid byte av partner, där män inte har monopolet på resurser de under en evolutionärt signifikant tid fört till bordet, vad finns kvar för män? I stort blir vi alla hanrejar retroaktivt och får konstant tävla om vem som bär byxorna i hemmet. Det enda som skiljer behandlingen man får av kvinnor är hur man ser ut, och det spelar ingen roll hur dom själva ser ut. Alla tycks förvänta sig Orlando Bloom, Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum eller George Clooney. Så fort man når någon sorts tröskel vänder det som ett jävla mynt, som för evigt förändrar hur man ser på kvinnor. Helt plötsligt är man inte jobbig längre och alla ler. (källa)
Män rivs ner konstant, blir tillsagda att vara mer feminina i form av känslighet, följa sina drömmar o.s.v. Samtidigt är det bara maskulinitet och resurser som respekteras. Vi skäms ut om vi inte är sexuellt aktiva, vi fördöms offentligt om vi är sexuellt aktiva utanför relationer, vi fördöms av alla om vi är i relationer där vi inte respekteras. Det finns inget "safe space" för män som inte är bland den maskulina eliten när det gäller kvinnor.
Det offentliga forumet måste inse att vi är en sexuellt dimorfisk art. Män och kvinnor har helt olika förutsättningar för att lyckas i skolan, på arbetsmarknaden och på köttmarknaden. Liberalism och jämnställdhet är inte alltid det bästa alternativet. Frihet innebär stratifiering. I vissa fall är det bäst och nödvändigt, som på arbetsmarknaden och troligtvis i skolan. I andra är det inte det, som i könsfrågor.
Jag, precis som en till synes växande grupp andra, lutar åt att inte beblanda mig med kvinnor mer än nödvändigt. MGTOW kallas det. Men Go Their Own Way. Det är ingen kult, rörelse eller grupp. Det är en filosofi om något. TFM gjorde nyss en video som ganska väl beskriver MGTOW och svar på den vanliga kritiken. Vissa saker handlar om en ekonomisk riskbedömning som inte är lika relevant i Sverige. Här handlar det till hundra procent om uttrycket kvinnans natur tar i vårat samhälle.

Kom ihåg: undantag varken bekräftar eller motbevisar regeln. Jag generaliserar mycket men fokusera på om generaliseringen är rimlig, inte på om det finns undantag.

Så vad tycker ni? Vad är anledningen till vår demografiska vinter? Vad är fel på socialnationalism? Borde vi fortfarande vara ute efter jämnställdhet mellan könen och etniciteter? Jag menar detta borde vara diskussionsunderlag för ett par dagar!
submitted by only_glutathione to svenskpolitik [link] [comments]


2016.07.08 06:49 throwawaybreaks I'm putting together a relationship contract... Kinda long and boring but I could use some help from y'all.

So this is a new relationship I'm entering into... First post diagnosis/starting CBT (DBT isnt really available here).
I'm putting together a contract with myself for how i will behave. My new... Um... Whatever I'm supposed to call her... Knows nothing about it and there is nothing pertaining to how she's meant to be.
Thing is, I love rules, organization and stability, they make me feel safe, kinda a security blanket for when i'm scaring myself with the being cray.
so basically I'm asking for your help with the list, especially the bits that pertain most to BPD, since its kinda new to me, but you're all welcome to suggest changes to any of it. Thanks in advance to anyone who bothers reading this wall o'text let alone responding
My contract to me, regarding H---a:
Comunication:
You will listen to her. Her thoughts and feelings are valid, and she can clearly teach you a lot.
You will treat her with the respect she deserves at all times, regardless of mood or inebriation.
No being pushy.
She does not need to hear your every thought, written or otherwise. you are not as interesting as you think.
She speaks english absurdly well, but it is not her mother tongue. You speak icelandic well enough and will get better with time. Markmíðinn þinn er að tala bara íslensku með hana þegar þú gætir (það er leyft minna og 100% ef hún er til í að tala á/æva sig á ensku við þig).
Sex:
Sex will always be openly and honestly discussed so neither party does anything they're not 100% into or willing to try, and neither party feels it is taboo to discuss trying anything.
You will not rationalize your way into doing shit you're not comfortable with because "she might leave if you dont". That has always fucked your head up, and the relationship follows.
BPD specific:
If she expresses concern about a behavior, it will be modified before it is a problem. If she seems uneasy about a behaviour you will bring it up with her.
She is human, with flaws. She is also amazing. You will not put her on a pedestal, and you will not demonize her.
Space is important. Make sure she has hers, and let her know when you need yours.
Dont inflict your moods on her, and when you cant help fix her problems, be supportive, not codependent.
Your self auditing sucks and you know it. If you're having a heated argument, feeling suicidal (in any way regarding her), or over the top ecstatic, you will do your best to recognize these as bpd issues, and explain that to her.
Couple-y things:
Time allowing, there will be at least one date a week that you instigate. Even if that is a homecooked (by you) meal and netflix in bed, depending on budget, collective mood, and available time. They can be postponed, but not cancelled.
She has your friends, you have yours. You dont have to like all of each-others' friends, but you do have to respect their friendships.
She can hang with her friends. You can hang with yours. You dont have to hang out all together.
You will prioritize mutually enjoyable activities, engage in activities she prefers, and invite her (not demand) she engage in those you prefer.
Self-improvement and maintenance:
You will not let yourself go in any respect.
Your feelings on new age things notwithstanding, give yoga an honest try. Get the fuck over yourself.
You will also work on having non-feral hygiene regimens. You didn't always live like a wild dog, laundry and showering are no longer optional.
Your issues are different than hers. You will support any self-improvement she decides to undertake regardless of whether you consider it necessary, and work on yourself even if she finds them not to be pressing concerns.
Self-improvement benefits you, but also her. Whenever you're wallowing in self-pity instead of becoming a better you, you will snap the fuck out of it for her sake if you cant nenn it for yours.
You will try the things she likes, even if you are skeptical about them: you like her, then you will most likely like the things that make her the way she is, and the things she enjoys are part of that. Emulate the things about her that impress you and draw you to her.
Ask to borrow her books after she reads them. Your taste is subject to confirmation bias, reading what she finds interesting will improve your mind, and it will help you to better understand hers.
If you move in together:
Housework is a joint responsibility. It doesnt matter who works more or who earns more, you do your share.
Pull your weight financially insofar as you are able.
You will contribute to household furnishings. H---a does not share your minimalist nomadic lifestyle, and having a house that doesnt look like a barracks is probably important to her.
You will prepare a minimum of one homecooked meal a week for the two of you, whenever you both are home.
Frugality. It's not just your money anymore.
No smoking inside. Not even out the window. Not even if it's really cold.
submitted by throwawaybreaks to BPD [link] [comments]


2016.07.02 09:11 yus456 A story I read on Quora

"Short answer: It feels different depending on where I am and who I am with. In the freedom of my room, it feels liberating.
