OkCovid-19 (dating during a pandemic)
2011.06.03 16:43 marc52055 OkCovid-19 (dating during a pandemic)
We are not affiliated, associated, authorized, endorsed by, or in any way officially connected with eharmony, or any of its subsidiaries or its affiliates. The official eharmony website can be found at http://www.eharmony.com
2008.01.25 07:35 funny
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2014.11.04 00:18 Dating Over 30: Because dating is hard, no matter how old you are.
Dating Over Thirty is a sub for discussion and advice on dating and relationships for people over the age of 30. **This is not a place to post personals or "looking for" or hookups.**
2020.10.24 17:05 IAMALoverOrAFighter In order to unsubscribe from eHarmony, I need to write them a letter?
2020.10.24 16:52 IAMALoverOrAFighter In order to unsubscribe from eHarmony, I need to write a letter?
2020.10.24 06:47 theduchess_of_wyn Ghosting Hurts
Honestly this is mostly a rant. I need to vent because I don’t want to be judged by my friends for this so here goes. I met this guy on eharmony a little over a month ago. I live in FL and he lives in VA. We’ve hit it off in conversation and talked endlessly almost everyday, FaceTimed and everything, at the beginning of October we discussed me visiting because it’s really a two hour flight. Me loving to travel and taking up any excuse to leave FL for a bit I agreed. I bought a non refundable ticket for Nov 5 to the 8 and booked a hotel with cancellation option up until Nov 4. This guy is supposedly legally separated and his wife was still living in the house but was due to move this week I had some reservations but didn’t think much of it because apparently the wife had cheated with his coworker type of thing and it was traumatic for him. I am NO STRANGER to getting ghosted and I am almost desensitized by it after going on a date or 2 and people disappearing. So everything was going well and then Sunday I don’t hear from him. I messaged him and he mentions he was helping his exwife separate her belongings from his because she was moving this Wednesday and he even had to take that day off to direct the movers etc etc and he was kinda moody. Monday I text him and he tells me he got into a big blow up with her and was feeling shitty I offered support and he said thank you, this is something I have to see through for myself (whatever that meant) I didn’t text him for two days to give him space. Didn’t hear from him. Texted him Good morning! How are you feeling yesterday. Nothing. Meanwhile I see him post stories on Snapchat. He shared his activity with me on Apple watch so i see him working out. 0 response. At night I said: Hey Idk what’s going on with you, i wish you would communicate but at this point you have kinda ghosted. No response again. I text him again today that I will be canceling the trip reservations. No reply. So i just deleted him off all my platforms, snap, IG, watch, unmatched him from eharmony. Then I sent him a nasty message telling him he was an asshole, that it literally takes less than a minute to craft a reply and that’s not cool when someone has a plan to go visit you. He blocked me after that. The flight was only $109 thank god and I might be able to change it to somewhere else and the hotel thank god I canceled without any charges or penalties. What pisses me off is the lack of courage and honesty. Many times I mentioned in our conversations that getting ghosted was just so immature. I’m really mad at myself for being stupid. Like this is a whole other level of ghosting I had never experienced it’s so evil. I was angry so I sent him a scorned email asking for an explanation and that if it was that he got back with the ex he could’ve said it instead of ghosting me, I threatened to still use the flight to go see him (dumbass gave me his address) and get an explanation in person (I wouldn’t actually do it although I don’t lack the desire and spitefulness to do so) I know that it was crazy to say that but I wanted to illicit a reply and at this point what he thinks of me doesn’t matter. I guess as I write this I realize that him being recently separated in July and his wife still living there was a huge red flag I chose to ignore. But even that I asked several questions about and the explanations were reasonable. In any case I feel super stupid and super played and I needed to vent sans judgment. But feel free to let me have it because Im dumb.
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2020.10.24 03:22 adigi9 Eharmony dating advice - Stop Comparing!!!!
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2020.10.22 22:55 tomatonotpotato What is this? Eharmony?
2020.10.21 15:24 wildwarp14 Online dating kicking my butt
I've been online dating since march on eharmony, and I was completely new to it before that. I haven't had much success with it, I've probably talked to 20 different men since then though I've reached out to more, and I've met with two, neither of which was a good fit.
