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The number one lesson I have learned as an Asian guy in regards to dating, location is arguably one of the most important things for us even if we are good on paper.
2017.04.15 18:16 hooktoetagem The number one lesson I have learned as an Asian guy in regards to dating, location is arguably one of the most important things for us even if we are good on paper.
I guess this is a story of not just dating but how I came to find that a lot of what you guys talk about on here can affect even the most "assimilated" Asian men that look good on paper, how I made the transition from an Asian uncle tom to being "woke". It is something I had to share with a lot of you on here because I think it can benefit a great deal of you.
If you're an Asian guy with aspirations of dating attractive women, of whatever race, then this thread will help you. If you are an Asian guy who is happy with plain and below average looking women, doesn't really value looks all that much, then I think you can do without this thread.
Maybe I am using the word "dating" loosely here as I also include hookups and one night stands in that category. A good bit of discussion is centered on how Asian men in the western world struggle with dating in general and if you go to the common sources of advice they will give you the same ol basic advice:
(1) Look good/lift
(2) Learn some "game"
(3) Be "alpha"
General vague advice and they also throw in "loose the accent", as if all Asian men are immigrants that sound a certain way. I took this advice and decided to go on the typical "self-improvement" journey for a couple of years and the results came. Growing up, I had the stereotypical Asian American upbringing that most of you are aware of (get good grades, get into good college, etc.).
I went to college in culturally backwards state but they said the college town itself was "liberal" so I thought why not, plus it was a full ride scholarship with out of pocket money. When I arrived in school I was all too unfamiliar with the concept of fraternities and so I didn't rush, that made me miss out on a good deal of the college experience, but moving forward.
After college, I took a job offer in a somewhat low cost of living area (Louisville) because I though as a guy making well above the average salary there alongside being in good shape (I lifted and built a nice body in college), I would be just fine.
So I spent the weekends at bars, clubs, and on online dating and started to see a weird trend. White guys who might not have been as good as their minority counterparts on paper were getting the hottest girls. I am not talking about a Chris Hemsworth type of guy, I mean balding white guys with skinny fat bodies and horrible style getting sexy girls and making out with them at bars and clubs. I don't think I ever saw any minorities, outside of a few black guys, with hot girls there.
At some point I am going to get accused of "pedestalizing" white women by this sub but majority of the women I ran into in Louisville were white and if it really bothers you that much, then you can stop reading my post right here.
None of this stuff made sense to me and some of these guys, I was friends with a couple (hey they were decent people!), worked crappy trade jobs like electrician and yet they were dating the tall hot blonde at the club. At some point, a guy starts to become frustrated and feel hopeless. It's one thing to lose out to a Chris Hemsworth but to some of these guys? That starts to make you really question things. My late 20s were right around the corner, I had to do something.
I became tired of Louisville even though the cost of living was great and I was saving a lot of money, it was wearing on me. After that I decided to move to Seattle and it was a different world for me. The cost of living was significantly higher but just looking around, I saw a big difference. I was seeing Asian men with hot girls of all races, from Aryan looking blondes to a Shannon Elizabeth lookalike.
Somehow, this all carried over to the bar scene because I didn't even have to approach women on some nights, I was getting approached myself and these girls were above average looking. At one point I was sleeping with 4 different above average looking women on rotation, that is better than anything I had ever experienced. It wasn't just that, I also got a better reception in general such as going out to stores and people being nice to me, even had some tell me I was handsome....
I asked myself, what happened?
Why is it that Larry the Cable guy (yes Larry the Cable guy and not Chris Hemsworth) was trucking me and Oscar Isaac lookalikes in Lousville which is a big city and not some small hick town but in Seattle, I was holding my own against white guys that looked good on paper?
Then it came to me, there is a lot more politics involved to dating beautiful women than you have initially thought.
I used to think that maybe a Ludi Lin is going to do worse than a Chris Hemsworth but I can live with that because Chris Hemsworth obviously has quite a high ceiling, Ludi Lin will get his anyways right? Except I was wrong, depending on where he is at, even Ludi Lin won't get shit, or he will get some action but will have to go way below his league to get it.
Attractive women don't just see a handsome, relatively wealthy, and charismatic guy and throw themselves at him.
Attractive women need to be aware of social trends in their area to give a guy a chance.
So the next time you see that pretty blonde or even that pretty Asian girl with a white guy that isn't all that special looking, think about this. Dating beautiful women is a lot more political than you may initially think.
It's like the saying goes, "high school never ends".
Beautiful women value "status" and "status" isn't as clear cut as you may have first thought. The beautiful yet frustrating thing about it is that "status" can vary, the same redneck you see dating hot girls in the rust belt might struggle to get hot girls in certain parts of NYC.
In a way, attractive women in an area are like a litmus test.
If you see hot girls in an area dating plain looking guys driving pickups and wearing "Make America Great Again" hats, then there is a good chance that not even an Asian guy with Ludi Lin looks and tight game can get them.
Because attractive women do not want to risk their status and their social standing by going for men that their social crowd would portray as undesirable, in case of Louisville it was any guy not white.
Attractive women keep their ears to the ground and they keep track on what is going on in a given society, to the majority of them their social image means everything.
If you are seeing Chrissy Teigen, Brooklyn Decker, and Zulay Henao lookalikes dating Asian guys and men of various races instead of exclusively going for white guys, then chances are that your race might not be the only thing holding you back (and speaking of race I named 3 celebs of various backgrounds to stop some of you from calling this a "white worship" thread).
As Asian men in the western world, we have no choice but to keep our ears to the ground too.
Or else we risk being that Asian guy with six pack abs, good looks, a nice salary, and charismatic personality wondering why the redneck who can barely say a coherent sentence has a hot girl by his arms while we don't.
So if you are an Asian guy who has truly done it all and improved so much over the years yet you aren't doing so well with dating, this is something you may have to take into account.
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