Long story:
Old Habits Die Hard One thing that leaving Islam was not is that it wasn't easy. Being born into a family of religious clerics and growing up as a Sayyed in a small village near Sheikhupura (Pakistan), Islamic thoughts, practices and rituals have had a deep and strong impact on me. Even though it has been 5+ years since I decided to stop identifying myself as muslim, there are countless actions of mine that make people assume I am a muslim. Many of my small habits are Islamic. I still say alhumdulillah when I sneeze, I recite inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajeoon when I hear of someone's demise, I recite ayat al-kursi when I am scared, I say assalam-o-alikum wa rehmat ullah when I look sideways before crossing the road (that's an odd one), I greet with Assalam-o-alikum, and my first reaction to any non-islamic comment is to jump up with an ayat or hadith. I am always evaluating my actions and I have to constantly interrrupt myself to see which of my actions I can justify without resorting to religious arguments. Those I can't, I try to shun as soon as possible.
Right now I identify myself as non-religious and in pursuit of the truth.
Background As I have said, I am a Sayyid. What it means is that I can trace my lineage back to Muhammad (pbuh). I have two books at my home that record my lineage (shajrah as it is known); one on paternal side and one on maternal side. My great grandfather converted and became a Sunni, hence my family, but my larger family on paternal side and almost the whole maternal side is Shiah. As a result of his decision, my great grandfather left his village (2 km from mine) and came to the village I was born in, in late 19th century. He constructed the first mosque in the village (which is largest of 7 mosques now) and taught children of the village how to read Quran and other basic Islamic beliefs and practices. However, he refused to take any payment for this and would go back to cultivating his land after Isha or Fajr prayers. My grandfather and father continued this and as a result, four generations of my fellow villagers proclaim my family as their teachers. However, they do not have a peer-mureed relationship. All in all, my family commands a high degree of respect in all adjacent areas due to combinition of these factors. My extended family has a few notable religious scholars (Two were involved in secterian violence, one of whom was ordered to be shot-at-sight by Zia-ulo-Haq. As a result of their fame, they afford to travel internationally to give sermons and lectures in UK and North America) and numerous imams. My shiah cousins have their imam bargahs and they arrange majalis, maatim, and other rituals. My sunni cousins celebrate eid-e-milaad and have shabina on 27th of Ramazan. All the children play with fireworks on Shab-e-bara'at.
Since we did not earn our livelihood from mosque and religion, and cultivate our lands, we are relatively better off financially. All children in my family, on both sides, are sent to good schools and colleges. Since the girls are married soon after and the boys prefer agriculture, job or peeri-mureedi over education, very few end up going to universities (in Pakistan or abroad). My parents took this very seriously and spent all their life savings on our education. This, among many other things, make me love them above all others. I studied at private boarding school, then at one of the most prestigious universities of the country and I am set to pursue a masters from USA next year.
Personal Connection Most children in my family finish naazra quran by the age of 5. I don't remember doing so but my parents told me I did. I do remember sitting at the pulpit teaching recitation of Quran to children before I was in 5th grade. I started debating on religious issues and read compilations of Hadith by the age of 10. I slaughtered my first lamb myself at the age of 13. I registered the Nikaah (marriage) and led the ceremony for a couple at the age of 15. I used to write and recite Naats. I have been part of two exorcisms, drafted one talaaq (divorce) agreement, spoken at several public occasions, led numerous prayers in mosque and have read Quran with translation and tafseer, major parts of Bokhari and Muslim, several other religious books from 100+ years old library at my home that has books dating back to 1902, all on religion.
I was so religious that I refused to utter the word sex in biology class. I used to close my eyes when there was a kiss in the movie. I broke a friend's phone when I discovered it had dirty stuff in it. When I couldn't stay punctual in daily prayers, I used to hit myself with forks or jumping jacks so Allah wouldn't punish me in hereafter. I openly condemned and was part of a procession against blasphemy cartoons in 2005. I prayed in late hours of Ramazan nights. I even learnt basic arabic, good enough to understand recitation of Quran and I often cried when the words hit me. It was a beautiful experience indeed. Once in my teens, when my friends insisted that I sit with them to watch American Pie, I closed my eyes, actually fell asleep, woke up after the movie and thanked Allah for this blessing.
I wanted to be a good muslim. I hated myself for not being one.
The Journey In last year of my high-school, I was having lots of problems with the way my life was. I had two main concerns with regards to religion; concept of God, and morality.
Concept of God: I watched Dr. Zakir Naik on Peace TV as he proclaimed that all major religions have the same concept of God including Hinduism. I wondered whether they were all right or all wrong and what made Islam so special in either case. To resolve this, I went to the library at my home and read Bhagavad Gita, Bible, Ramayana, and Guru Garanth Sahb. The Omnipotent paradox drove me nuts. The reward and punishment criterion as laid down by Allah didn't make sense to me since I was horrified by the thought that Mother Teresa would go to hell. I also read the God Delusion and watched dangerous documentaries including Atheism talks and Dangerous Knowledge. The more I studied, the more I grew confused. So I asked my father. To his great credit, he sat down and discussed the issues I was facing. He even took mathematical and scientific approaches towards God and his designs. I remember him reading Harun Yahya or watching National Geographic or surfing the internet early in the morning to find scientific answers to my questions. He even relearnt about concept of infinity and limits when I asked him how can hell be a bottomless pit (as mentioned in para 30 in Quran). Not even once did he get angry on my questions and he always tried to take interest into my pursuits. I went on to read Logic and Philosophy at university and studied religions in further detail. The last nail in the coffin was Karen Armstrong's History of God and the website Scale of the Universe that made me classify God as an artificial and result of human thoughts. Morality: A sentence from Da Vinci Code stuck to my mind that went something like 'an angel who helps me defeat my enemy is the devil in his point of view'. Morality and the concept of right and wrong started appearing as two sides of a coin. I only concerned myself with smaller questions that concerned my daily experience. I read about various fatwas given at various times to justify a previously prohibited act or to bar a fully allowed substance. My hypothesis was that an absolute God will have absolute standards to weigh actions and things and these would be time and circumstance invariant. I wondered whether evolution was false or were we children of Adam and Eve only. This meant that their children would have had to practice incest implying that we were all illegitimate offsprings. I couldn't accept that. If one thing is wrong today, it must have been wrong then. Noble lies and loaded truths all confused me as to which was sanctioned as what. Blasphemy case particularly eluded my comprehension since nowhere in the Quran did I find an enforcement of death penalty or even a strict human reaction to blasphemy. Later on, the criterion of declaring kafirs, assessment of rape case in Islamic law, the notion that mmost terrorists are muslims (since a terrorist has nothing but his religion), made me confounded.
The list grew longer. I grew impatient. So until further enlightenment, I decided to become an atheist.
I also suspended my beliefs of good and bad and decided to evaluate everything myself. I also promised myself that I will do all the things I can by the age of 20 to see if it was all wrong. I would discover for myself and not let others dictate it. As a result, the first thing I turned to were drugs and porn, things that I had long abstained from and considered the height of evil I could do. I deliberately watched porn in order to see why it was so wrong. I explored its taxonomy and read about its effects. As fro drugs, I tried all I could get my hands on. I went from cigarettes to cigars and then subsequently hash, weed, glue, bhang, heroine, cocaine, and liquor of so many different kinds. I never got addicted to anything and I would just try. Much later, I also found a girlfriend and a relationship not allowed in Islam. Initially, it was for finding if it was right, later on I continued because she is just right.