Most of the men I've been talking to I've found really frustrating. A lot of them seem very insecure or very desperate and I wind up playing older sister through our messages until I can let them down kindly as possible. I recently had a guy that I thought was spectacular take a hard left in the span of about two emails into major crazytown.
I'm really frustrated with all of it and was thinking about taking a break, turning my profile off and giving it a month because it's become really irritating and miserable. I guess I'd really just like to know if that's a normal thing, and if I'm alone or not in this experiance. Has anyone else taken a break like that? Did it help? Most of my friends are married or taken so it's hard to explain this to them. Thanks for any responses.
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2020.10.21 14:52 JaneIsaPain Lets talk about: male catfishes.
Case example: talking to a dude on eharmony.
Linkedin profile - receding, huge pimple on forehead and just...very different to his eharmony profile pic with full hair.
I don't understand why women get primarily criticised for being catfishes, when most men I have seen online versus IRL, grossly overrepresent themselves.
I mean, maybe his eharmony pics are the recent him and the receding one is an older pic. Sure. We will go with that.
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2020.10.21 12:44 shivvykumar 22M bored at work as a developer, let's have a chat [chat]
Can somebody help me improve my chances on eHarmony please 🤣😭
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2020.10.21 02:21 MrUnknown1996 Eharmony or Match.com?
I’m thinking about giving secular sites a second chance, since I haven’t had much luck on Catholic sites. I’m seriously considering using eharmony or match.com. Have any of you had luck in those sites?
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2020.10.20 02:55 RobinsNest4 Y'all ever feel betrayed by dating apps?
Like, I'll download an app that I've heard good things about, go through the steps of signing up, only to find I am limited to only boys OR girls. Let me be bi, Eharmony! It's 2020!
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2020.10.20 00:15 Legend12332 My experience so far on online dating
I used every dating app you can think of and my experience on some of them was good and some of them were bad like Okcupid which is the best dating app I used and where I saw the most success on there than any other dating app and it seems to be a app full of people who are actually looking for a relationship. I matched with and talked to a lot of women on there and I still continue to use the app but sadly not seeing much success on it as much as I use to before covid 19 hit.
Tinder was just a waste time for me because all I got was just blurry matches I rarely ever matched with but when I did they never reply when I try to get the conversation going so I think Tinder is just a app for people loooking to hookup or people looking to waste their time on, maybe if I changed my location on there that I might get more matches on Tinder since I live in a low populated area.
Plenty of Fish was a okay experience, got a few compliments on my photos, talked to a few women where the conversation led nowhere and ran into a lot of scammers and catfishers looking to steal your money because their too lazy to get off their ass to get a job.
Bumble was a terrible experience, only matched with a few people and only got to talk to one women who was a die hard liberal who hated Trumps guts which led to her insulting me because of my political beliefs so I deleted Bumble and my account.
Hinge, i'm not sure if the likes stop refreshing until you have to start paying because that was my experience on there so I deleted that app.
CDFF was a pleasant experience, met a a lot of genuine women who are looking for a relationship. Even been in a few relationships on it as well but we all sadly had to break up because I cant do long distance. I honestly might go back to the app since I had such a pleasant experience on it.
Thats my experience on the basic dating apps of today, i'm also not including the other dating apps like match, eharmony, badoo, zoosk because they are basically apps you have to pay to be able to use.
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2020.10.19 09:00 BunnleBunnedBeast EHarmony a waste of time?
Hey so dating related discussion or just statement. I thought that the go to site for dating and finding like minded individuals you might match with was E harmony. I make a profile which takes a while because it collects a lot of information from you. I get to looking through all my compatible matches and find this girl with a bio i adore and we starting sending each other a bunch of likes and so it seems things are going great and so since we are both liking each other i go to send a message and im hit with a 100 dollar pay wall just to send a message to a girl with no way around it.
Either im missing something here or Eharmony is the biggest piece of crap dating site ever. Two people find each other on the site and yet we cant communicate unless one of us pays 107 dollars. That's 107 dollars to use on a date. Like am i wrong for being reluctant to pay and frustrated?