I also had other issues plaguing my mind. My grandmother, with whom I had strong attachment, passed away. My exams were looming closer and I was becoming more paranoid. There were other things I wouldn't mention here. All in all, this was too much for me. The thought that if I die and there is no God, I will have lived life in vain haunted me. The fact that if I lived like this, I was more growing hopeless and confused everyday made me even more scared. When my father noticed I was not praying, he tried to talk some sense into me. He then asked me to come for his sake. This happened for a few weeks. One day when he took me with him to mosque, I couldn't bear the thought that I was praying to a God that I wasn't sure was there and basically if he wasn't I was just performing a ritual in a shady load-shedding ridden place that faced west. I grew so restless that I left the prayer in the middle and came back home and sat on the stairs. My mom asked me what happened but I was silent. She asked me to come for food. I was contemplating these thoughts when my father, enraged upon discovery that I had abandoned prayer in such a manner in a mosque that his forefathers had built and taken care of and in front of people his family had spent years teaching Islam and Quran, came home. He asked me whether I did leave the mosque in this manner. I nodded. He started beating me up. I tried to stay rigid. My mom was dumbstruck at hearing what I had done. My father slapped and punched me so much that i had to crouch and then he kicked me until I was lying spread eagled on the floor. He was breathing heavily and tired as hell. His face grew red and he was clearly in agony. At the end, he was whimpering and his voice was hoarse. I tried not to cry but tears escaped my anyway. My mother gave me water and hugged me and I stayed with my head in her lap, crying that night. All she said to me was, "We are responsible for you. We have to face our parents and our great grandfather Muhammad (pbuh) on the day of judgement", as she kissed my forehead several times.
My father refused to talk to me for several weeks. During this period, I passed my high school with flying colors but my father refused to hug me on my result. On my sister's wedding, my father wouldn't take a sip from the glass of water I served but asked the servants to bring another. It took my nearly 3 years, 7 months, and a scholarship at Florida Institute of Technology to make him finally resume his normal behavior with me.
After that episode, I went back to my boarding school. The troubles still haunted me. Since, visits from my parents were scarce now and my exams were approaching fast, I grew more confused and paranoid. Islam, on which my whole life and family and system was based on, seemed to have a shaky foundation. The experience with my family was only the first episode of many that I envisioned in my mind. I kept pondering over things that were of no immediate concerns. I couldn't focus on studies and the 16 year old me was a stupid person indeed. I started becoming a recluse. At first, I stopped participating in any mischief, group activity or sports. I bunked classes. Then I started skipping meals. My housemaster called me and asked why I was absent and I would make up some excuse. He would let me have food later on because of my good reputation but I would just have a few morsels and all. I then decided to move my bed from my room to store room and I would lie there thinking and thinking about so many issues, so many wrongs that one way or another seemed to end up or start with religion. After several attempts, my friends left me. They knew I wouldn't come to participate in next round of water fight or binge watching Fast & Furious series or downloading porn on school wifi using VPNs. My room mate was a source of strength in those days. He refused to let me behave like this. He would come and discuss with me. I wouldn't. So he made me write all things that came to my mind. And he would sneak up on me and read the journal when I wasn't there. This helped him gain insight into what I was thinking and he would then discuss things of the form with me. I still thank him for breaching my privacy everytime we meet. Even if he didn't discuss the issues directly, he would just tell me how good and strong and talented I was and how I can improve my focus on studies. He would come and tell me to sit up and do past papers with him. I pushed him away. I told him to leave me alone and mind his own business but he persisted.
However, it wasn't enough. My frustrations grew larger and having shut everyone out, the intervals between my meals grew longer and my sleep became shorter. Distraught of my family, religion, life, God, and future, one day I decided to commit suicide.
I went to a hotel and to its top floor, just after sunset. I saw the sunset and looked miserably at the birds going home. I approached the aisle and held onto it with shaky legs. I stood there, holding on to the railing behind me. Thinking of a God whom I couldn't find, a religion that had messed up the world, my family's legacy that held no meaning, my life that was shitty and useless, my future that was bleak, my father who was angry and far away, my friends who no longer called me to play soccer with them, sins that I had committed, prayers that I had spent so much time on, verses that were now not so beautiful, hell that was awaiting me. I looked down. My eardrums were beating with my loudly thumping heart. My legs were shaky and my arms were barely holding onto the railing. I looked down and I told myself how stupid, shitty, confused, useless and hopeless I was and how this is the best option I have left myself. I justified everything that I had done, although I couldn't.
Here is an excerpt from my diary:
Suicide was easy until I stepped on the edge. ... I have always been afraid of heights but there I was, my legs shaking, my heart pounding, my eardrums beating, my arms down, frustrations, depressions and self made issues getting hold of me, I stepped over the railing, looked down and closed my eyes. A flashback began; my mother’s face, my siblings’ arms, my father’s hug, my best friend’s secrets, the middle of “Lord of War”, the climax of “Acts of Faith”, the beat of “Billy Jeans”, my first kiss, my first cigarette, my first trophy, my first goal, the last mischief I had made, the last satisfying prayer I had said and the last obsession of mine all came to me. The tempest subsided.
I opened my eyes and looked at myself, what a masterpiece I was, one I couldn’t defeat or destroy. I smiled. I smiled like crazy. I smiled for a long time.
To this day I haven’t forgotten that smile and that sense of felicity.
The Results I have come to believe that it is all temporary and I have made peace with my inability to know for sure whether or not there is a God. Whether he is or he is not, I think of him as Rockstar North, the architects of GTA but not responsible or involved in the damage you do in the game.
My God if he exists somewhere outside the observable universe, doesn't care if I lie or masturbate or don't believe in him. He is so supreme he has better things to care about and appreciate. If he doesn't exist then I only have this one life to live, which I shall to the greatest extent. Muhammad (pbuh) was a great man indeed. If Quran is the word of God then he was immensely lucky to have been given the task. If its not then I admire his command on the Arabic language and the beauty of the verses of this long poem. I also consider him a good historian, great psychologist, good general and a progressive ruler for his time and place. Although he cannot compete with Cyrus in terms of Human Rights or with Rome in terms of grandeur or Egypt's Muquqas regarding civilization. I respect people of all faiths. I value lives of all minorities and majorities. I don't judge people. I believe everyone has something to teach me. Everyone has choices and freedom to make them. I am still undecided. I will renounce God if I have enough proof that he doesn't exist. I will select a God(s) if I ever find the true one(s) out of millions of Gods listed on http://www.godchecker.com/ and will select and follow the religion then. I refrain from having religious discussion of any kind. Usually people in my region don't really read much so I end up making them either angry or hurt once their arguments are nullified. People who do read know so much that I choose to stay shut and listen. Either way, religious discussions are out of questions and I hope Quora makes sure this anonymity is not breached so I don't expect legal notices regarding hereticism or blasphemy slapped against my forehead any soon." https://www.quora.com/How-did-it-feel-to-leave-Islam
submitted by yus456 to exmuslim [link] [comments]


2015.04.24 01:13 Gbgarn Jag vill ha en flickvän

Tja. (inspirerad av snuben som letade band)
Jävligt trött på att vara singel. Letar efter något seriöst här nu. Jag är 20, bor i göteborg, har fast jobb och bostadsrätt (5a, du får gärna flytta in. Har för mycket plats). Jag är en tvärskön snubbe med (för) mycket humour.
Letar efter dig som är snygg, bra i sängen, gillar tv-spel, fantasy/sci-fi-böckefilm och hårdrock. Jag utlovar fantastiskt sex och en underbar pojkvän. Bara seriösa beds söka date, och letar långvarit.
submitted by Gbgarn to sweden [link] [comments]


2014.05.16 22:04 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: We created Sportsfriends, and other games such as QWOP and B.U.T.T.O.N. AUA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-05-16
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Hey, bennett, it's james. what did i get in prototype studio? grades aren't up yet. Hey, all of reddit: what grade should I give James for this class?
Well, since he had to ask... F. That's how it works, right??
Truthfully are any of your good at QWOP, how far can you go? True story: I recorded the successful running footage of QWOP they used in The Office
Is there a YouTube video somewhere where I can watch this? I don't watch the Office and I find it unbelievable that anyone could actually run in QWOP. There's over 13000 videos on youtube of people playing QWOP. Some of them are super skilled! Look at the speedruns.
What are some other local multiplayer games we should be keeping an eye on? Already had a bunch of friends over to play Sportsfriends. Can't express how much fun all the games are. Great job! Loving the look of Kyoto Wild, by the Hyper Light Drifter guy. So nice. And I highly recommend the currently-in-progress Push Me Pull You which is like Human-Centipede-The-Game.
What have you got planned? Fuck man QWOP was some real shit, pole riders was hilarious :D. Home computer release of Sportsfriends, then making a ton of new stuff over the summer. Working on a steam version of QWOP and a bunch of free games, that's the plan.
What are some of your favorite house rules for J.S. Joust? Yeah, chair joust. Vine here
Where is Ramiro? Have you killed him? He's somewhere on a boat in southeast Asia. He's the one Sportsfriend who actually remembers to take holidays!
Love Sportsfriends - the two players on one controller feature is really innovative and clever. Thanks so much. Can you talk about the 4 player barrier of local multiplayer? I know, I know. No one has 6 friends (except Doug). It seems to me the magic happens when there are more players in the room, even when they're not playing. Games like Killer Queen Arcade are so fun because the number of local players - is this the future or just a gimmick? Sad to say, but PS4, Xbone and the popular Windows XInput drivers all only support 4 controllers at once. I made a chess game for 16 players at once but it required a special DLL and isn't super-compatible. I'm really excited about making games for huge numbers of players, though.
What are your personal bests for Q.W.O.P.? 50m. I don't shimmy though, shimmying is for the weak.
One feature in the original QWOP I wish was included is a timer. Anyone can beat qwop, but not everyone can beat it in 1m30s. I want to show my dominance that way. That's a pretty amazing score.
How on earth do you get to the secret sky level on Pole Riders? We've tried everything. Obviously you haven't tried everything. Come on, biar_rose, don't make up lies.
What ever happened to the game that Foddy was making with Pen Ward? Did that ever happen? Urgh, I really have to do that sometime soon! We came up with a design, but we just haven't managed to find a weekend when we're both free. I know, I'm awful :(
Right - so why no 8 player Hokra? 4 controllers shared? Or 8 player split screen Pole Riders? Ramiro showed an 8-player Hokra at Indiecade in 2012... I think he decided in the end it was too chaotic to be fun. For most games, you need to design them with a certain number of players in mind.
For Pole Riders, I think it would be very hard to read if there were 8 players?
The big question is when will see the PC release? I've been playing the Super Pole Riders beta, but got spoiled on all those other levels and PAX Prime/XOXO. A PC beta is going to backers ASAP, just trying to eliminate some thorny bugs. Then once that's been through the wringer, we'll do a full PC release on Steam, (Mac Windows and Linux)
I know a Backer Update is on the way, but is there any chance that I will be playing the Mac Beta this weekend? Doug is typing a backer update right this second! Short answer, yes there is a chance.
How do you all pay the bills? Is it entirely through game dev? Noah, Ramiro and I all teach game design at local colleges - I teach at NYU Game Center. Also, QWOP qwop.
What were you guys thinking while creating QWOP? Like what was running through your minds, or why? I wanted to make a game like Summer Games or Track 'N Field, which I loved as a kid, but I also wanted to make a game like Elasto Mania, or Ski Stunt Simulator. The rest just falls out of my abiding hostility towards my players
If you had to describe the experience of being on Kickstarter, with all that entails, in 3 words, what would they be? 'A Rollercoaster Ride'. Truthfully, it's really heartening to get funded on Kickstarter and we were enormously grateful to our fans and supporters, but it's also a LOT of work, and it's not free money in any sense.
I keep hearing that cross-buy works from PS3 to PS4, but not the other way around. Just curious, is that a Sony issue? It's a super complicated issue that has to do with how our contracts were drawn up (before the PS4 was announced). Unfortunately we can't really go into more detail than that, for legal reasons.
Pole Riders and Barabariball are our favs because we can do 1v1's pretty much whenever, haven't done Joust yet but we're just waiting for more people. Any plans of doing more games similar to this? Maybe adding more via DLC or an update or something? It almost killed us doing this many games at console levels of quality but I'll definitely be making more multiplayer games, for my website and for steam.
It's a sport for my body type! Get On Top is certainly a great take on... Did you just send me a link to a quarter-century old game that features a sport with three teams on the field at once? HOW. If knowing about Amiga games can qualify me as a wizard, then let me get my robe and wand!
How much more time does it take to port the same game to PS3 vs PS4? We're using Gaijin Games' cross-platform framework that they used for Bit Trip Runner, which cut down the time significantly, but it's still a lot of work. It took me and one of our programmers about a month to get it running and then another 3 or 4 to iron out all the kinks. The PS4 tools and devkit are pretty great, but generally speaking, new platforms are weird and full of bugs.
I'm really excited to play Sportsfriends but sadly I have no PS3/PS4 so I'm waiting for the PC version which I have a few questions about: Will the PC version have any differences compared to the PS versions? They'll be very similar, but the PC versions will have some advantages and some drawbacks compared to the PS versions. You should be able to share your Hokra levels with other people, and use a variety of controller types, and there will hopefully be some options for running Joust with no screen. You won't have to content with people calling up the system menu when they accidentally hit the PS or Xbox home buttons out of excitement. On the downside you probably won't be able to use Dualshock controllers in Joust, since their accelerometers aren't exposed in the PC drivers.