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2020.10.18 21:32 kmmreddit Them?
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2020.10.18 19:42 AnotherInsecureGuy I just want some mutual attraction!
Any questions, you may refer to my username.
I just turned 30 over the summer and had a mutual break up at the beginning of it. I tried to remain friends with her, because I really liked her but in the end I think it was just too painful for me. We ended the relationship because we wanted different things for our future (I wanted children and she said she would never have them). I tend to try to stay very busy but with Covid and everything, I’ve found a lot more free time on my hands and I’m ready to start dating again.
Im living at home, although it’s more reversed now, I have a disabled, elderly parent to take care of and I get all the fun responsibilities that go with it. And after I lost my dad a few years ago to cancer (obligatory fuck cancer), it’s really up to me to take care of her.
I was pre-engaged in high school and lost my high school sweetheart in a car accident, which used to be a huge issue when dating but now that I’m older it hasn’t caused that much drama. I still think about her.
I didn’t have a very good father growing up, but not abusive, just absent. Disappear, leave me with my grandparents, etc... When I was growing up, I always remember being asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher etc... but I basically just wanted to be a good father that’s there for his children.
I’ve always had this obsession with relationships since the first one passed. When I’m single I’m miserable, the longer I go without a date, the more unhappy I become and the less like myself I feel like. It just becomes this gnawing unbearable feeling that eats away at my self esteem and makes all my accomplishments seem pointless.
It’s hard to hear and I hear it over and over that I need to be happy with myself and love myself and then love will just find a way. Well, I tried that for four years, I didn’t go out of my way, just worked on myself and I’m the end I just became suicidal, i won’t put myself through that again.
It’s hard when the only thing you want in life is dependent on finding a suitable partner.
At this point I’ve completely forgotten the point of this post.
I’ve had terrible luck at the dating apps okcupid, Tinder, hinge and bumble (and eharmony but I now have uninstalled that one).
Not sure if it’s because I’m unattractively short (5’4) and I just get filtered out. Or if I’m just not worth their time. But either way, there has to be something that I’m doing wrong or something more that I can be doing.
Should I consider doing a matchmaking service?
I’ve heard of It’s Just Lunch, but it’s pricey at $3-4000 but I’m really considering it.
Does anyone have any recommendations?
If anyone has any other suggestions I’m open, a different sub Reddit. Thanks for listening to me ramble.
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2020.10.15 07:51 annalog96 How to OLD?
I know FDS is generally against OLD (and rightly so!) It is definitely better to meet someone in person who you know and trust, but why not use all the tools in your toolbox? Any business would use all available revenue streams/marketing - they'd just simply put varying amounts of time/money into each according to their ROI (return on investment). OLD should not replace
meeting guys in real life, but it can be useful if you keep it ticking along on the side.
Why use OLD as an 'additional revenue stream'?
- Circumstances - you might simply not meet many people in person if you have moved to a new city so have a limited social network, are shy, can't do hobbies (due to a pandemic!!) and everyone at work is old etc.
- Abundance mindset (avoid 'oneitis') - many people criticise OLD for creating the 'grass is greener' syndrome but I think it is one of its advantages. It's so much easier to leave the abusive guy when a non-abusive guy could be just a swipe away!!
- Hook up culture - this also sounds like a funny 'advantage' but I think one benefit of 'hook up culture' is that it better weeds out those who aren't genuine. Rather than situationships, I think in the past, guys would more often fake whole relationships 'just to get sex' and then make up some reason to break up later on. Now, there is no real need to do that as guys can actually get (or think they can get) casual sex at a swipe.
- No 'meet cute' mindset - so many people tell (read: shame) you if you actually try and actively date as 'it's best to meet in person' and 'they come when you're not looking!' In my experience, this is a total sham. I meet and date guys in person all the time and see no different in the fuckery - I am just less ruthless with them because I am holding onto our Nicholas Sparks 'meet cute' BUT WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TELL THE GRANDKIDS?? If I am chatting/dating a few guys at the same time, I don't attach to the 'in person' guy and hold him to the same standards.
- Experience - you have more options to learn what you like and don't like and about how to date in general. You're never going to get it right first time.