I just played sportsfriends earlier this week. It was great. It also featured my group of friends having enough people to actually see the 2v2 Super Pole Riders Sudden Death Mode. We could not continue playing for like 5 mins after from the laughter. Especially since the people who played before were just expecting the 1v1 version. Who's idea was that? Whichever one of you came up with that, you deserve a medal. Seriously. I haven't been so amazingly surprised by a game in a long time. Edit: my max xpm in a game of Hokra was 337.something. Do I get an award? Edit2: I see that Bennett did SPR, but I assume there was at least a little collaboration. So is he solely responsible? And can you update the game to allow for permanent Sudden Death Mode? Our programmer Jonathan Whiting helped me to port the first alpha of Super Pole Riders from hardware-accelerated Flash to C++, but otherwise I did all the design, code, art and music.
I was a big fan of playing Winner vs Loser and Too Many Ninjas few years ago in high school, what's your best time/score on those? I cracked 15 seconds in 1-player Winner vs. Loser (though that's just the training mode). In TMN I got 142.
Not now of course the game just came out (and congrats again on it releasing). But will there ever be a permanent toggle to get FLOP and Get On Top added to the menu? And figured I would ask... any Hints for the secrets in Hokra and Barabariball? I really didn't think that the secret games would get discovered so fast! If I had known, I might have put a toggle and added them to the menu... but at least they're pretty quick to boot up. Adding them to the menu might make sense in a patch.
Giantbomb Crew, best crew or bestest crew? Also, do you have any beef with Dave Lang? If not, can you pretend to have beef with Dave Lang and call him out? We're super grateful to the Giantbomb guys for their interest and support. It's so nice to see jaded old-timers having a blast with our games...
You seem to have built up/ been part of an awesome indie game community. Any tips on creating a thriving community? I don't think we can take credit for building it up, that should go to people like Derek Yu and Stephen Lavelle and Terry Cavanagh and Babycastles. But we have been lucky to be part of several awesome communities, both the local 'new arcade' scene in NYC and the global scene of indie developers that coalesced around TigSource in the mid-aughts.
There's only one tip I can give, which is to show your work early and often.
Geh I'm late, but since there's a looming steam release, what about XBLA? Any plans? It would have to be without JS Joust, since none of the microsoft controllers has a light or an accelerometer built into it.
Question for Bennett: are you still good friends with the guys from Cut Copy? Do you ever wonder about what it would have been like to stay in the band? I still hang out with them, so I have a good idea of what it would have been like. My liver thanks me every day!
What do you think of Pocahontas? Personally, I haven't seen it. Should I see it? History is written by the victors. You can be a winner too if you go to see Pocahontas.
I've started playing more local multiplayer games recently (ex: TowerFall, Starwahl, etc. - I can't wait for SportsFriends to come out on Steam) and I find them so much more fun than online multiplayer due to that old console games-like feeling. What do you think is the future for this genre of video game in the future? Will more game devs work on these types of games in your opinion? The way we think about it is that we're trying to buck the trend, which has been away from local multiplayer and toward single-player or networked-multi only. If we succeed, there will be more local multiplayer games in the future, and we'll be pretty happy about that. But we have to create the kind of super-rewarding experiences that we had with local multiplayer games as kids.
I'd love for you to release a new foddy.net game soon. I'd like to put something on foddy.net soon! I can't force small game ideas to come though, they just come as they will.
What was your inspiration for these simple yet unique flash games and. Does the development team ever play against each other in these games? We're actually thinking of streaming some of these old games, if there's interest!!
Why did you only release on PS3/PS4??? Steam release is coming.
Do you plan to offer some commandline tools for the pc/mac/linux versions, to start directly into a game? My usecase would be running js joust on a headless machine. This is in the plans for the public PC release, yes. We've heard from a few people with similar wishes.
Bennett - do you know Eric Mandelbaum? I was in his class and he shamed me in front of everyone for admitting to beating QWOP, and said you were a friend. Yeah, Eric's a great friend of mine, and also kind of a genius. You're lucky to have him as a prof!
Afternoon gentlemen, 1) Are you guys adequately prepared for the wave of personal injury lawsuits that will inevitably come out of the J.S.J. Movepocalypse of 2014? 2) How long before JSJ is the highlight of the Summer Olympics and what country would dominate in it? Lube would probably make it extremely dangerous!
I picked up Sportsfriends last week and am having a blast with it. Can we expect any content updates or have you folks moved onto bigger and better things? We're still hoping to do a PSN patch but it's not decided as of yet. I know Doug was keen to get custom music into the PS4 version, for example, but it's not supported in the PS4 system software yet. We want to fix a few lingering bugs and if I can find a way to nerf Noah when he's playing me in BaraBariBall, that would be great too.
We probably don't have the resources to do a whole lot of extra levels or characters, though.
Bennett Foddy, I am a huge fan of yours. My friends and I still play pole riders on a weekly basis, and I also requested you for an AMA a month ago or so. Also sun god is down, and I really really really want to play it. Oh, and my question is what tips do you have for new, prospective game designers? Yeah, I want to get Sun God back up. A summer project! Thanks for liking it!!
Tips for prospective game designer: people will tell you to just make a bunch of games, but the truth is you need to PLAY a lot of games. New ones, old ones, free ones, AAA ones. Quentin Tarantino says he watches 200 films every year, in theaters, that's what you have to do.
Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses? I think I'd rather be a horse-sized duck. I'd be all like this
Why did you guys decide to hide Get on Top? I think me and my friends have played that even more than the other four. (not that sportsfriends isnt all i have played since it came out) Also Bennett Rainbow highway is awesome. I have a soft spot in my heart for secret or hidden content. As a teenager I loved Lotus Esprit Turbo Challenge 2 which has a secret game hidden in it.
What games would the greatest local multiplayer tournament include? Seconding doug on the classics but I would pick different ones.
Track 'n field - Warrior (1979) - Off The Wall (Sente) - Warlords - Biplane Duel
As you are in development for linux/mac/pc what kind of controller have you tested so far - especially for js joust. And do you know what is the maximum amount of player you can connect to linux/max? as you stated already for windows it looks like 4. Yup, 4 is basically the limit for windows because the underlying subsystems use XInput rather than DirectX. On the Mac you can have up to 7 players in Joust, not sure about Linux.
Did you get any death threats for games like QWOP? No, but I did get some great hatemail. A badge of honor amongst us evil-aligned game designers.
Bennett, has anyone figured out how to do the secret SPR taunt yet? One of my students claims to have worked it out, but I haven't seen it in action yet.
Isn't one of you from the band cut copy? Bennett right? Yeah I played bass for Cut Copy on the first record, then left to pursue my PhD. We still hang though.
Have you ever seen the video made by penguinz0 of him playing QWOP? No, link?
Here. Oh wait, Cr1tikal is now called Penguinz0? Yeah I did see that - in fact that was the video that got picked up by RWJ and which catapulted QWOP to internet fame.
Any plans to flesh out the 2 hidden games? They're a lot of fun and it'd be nice to have them be pausable and have a few more options and such. I think part of the reason they're hidden is I wanted to sneak something SUPER minimal onto a major console. You can't generally play things like that on an xbox or playstation because you're forced to put extra shit into the games by the rules and regulations. Pausable sounds nice though.