- Google - the good thing about the internet is that you can find quite a bit of information out about someone before even meeting them. You can find their job history on LinkedIn, interests from Instagram and even their relationship history from Facebook!
- Women are the queens - men are much more desperate on OLD so you have the bargaining power. There are far more men than women on OLD and the 'casual sex' women can also just go for the most attractive guys. You just have to see how desperately guys swipe and message everyone (as my guy friends have shown me) with very few matches. Compare this to dating in church, where there are way more women so men can be more passive/choosy/entitled/harem-y.
- Effort from men - as above, due to how OLD is more difficult for guys, they have to be quite invested in dating (or sex) to actually use it.
- Confidence - OLD can be terrible for self esteem (especially if used badly) but it can also prove to you just how many men are interested in you too, which can be good for confidence.
- Pandemic - I think this might be the best time for finding relationships on OLD. Guys can't go to nightclubs and with a possible second lockdown looming, are keen to 'lock down' a girl before another year of celibacy strikes!
How to OLD Disclaimer: these are from my own experiences so may be age/culture specific. So for reference, I am a 23-year-old in a fairly large British city. Keep expectations low
Know that 90% (at a push!) of guys on OLD are LVM. Just keep this in mind to avoid feeling hopeless about not being able to find any HVM or anyone wanting a relationship. It's not you, it's OLD. It's like job hunting - all a number's game. You're casting your net in a sea of trash so don't expect much more! Show your standards through your profile
I have always been surprised at all the comments on the internet about being sent dick pics. I have never received one and 99% of the messages I receive are respectful. From what guys have said to me, this is because I look kind and approachable in my pics (smiling and happy) and I look 'multi-faceted' and 'gf material' (so I talk about my interests but also show this through a range of pictures with friends/family/sport/travelling). While one or two show my figure (as I think hiding it makes people suspect you're fat), NONE of my pictures are sexual at all. This is key really as I have seen girls' profiles and they are mostly pouting, in a bikini, posing etc. which sends the wrong message. Vet profiles *before* swiping
Don't do the male 'swipe on everyone trying to get a match'. As guys are doing that, you can rest assured that almost every guy you *do* swipe on *will* match with you. So to know what you're looking for, good quality profiles = university, hobbies, range of interesting pictures, good job. LVM profiles = 'ab pics', drugs, partying, nihilism, little/no bio, 'looking to have fun', excessive jokes, memes. From above, only swiping on good quality guys could also be why I have managed to avoid the guys who send gross messages. Use Hinge (or Bumble)
Tinder is fairly obviously a hook up app so the wrong context is set from the start. I have just started using Hinge and have noticed a big difference in quality, where guys actually write a lot about themselves, have much more interesting conversations and actually have educations and jobs (!!). It is also known as a 'relationship app' (where you can actually report guys who aren't looking for a relationship!) and seems to be getting enough traction to be a 'popular app' now. Paid online sites like eHarmony and Match could be good but I feel it could be too pressured/contrived and have more desperate weirdos who can't use other means so resort to paying. Age range
I have found a big difference between dating guys 25-29 compared to my age (22-24). It very much seems like guys go through stages and that their brain really does take until about 25 to fully develop. Avoid guys who are too old (and predatory) though! Take breaks
You have to be high in confidence/esteem/enthusiasm for OLD as it can be tiring (and demoralising). If you start feeling bored and negative about it, just take a break from it as you won't be in a good mindset to date anyway. There will always be those mile long match queues for when you return x Only respond to thoughtful messages
Ignore 'how r u' or 'ur pretty' single liners. That's far too little effort. Only respond to guys who have thoughtfully discussed something in your profile as it shows some thought and interest in you. (You could message first if a profile particularly sparks your interest as this will make you stand out a lot considering how guys NEVER get a message first. But still don't ask him out.) Make sure a guy asks you out within the week
Fade away from those pen pal conversations as these guys either just want the validation or are already in relationships. Also avoid guys who ask you out straight away as they are trying to bypass communication/effort/trust. Keep talking to/dating guys
I would say try 2 dates per week and keep messaging guys until you get into a relationship. The benefit of OLD is there are always more options! Coffee/drink first date
Again, FDS rules are against this but I think dinner dates are appropriate if the guy already knows you, but not on OLD where you don’t know each other. It's just a casual meet (although a guy should still pay) to see if there is any connection/chemistry. I also can't be bothered with too much time/effort for someone I don't know, so I prefer this and also dress accordingly (nice shirt but just jeans, trainers, little make up). After he knows you, you can see if he steps it up. Not asking for too much before a first date also means you blend in and stay on the DL, as you shouldn't show him your standards too early, as below: Mystery
Now I have said to show that you are a 'girlfriend type' in your profile but do not TELL them this. OLD is anonymous so if you tell guys too much about what you want, they can easily mould themselves into that to get in your pants. Keep your cards close to your chest and let them reveal themselves (and their intentions) to you
over time. Have (sexual) boundaries
This is even more crucial on OLD and I think this one has been the saver for me. I've never had casual sex or jumped into bed straight away with anyone, but I never used to have set boundaries either which sometimes led to the dreaded 'situationship'. (Poor little me was confused why guys would be taking me on romantic dates and talking with me all the time but 'not want a relationship'? Go figure!)