Bennett, you've talked before on the joint subject of addiction & video games - even talking about making a not-fun video game with the explicit goal of getting people addicted. I did have a plan for a game like that, but then someone else made it. I can't remember what it was called right now, though!!
Any further thoughts on the subject, particularly in light of Flappy Bird? I don't feel like Flappy Bird is 'too' addictive, although it's certainly addictive. It's got the shortest reward loop of just about any game I can think of.
Sportsfriends is fackin awesome but why can't i enable teams for JS Joust with the dualshocks? I'm broke so i can't really stock up on move controllers atm. The only way you can tell who's on what team is to look at the color of their controller. Otherwise you'd just have to remember! In the end it becomes a bit of a nightmare unless there's a light on the controller.
I heard of there were some other games that were going to be a part of Sportsfriends at some point, can you guys say which? There are a couple of secret games that are in there. We wanted to include JW Nijman's TENNNES but he wasn't up for it - instead he let us give the original version to our backers as a reward.
Do you consider yourself artists as game designers? Aspiring game dev here, big fan of B.U.T.T.O.N. , just knew about Dark Room Sex, I think it is genious, great job I consider myself an artist, absolutely. It's a goofy, silly kind of artistic medium, but it's still an artistic medium.
Foddy, I love your games to pieces and always get excited when another comes out. You seem to put out new games at a decent rate. Do you think this will stay the same in the future or do you think you will work on more complex/ambitious titles? I would be happy either way! I think I'll be oscillating between the two extremes. I want to make some small stuff this summer.
Mister Foddy, did your game-related papers ever get published? No, I presented them a bunch of times though. I do have one coming out in a forthcoming book.
Hi and thanks again for doing this! I am an amateur video game reviewer over at a local radio station, and I am wondering what the best way to approach a game developer for a copy of their game to review? Twitter works, or direct email! Depends on the developer.
How do you like Happy Wheels? I'm a big fan of Tim's games. Happy Wheels is excellent.
What's the weirdest merchandising idea you've considered? The whole project is a weird merchandising idea!
Was QWOP intentionally just horrendous to control as a practical joke to gamers, or was it supposed to be a challenge thing? Yes.
Just want to say fuck you for the endless amount of frustration that was caused by QWOP. But you're cool people so, hugs. Ah, the good ol' 1-2 fuck-you-hugs combo. A classic.
Mount Your Friends is fun. There's a secret QWOP character in Mount Your Friends!
PS4 and PC right now IIRC. don't forget the ouya. We would like to do a microconsole release if possible! We need to make enough money to pay a programmer first, though.
I know right. Here's a Sportsfriends code for use on the PS4! Find the missing letter.
4845-?AN3-BA54.
Life Tips. Go! Use two pans if you're cooking corn tortillas. Seal one side in a nonstick pan on low, then flip into a hot cast-iron thing and they'll puff up. - take the internet super-seriously. It's the future. - Naruto is the best TV show.
Shameless /Naruto plug. We'd love to have you! I'm kind of afraid of spoilers. I haven't read the manga.
Never play co-op Spelunky with Bennett Foddy. This is what it's like to play Spelunky with Doug
I don't have a question. Thanks so much! It was the first iOS game I wrote, and also the first ever thing I wrote in any type of C. There are so few good cricket games though, I had to try my hand.
Little Master Cricket was the first iOS game I bought (after playing the flash version to death), and probably the purchase I've gotten the greatest return on. I'm not any good at the damn thing, I just love it. Btw: I've never told anyone this before, but in Little Master Cricket canon the bowler is always Shane Warne.
Thank you so much for the endless fun playing Get On Top. That was a fun game to play during boring lessons. There might be a secret version of it built into Sportsfriends!
You guys are awesome. Love QWOP. You actually are the source of my unintentionally highly upvoted comment which came as a surprise to me because I never cared about upvotes before...and now I'm hooked... on dem upvotes. Upvotes for all!
Last updated: 2014-05-20 14:04 UTC
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2014.03.18 19:16 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: Strongest Man in the World? I am Hafþór Júlíus "Thor" Björnsson of Iceland, Ask Me Anything.

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-03-18
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
How many keyboards have you accidentally destroyed since starting this AmA? Even though I am super-strong; women have never complained of me not being able to handle them "softly" ;)
What is your daily diet and how many calories/protein/fat/carbs is it? Also what does a weight lifting routine for a Strongman look like? What types of cardio do you do? I consume around 10.000 calories pr. day. It varies a lot, though, depending on whether I am working as an actor or to compete in the Worlds Strongest man or the likes.
Sorry for the barrage, I'm just very interested in how strongmen eat/train. You dudes are awesome! Cardio = Sex and from moving HEAVY weights at the gym.
Looking forward to seeing you on Game of Thrones. Pretty important season for you to join the show so I guess that must be exciting. It is a great show and a great season!
Girls ask me to pick them up all of the time and I have to admit sometimes it's hard to put them down again ;) Is that how you met your current girlfriend? I am single...
But can you lift Mjölnir? Link to www.facebook.com
What are you afraid of? To be completely honest I sometimes am afraid of being injured, so I take good care of my body so as not to get hurt, when I am competing I have specially made knee and elbow "sleeves" to protect me from injury by keeping my body warm and giving support... But getting support form my fans has also helped a lot!!
If you had to run a mile, how fast could you run it? I am no Usain Bolt but I'm pretty damn fast, have you ever tried pulling one of those monster trucks or airplanes?!?
Why is Iceland green & Greenland is Ice? It has to do with the settlers, what time of year they came and where, after all it is they who named them. Right now Iceland is white :)
What type of music do you enjoy listening to while working out? I listen to "metal" most of the time whilst training.
Besides The Mountain, who is your favorite Game of Thrones character, or actor, or both? Link to www.facebook.com
Do you have a custom made toilet? Yes, out of gold... Enforced by Titanium!
That is a joke, I don't :)
Hvernig náðiru hlutverki í Game of Thrones? Var þetta bara svona, "hæ þú ert stór og sterkur, perfect!" How did you get a role in Game of Thrones? They (HBO) contacted me and called me in for an audition; during the audition I lifted the guy up (well he asked me to) and they were really impressedj. They said they were also impressed by the way I move because I am very quick and powerful (especially considering my height and muscle mass) - like you will see in season 4 ;)
Did anything ever materialize in 2013 when Jim Irsay, owner of the Indianapolis Colts, suggested that they may sign you to play in the NFL? I had to choose between being a strong man competitor as well as an actor - and the NFL. Right now my head and my goal is becoming the Worlds Strongest Man!
Being 6ft 11 myself where do you get your clothes from? Some of them I order online, also buy clothes in the US plus having suits etc. tailor made.
Would you ever considering going into some martial arts/boxing/etc like Mariusz Pudzianowski did towards the end of his career? What do you think of that as a direction strongmen find themselves moving in? We have Gunnar Nelsson, he is one of the best MMA fighters in the world pound for pound as it is, I'll leave that up to him for now. I think it differs between individuals as it is I enjoy wathcing MMA.