I don't tell guys upfront what I'm looking for as I want to see how they treat me of their own accord. It better shows me their character and intentions. You don't have to waste too much time with this though as guys will try and get sexual by the third date and when they get pushy you can tell them 'your rule' then. By this point, they will have likely built up a reasonable about of emotional connection and investment in you (as guys rarely rarely ever get a first date, especially not a third!) so maybe see you as an actual human and will often carry on (sunk cost fallacy) according to your wishes, or leave - win/win! (3+ dates is not too much time/investment that they feel it is worth faking a relationship to get laid so will usually just leave if they had bad intentions.) Either way, having the 'no sex without exclusivity' boundary means I have found they always put me in the 'nice girl' (Madonna) category rather than the 'whore' category. This doesn't mean they always want a relationship with me (nor should they!) but it means they at least respect me. The scary word 'exclusivity' also makes them stop to actually think with their logical head (rather than the other head!)
I can't think of anything else for now, just good luck out there sisters! Remember this is just how to get decent options
, but the real vetting for whether or not he is HVM starts when you are dating IRL!
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2020.10.15 04:50 TCarp9411 Making beer
I moved to Cape Cod Massachusetts in early August this year during C-19. This year has been brutal for all of us, and traveling from Florida had its own bold checkpoints as well. For starters, my wife got rear ended as she drove her Jeep as she was following me, my dog died on the way up after visiting my in-laws, and I met my newly divorced Dad and seeing him lose close to 80lbs due to the stress and broken heart.
Yes, this was a very sad trip. Stressful to say the least.
I like to go fishing, I am diagnosed with depression and while I am sad, fishing helps me focus on the present and not the past. It helps a lot. I mainly like to shark fish and the thrill of landing a shark is very good for me.
However, Massachusetts is not sunny like Florida is. It gets brutally cold. I’m from the north east and I am not a fan of the cold but at least I know how to cope with it. My wife wanted to see snow, so we decided to move here this summer. We figured, “why not”. The only regret, is now I can’t fish for half the year. It gets too cold for my hands. I’ve always wanted a boat, but it’s expensive, but one day I’ll hopefully get one. So here we are, living on Cape Cod. We are a middle class, single car family. We sold my wife’s Jeep to her parents due to the payments. So now we drive my Jeep. It’s a wrangler and it’ll help get us around when it starts to snow and the ice forms.
A hobby we both enjoy doing is thrift shopping. One day I was at a garage sale and I was trying to buy a lawn mower. I bought a husqvarna for 100$ and it doesn’t even work. I also bought a 3$ beer kit. The brand is Mr. Beer and for 3$, ehh, what the heck. So I bought it. It’s an American light beer, I figured it won’t hurt to try. My life has been on the down hill anyway.
When we moved in, we met our neighbors the same night. Had dinner with them, it was awkward for me. I wasn’t ready for it at all. I love people, I’m a people person, but I like to settle in before meeting people. I like to drop my anchor before I explore the land is what I mean. So here we are, eating dinner, we had smoked pork. They’re both divorced and they found each other on eharmony. They share an autistic son. He’s 9. Great kid, we hang out often, because I know the struggle of kids and I like to be helpful to people. Sure I might get some benefit from it, but playing with a 9 year old teaches you a lot more about yourself than it does more than anything else in my opinion. I learned I have a lot of patience, and I’m still a kid at heart. He helps me smile when I’m having a rough day, and I help him listen to his parents when he gets in a transition. He’s a good kid. Good family.
I end up going to the garage sale about three weeks after we moved in. The Ma of the kid brews her own beer. So I bought my kit and then found out she brews later on. At my work, there is another guy that brews his own beer. I feel like I’m already starting to fit in. We all share our own beer. He’s coming over on Saturday night to carve pumpkins. Today, I finally made my first beer. I have to wait two weeks to bottle it, but it smelled good. I had to call my new friend because I had so many questions. I finally finished it and now I wait. I feel good. I’m reading more too. I just finished the band of brothers book and now I’m reading the count of monte cristo. It’s a great read. Keeps my mind in the present, or distracts it from the past.
If you have depression like me, don’t feel like you should isolate yourself. I have been letting it get the best of me for quite sometime. I take meds, I used to see a therapist, but it’ll only get you so far. Most of the treatment comes from within. Seeing the brighter sides of life. Sometimes, you’ve gotta make the beer.
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2020.10.14 06:20 foxcnnmsnbc Podcast: Asian Female Hitch interviewed on dating
Podcast with stand-up comedian Sierra Katow (Wong Fu, HBO), and dating coach Ruby Le from Good Gentleman, and formerly EHarmony. Ruby Le has a background in Therapy/Counseling, so interesting to see a dating coach with a formal psychology background.
Ruby, labeled the "Asian female Hitch" chats with Sierra about what it means to be a professional DATING COACH! Sierra asks her the hard questions - Can someone change their attraction preferences? Are racial preferences ok or just racist? Is there such a thing as the "Friend Zone?"
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2020.10.13 19:48 AmySharpton So eharmony just let us in on a little secret: A promo code for Prime Day
2020.10.13 02:58 yolandarainbow How or where do I find a boyfriend ? I’m a 23F and I’m looking for a relationship
I know I don’t need a boyfriend but I know im ready to date again. I’m on dating sites tinder, OkCupid , I’ve tried match but didn’t want to pay right away , and eharmony but didn’t want to pay for it because it seems expensive...
I don’t have friends like 2 but neither of them have single guy friends nor will they set me up with their boyfriends friends because they don’t think they are the best kind of people and I’m thankful they won’t ..
I just want someone I can experience life with love them care about them. I’m ready to actually start a life and commit to someone but I don’t even know where to start right now.... help me
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2020.10.11 20:40 ButtersCreamyGoo420 Please stop handing out your info.
Please stop giving out your social media names, snap or your phone numbers over chat. That is dangerous and not very smart. You don't know who is lurking in chat or who you're really talking to that you're making "friends" with. I saw one girl that said she was 12 (who I assume was a girl) give her number out to some random guy in chat because he said her color was cute! Really?! Now everyone in that chat has it, not just the one hitting on your game character. This is not eHarmony or even Tinder. Please be smart and safe.
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2020.10.11 19:29 justicesnacker Free eHarmony gift card
I have a gift card for a 1 month "VIP" membership to eHarmony (enhanced features like viewing profile pictures). It's a few years old so I can't guarantee it will work, but there isn't an expiration date on the back so you might as well try it.
I'll choose a person at random and mark when it's been taken. If interested, send me a PM of your best date experience. Good luck! May the odds be ever in your favor.
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2020.10.06 03:52 LoveCityStrong OLD - Is this the Norm?
50F, joined Match and eHarmony about 6 weeks ago. I am getting a lot of "likes." I was told a lot of men wait to see if a potential date "likes" them back before reaching out. Okay, makes sense, rejection hurts! But I've noticed that when I "like" a man back, 95% of the time, they do not do anything further, no message, no nothing. Is that the norm for OLD? What's the story there?
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