How did you get into Strongman training? Did you start off with powerlifting or anything else first or just straight into Strongman? I played basketball and got injured, during the rehab I got more and more interested in strength training. To begin with I did powerlifting along with competing in strongman but then I switched all together into competing as a strong man.
Would you do a fitness AMA over at /fitness? Lots of people would love to ask you about what you do to stay in that shape! Contact my agent: [email protected].
Hey Hafþór! I notice that you have a sixpack most of the time. How do you manage to stay both really strong for competing, and very lean for movies or TV like Game of Thrones? PS Gangi þér vel á mótinu :) It all depends on how I train but I try to stay in all around good shape year round and so far it has worked out quite nicely...
What's your best sex advice? Just be yourself and treat the lady!
Do you ever take glute shot selfies? I hear that's a thing. I have never heard of guys doing it but have "heard" of girls doing it.
What is your favorite thing to eat when training? I have been using a formula I made myself for the last year or so, it's fucking AWESOME! It will be available to buy soon :)
My friend Nat is a big fan of yours, and wants to know what the hardest individual strongman event/task is that you've ever been faced with? Also kudos for the Game of Thrones role, I hope your character doesn't meet an unpleasant end! Pulling trucks/airplanes can be hell! But still it's one of my best events. Thanks, stay tuned for season 4 - and give my best to Nat...
"Uh Thor, do you have any zombie brothers you plan on fighting?" Edit: Damn I was just making a nerdy inside joke about ASOIAF but Zon 261 actually is a film about zombies LOL. I am killing quite a few of them in Zone 261, a film I am in to be premiered next Fall where I play Big John a member of the Viking Squad.
Do you have a role model or a mentor? Stefán Sölvi Pétursson has been an excellent training partner and I have learned from him and naturally it is not bad being able to ask a guy who became The Worlds Strongest man four times, Magnús Ver Magnússon for advice. My father has supported me more than anyone else in my life...
How do people normally respond to your size? They are shocked but it depends - others seem to be pleasantly surprised. But everyone has been positive so far :)
Who is your all-time favourite strong-man? Jón Páll Sigmarsson and Bill Kazmaier.
Last Superbowl, you said that you were interested in showing up for a football practice with the only current Icelandic football team. When are you going to show up and try it out? Right now as you probably know I am competing a lot, plus travelling takes a lot of my time, so I don't have all that much time but hopefully there will be "quieter" times so I might be able to pop in and try it out.
Do you find that people try to overcompensate somehow for their relative weakness compared to you when you talk or interact with them? Do people assume you aren't intelligent because you are strong? What other passions do you have other than weight training? Most people are really nice when I talk to them. When I am not traveling and competing I spend most of the time with my daughter and the people I care about. I also really enjoy eating good food.
Whats it like being able to lift anything... It's fucking GREAT!
I had gym class with you in high school! Seems like you've had gym class everyday ever since. Good job man! As most people can imagine getting strong enough to compete in the Worlds Strongest Man and to be able to pull off being The Mountain in GoT takes a LOT of gym-time and non stop hard work almost 24/7...
Hrikalegur! Takk - þú líka!
Will you marry me, for two reasons: a) so you can lift me (i'm not actually that heavy and i'm sure the novelty would wear off fairly quick, buuut) b) so i can immigrate to iceland. Are you a woman?
Holy shit, we've finally found someone who could actually take on a horse-sized duck. THAT would be a barbeque of a lifetime - want to join?
Last updated: 2014-03-22 12:20 UTC
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2014.03.04 19:50 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: Hi, I’m Malin Akerman! I play Kate on Trophy Wife on ABC; AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-03-04
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Hi Malin! You moved from Sweden at the age of 2. How Swedish do you actually consider yourself? When I'm in Sweden, I feel Canadian. When I'm in Canada, I feel Swedish.
Were you familiar with Watchmen before you got the part in the movie? If so, how do you think the film's portrayal of your character matched Silk Spectre II from the book? I was not familiar with it…but I think Zack did a great job in bringing her to life. Silk Spectre was quite one dimensional in the novel and Zack gave her a bit more depth.
Malin, have you ever turned down a role that you later regretted? If so, what was the role? Yes. Not that I was offered this role, but had the chance to read The Hangover and decided to pass on the opportunity to go in for an audition. I preferred the male roles in the movie…something like Bridesmaids would have been awesome.
If you had to say who your favorite person you'd ever met was, would it be Natalie Morales? and if so, what are your favorite things about her? It would be Natalie Morales! because she aint afraid to let that armpit hair grow long and wild. I love a brave woman!
Hey Malin!! What is your most hilarious story from harold and kumar? Did you eat any white castle on the set? I had to lick Freakshow's (Chris Meloni) boils on our first day of shooting. Good way to ease into a role ;) and we shot in Canada, where they don't have white castle! Can you believe it?!
Hi Malin, thanks for doing this AMA. I'm a big fan of Children's Hospital and like to think that the reason it's so great is that the actors themselves are responsible for the personality and development of their characters. Is this true for you and the other actors? If so, do you keep a clown bitch in your day to day life? Hell yeah I do…I've got my blow up clown bitch in my closet! I take him out from day to day just to slap him around a little…or I just call Rob Corrdry. On another note, yeah, we have a lot of liberty and collaboration when it comse to creating our characters…although the writers get most of the credit for writing the most amazing scripts.
What are your other talents besides acting? Something goofy? I can Travolitfy names better than Travolta himself!
While filming Wanderlust, during the scenes where Paul Rudd is awkwardly stammering out his "sexy" talk, were you getting a stronger urge to laugh or to slap him? I was getting the urge to make out with him!! It was waaay sexy! Doesn't awkward stammering turn you on?!
HI, Malin! One thing I truly love about Trophy Wife is that it's primarily female driven and unfortunately that's such a rarity in sitcoms-- or television itself, these days. It's wonderful to see strong female characters who aren't perceived as bitches or sex objects. How would you describe your fellow female co-stars? And with a second season, what scenarios would you like to see the show take on? Yeah, Cate Blanchett said it well in her acceptance speech, so I am so happy to be on a show with such powerful actresses. Marcia Gay Harden is an Oscar winning force to be reckoned with and surprisingly funny! Michaela Watkins is what I like to refer to as comedy gold! I would love to take Trophy Wife on the road for some family vacation episodes...
What is your favorite food? Nutella!! Personally, I think it should be it's own food group.
Malin, what does Ben Stiller smell like? A mix of Pine Cones and new car smell…that's if he hasn't had any mexican food.
Hi Malin! Loved you in Entourage. How was it working with the cast, and how beautiful is Emmanuelle Chriqui in real life? Emmanuelle Chriqui is not human she is so beautiful!! On the inside and out! and I got to kiss her!!! Yes!!
Hi Malin, thanks for doing this AMA! Now for my really really important question :-P. If you could have any animal (including mythological animals etc) as a pet what would it be? A kitten sized Falcor…if you don't know who Falcor is then you haven't lived! Watch Neverending Story.
Hey Malin! I'm a big fan of Bradley Whitford. Is he as funny away from the camera as he is on screen? I'm officially Bradley's biggest fan after working with him. He is the biggest ham! So friggin funny. The best part is that when he is interviewed so many people mistakenly call him Bradley Cooper and he never corrects them…he just rolls with it.
What is on your playlist currently? Led Zeppelin, Arctic Monkeys, Pharrell, Broken Bells, Johnny Cash.
My wife and I are a big fan of yours, and the show Trophy Wife. Can you tell us a little about how the show came together and how you got involved? When I first saw the title of the show I said "Hell no! I do NOT want to play a vapid Trophy Wife", but after reading the script I realized that it was a tongue and cheek title and I absolutely loved it. From then on it was all about finding the right cast…and I feel like we hit a home run with our hilarious actors!
Malin! I was just browsing reddit and stumbled across this! Who's your favorite stand-in on the TW?? Is it perhaps the smallest one with the largest beer appetite? ;) also as a more legitimate question: what's a storyline you want to see for season 2? Miss you! xx, H. Well of course my favorite is anyone with the largest beer appetite! Miss you too little mamma. Storyline for season 2… the Harrison family gets an appetite for travel and travels to the most exotic places in the world… you like?!
Hi Malin, What is your worst impulse buy? A leather leopard print bean bag.
Hey Malin, what's the worst nickname you've had? Mullet. Someone actually thought that was my name…and I let them run with it.
Boy Meets World, The Wonder Years, and Saved by the Bell are all starting reboots, you're offered the roles of Topanga, Winnie Cooper and Kelly Kapowski; which role do you take? I haven't seen Boy meets world (don't judge) so I would have to go with Kelly Kapowski…just seemed like she had a lot more fun.
Hey Malin! One of my favorite movies of yours is Happythankyoumoreplease. How did you get involved with that film and what was it like diving into the physical insecurities of the character? So happy you enjoyed the movie! It was one of my personal favorites. I was totally game about diving into a character who was exploring the difficulties of being a bald woman in a society that puts so much emphasis on looks. It was a beautiful and challenging experience.
What can you say about Half the Sky and Nicholas Kristof? It's an amazing movement with wonderful leaders at it's helm…such as Nick Kristof. I love that he is all bout empowering women and ending the horrific truth that is sex slavery and oppression.
I really enjoyed your part in Rock of Ages as Constance. I thought you were a perfect choice for her. What was it like working with Tom Cruise? Thanks. It was friggin amazing working with TC. I mean, he was Maverick from Top Gun and I got to stick my tongue in his ear!!!
Hey Malin, which way(s) would you say you are like or unlike your character on Trophy Wife? Curious to hear how you are pulling in your personal style (or not) into the character. You are hilarious on the show, btw. Thanks. I certainly do pull in a bit of my personal style…I mean, a former bartender, with a lust for life and a crazy best friend. Check. And I have certainly found myself in awkward situations where I felt completely inadequate just being there, which always makes for good comedic moments.
Best concert experience? Have you ever been starstruck meeting anyone? Coachella!! SO many great bands! Was star struck meeting Robin Williams and Dave Grohl.
Is Albert Tsai as adorable off set as he is on camera? Yes! and he can also tell you what stocks to invest in…he is one smart 9 year old! Next season the show is gonna be called "Trophy Wife's kid"
Great to see you on Conan! But really, tunnbrödsrulle without räksallad? Blasphemy! Link to i.imgur.com. I know! But we don't have those delicious little shrimp here in the US so it just wouldn't be the same...
Hello Malin! What is something most people do not know about you? I love popping blackheads! Should've been an esthetician...
Is there a song or band that you really like but are a bit ashamed of it ? Miley Cyrus- wrecking ball.
You've lived in Toronto -- what do you think of the whole Rob Ford debacle? I think he seems perfectly sane and equipped to handle leadership… ;) He's outta his mind is what I think!!!
Are you involved heavily in any non profit organizations or charities? I am very much involved in an amazing organization called Opportunity International as well as working closely with EMA. My best gal pal and I are also in the middle of teaching an 8 week leadership program in Juvenile hall to incarcerated youth in hopes of giving them some tools to help them turn their lives around when they get out.
What location was your most favorite that you visited while filming? I would think it would have been Bora Bora.. that place looked gorgeous in "Couples Retreat". P.s. My dad says "Hi". He loves you. You said it! It was friggin paradise! Hi dad ;)
Can you play any instruments? Used to play the flute...
Hi Malin. One time I was walking from the ABC building past the Disney lot to my bus stop near the hospital. A car rushed past me and somebody hollered something like "Scream if you love Trophy Wife!" and I just froze and didn't know what to say. I was caught off guard and just want to apologize for being awkward. Was that you, and, did I ruin your video? Sorry 'bout it. It wasn't me…but would you scream next time?
Hej Malin! Egentligen inget att fråga, vill bara se så att din svenska fortfarande sitter som den ska! Lycka till med allt :) Så klart att det gör ;) Tack tack.
Heartbreak Kid style Fuck/Marry/Kill. Choices are Ben Stiller, Jerry Stiller and Danny McBride. GO! Fuck-Jerry Stiller Marry-Danny McBride Kill-Ben Stiller cause he left me on our HONEYMOON!!
Please tell us something crazy about working with Nicolas Cage! He is the King of New Orleans and took me to his favorite bar there called The Dungeon!! Nothing but metal music and goth creatures. It was amazing. Link to 2.media.todaysbigthing.cvcdn.com
Hi Malin! No question really.. just hi. Well Hellooo!
Last updated: 2014-03-08 18:36 UTC
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The 6 Differences Between Dating Hispanic Girls VS White ... How to Undo Her Bra with One Hand - YouTube Eating at a Hooters for Women in Japan  Slutever Shorties EXPLORING THE THICCNESS~! [Extracurricular Activities ... To Trust an Incubus Demo  Yaoi Bara BL 18+ 😈 - YouTube My Ex-Girlfriends Revenge..!  A ORIGINAL GACHA LIFE MINI ... Black Women Discuss Interracial Dating  Black Women OWN ... College Ka Online Pyaar  1 Million Creation - YouTube My Magical Demon Lover Demo  Yaoi BL Game 😈 - YouTube S3X IN THE CAR! - Dating Simulator with Girlfriend - YouTube

Amorous

  1. The 6 Differences Between Dating Hispanic Girls VS White ...
  2. How to Undo Her Bra with One Hand - YouTube
  3. Eating at a Hooters for Women in Japan Slutever Shorties
  4. EXPLORING THE THICCNESS~! [Extracurricular Activities ...
  5. To Trust an Incubus Demo Yaoi Bara BL 18+ 😈 - YouTube
  6. My Ex-Girlfriends Revenge..! A ORIGINAL GACHA LIFE MINI ...
  7. Black Women Discuss Interracial Dating Black Women OWN ...
  8. College Ka Online Pyaar 1 Million Creation - YouTube
  9. My Magical Demon Lover Demo Yaoi BL Game 😈 - YouTube
  10. S3X IN THE CAR! - Dating Simulator with Girlfriend - YouTube

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